- cross-posted to:
- theonion@midwest.social
- cross-posted to:
- theonion@midwest.social
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I do wish USA was like Canada
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They didn’t say they’d be keeping the people.
just a portion of magats voting would be enough to ruin canada within a decade, unless it’s made only a ‘territory’ with a just single riding (like yukon, nwt, and nunavut each have)
We could let them be a territory for a 150-200 years like they’ve been letting Puerto Rico sit as one. However long it takes for Puerto Rico, add an extra 50 years.
I will take the American doctors please. But not their healthcare system.
Also anyone who is cool and not a narcissistic sociopath is invited too. The rest can be left out of the deal.
Imagine Canada owning the Grand Canyon and Yosemite National Park.
We would be undeniably the most beautiful country in the world.
Canada already is undeniably the most beautiful country in the world. We don’t need Yosemite lol
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i don’t want to be in a country with Ohio though
- sincerely, an American
It’ll get renamed to ‘Oh, hi eh!’
Sorry
Easy fix: Dig an Ohio-sized hole, fill Lake Erie back up with water and call it the Gulf of Intelligence.
I have some bad news
Hey I’m from Ohio D:
🤮
I’m so sorry that you’re from Ohio
Hey now, Cincinnati is great. We got chili, we got King’s Island, we got a museum with dinosaurs and a lot of historical stuff too, we got Graeter’s Ice Cream, not exactly unique to Cincinnati but we have a baseball and football team that we feel very strongly about even if they don’t always meet our expectations, we got one of the best zoos and botanical gardens in the United States, while it’s not technically Ohio, we have the Newport Aquarium right across the river, we got all kinds of stuff!
Including corn. God we love corn.
oh, I’ve heard all about you4 Cincinnati “chili”
Positive things I’m sure. If you don’t enjoy Cincinnati chili, are you even living??
Right guys? Right??
(We also enjoy regular chili, my company has an annual chili cookoff. Not Cincinnati chili, just regular chili)
Is that the chili that’s kind of like a ground beef and bean soup?
Well not really. It is kind of ground beef soup, with a lot of spices added to give it it’s signature flavor. This chili, spaghetti, and cheese is a three-way. If you add beans in the chili (or onion), then it becomes a four-way (or I guess just… chili with beans in it if you put it on anything else?). If you put BOTH beans and onions in it, then it’s a five-way.
Lol, just Ohio?
Keep it, we’re good.
Professor Maxine Welkers of the University of Toronto Economics Dept. explains, “Given Americans’ low literacy rates, costly health insurance, and how much animal shit their FDA allows in their food, Canada annexing the U.S. is really more of a humanitarian gesture.”
That line is gold.
And true.
I’m saving up!
Hahaha. For a moment I thought this was real news and some politician actually said this. Then I saw beaverton.
Just do it already. I’ll fight to be Canadian 💪🍁
Can I offer you New York State and all the economic power that comes with it? The US can keep Staten Island. We put our garbage there.
I’d back this eh. I think aboot it a loot. Eh. Bagged milk.
Ahhh, finally! Peace!
idea: you guys invade and enslave all the rich white people, turn the entire thing into a streaming series.
Can we make some of them territories so they can’t vote.
The whole thing, can’t risk it. Plus it’s way easier to avoid any attacks on being biased if no.
However, we should make Puerto Rico a province.
Hell no. Puerto Ricans overwhelmingly voted for Orange babboon.
Oh booo yea ok fuck ‘em.
That isn’t just voting for the leopard who will eat your face, that’s voting the leopard who has already eaten your face.
Make Puerto Rico their bosses
Canadian territories get to vote though
MY BODY IS READY.
I’ll chug maple syrup. Learn to ride a moose. Whatever it takes. But please make this happen.
In Soviet Canuckistan, moose rides you
Don’t forget the poutine and beer.
