🤔
Me and my twin were leashed. I didn’t know it, so I guess we weren’t affected by that too much. Just other stuff in childhood. It was difficult for mother to control twins if she took us out alone so leashes it was.
Other people were so shitty to her about it though.
When an animal is old and dying, you’re expected to euthanize it. When a human is old and dying, you’re expected to keep them alive as long as possible
How else do you plan to support the Healthcare industry?
a pet doesn’t leave behind an estate to inherit. laws are hesitant on human euthanasia because of the scope of misuse by greedy beneficiaries of wills.
Maybe we should rethink ownership as a concept. Is it really necessary? I feel like it causes a lot of trouble without solving much. Why can’t humans just properly work together in a society that shares resources with those in need?
Says who?
I’ve seen plenty of small kids on wrist leashes since the 80’s.
Also, there’s a vast difference between a kid and even a dog, when it comes to autonomy - your goal is to slowly develop a kid’s autonomy so they can be independent. Some kids/circumstances can be very challenging to negotiate safely.
With dogs, you have to do the reverse - condition them so they’ll want to defer their autonomy to you. And with some dogs, even with the best, most capable trainers in the world they’ll still dart after that rabbit or whatever catches their eye.
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This one guy always hanged at out playground and really did seem to like children. Always had candy on the back of his van as well.
I like them when they hit age 10-11 or so and their logic circuits start to kick in.
But when they’re really young you can do things like convince them that trees walk and that’s why trees in cities are in those little cages or pens. (They do actually use their roots to pull themselves around a bit, but it takes a very long time for the amount of movement to be noticeable.)
I did use my powers for evil once and convinced the neighbor kid that string cheese came from cheese trees.
AFAIK it’s acceptable if the parent is walking or sitting with the child. It’s only abusive if you tie the leash outside while you go run some errands in a store, or if left attached in the backyard.
Yeah, that’s why you left them in the car
They like the warmth. It sends them to sleep.
Yes officer, this right here.
Leashing kids is not normal, or acceptable.
I grew up with 6 siblings, and divorced parents. Never in my life have I, or my siblings, been leashed (by our parents at least).
I’d never even seen a child on a leash until I went to the Georgia Aquarium, where I saw lots of kids on leashes. All the kids had the same kind of parent holding the lead. Some huge bitch with her nose stuck in her phone instead of enjoying the day with her kid that she fucking paid for.
Leashes are not normal, they are a sign of abuse.
“Oh, it’s needed for the kid’s safety”
No, it is not. I’ve been to cliffs, canyons, Yellowstone, caves and big cities in all kinds of venues, and I’ve only seen kids on leashes specifically in child-friendly venues, playgrounds, museums, and zoos, in the Bible-belt areas of the US. It’s not dangerous for kids to be off a leash and have some autonomy. If you are taking them to a place where it’s dangerous for them to act like children…then why the fuck are you taking them there in the first place?!
“My kid has special needs…”
Still doesn’t need a fucking leash. I worked at a daycamp for special needs children, and we never leashed or even restrained a child unless they were doing something dangerous to themselves or others. Even then, there was paperwork for the incident, and the restraint was always temporary. At 16 years old, I was a camp counselor for 4 special needs children at a time. An adult does not need a leash for just one.
There is one thing that leashes give parents, and that is a sense of physical domination of their child. Anything else is just an excuse.
It’s normal enough. I saw a couple of kids on wrist leashes just this weekend at a very crowded outdoor event. The kids were probably about 2 and 3. I have a 3 year old as well, and didn’t have him on a leash because he’s responsive to my voice calling him and has decent (for his age) impulse control. I didn’t judge or have negative impressions of those parents. They were present and just trying to enjoy the event with their kids. It’s HIGHLY kid dependent. When I was a toddler, I was the type to just run off in a crowd and I could have saved my mother a lot of grief and panic if she had a leash for me. It’s just another tool available to parents.
It’s important not to project your feelings as an adult, because you have different assumptions, associations and contexts tied to leashes than a toddler does. Generally, toddlers are taught to have shame or be embarrassed about things, their default sentiment to most things is extremely pragmatic. A toddler on a leash will be focused on the tactile sensation of it on their wrist or body, the effect it has of limiting their movement, and not much else. Think about when you saw those kids on leashes… were they upset about the leash? Were they trying to get out of it? Were they asking their guardians to please take it off? Or were they just kinda being silly kids running around exploring?
Also to this:
If you are taking them to a place where it’s dangerous for them to act like children…*then why the fuck are you taking them there in the first place?!*
Sometimes you just have no other option. A fair price for babysitting is $20+ USD an hour. Not every toddler is in or has access to daycare. Not every family has grandparents close enough to drop them off with. Sometimes bringing them along to a place with you is the only way they’ll have supervision.
Think about when you saw those kids on leashes… were they upset about the leash?
Probably, but I think at that point they’d learned not to complain to the person holding the lead that can yank them around like a dog.
I can tell you they weren’t playing with the other kids. They were the only kids at the aquarium watching their parent more than the fish.
If it’s so normal, where are all the movies and TV shows that portray kids on leashes? Where are the documentaries where people are waking around with leashed kids in the background? You don’t see it, because it’s not normal (in the US at least) outside of some very regressive areas.
Sometimes bringing them along to a place with you is the only way they’ll have supervision.
I think we need to make a distinction between places that are dangerous for kids, and places that are inconvenient for parents. You don’t have to take your toddler on a cliff walk, and you don’t need to leash them at the grocery store, or the bank.
I’ve personally only seen kids on leashes in the context I mentioned above, of a large, crowded event where a few bodies moving in the way of your kid will break line of sight entirely. Outdoor festivals, concerts, fairs, amusement parks etc. I have never seen a kid on a leash at a playground or park or bank or grocery store etc. Toddlers are small and if there’s a lot of bodies around it would be VERY easy to lose sight of them. If my kid ran off and broke my line of sight of him in a crowd I absolutely would have a moment of panic. Again, I’m not going to judge other parents for finding solutions to problems that don’t harm the child.
I got away from my mother at a large event, and left her panicking and organizing other parents to search for me. When they found me she spanked me and yelled at me for running off. It wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t be the last. Obviously hitting me was wrong, but she was terrified of what could have happened to me. If she had just used a tether it would never have happened.
Something’s lack of representation in media is not exactly a reliable metric of commonality, if it was, gay people sprang into being in the late 90s.
Your gay analogy doesn’t work, because a culture of persecuting and demonizing gay people for thousands of years might have something to do with their refusal to publicly out themselves.
Which only adds to their point, actually. You literally just proved that their lack of representation did not mean they didn’t exist - there were other reasons.
So, if leashing kids is both common and normal/acceptable, then why the fuck are they hiding? Are you saying that the world is full of closeted child-leashers who just leash their kids in the privacy of their own homes?
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Why don’t you write a snide comment that adds nothing to the conversation?
Nevermind, you already did.
Wrong, it’s perfectly normal.
From the sounds of things, you are not a parent trying to comment on things you know nothing about. The leash actually gives toddlers freedom they wouldn’t otherwise have. It lets them walk around, with some constraints, instead of being stuck riding in a stroller all the time. Kids at that age will jet off real quick. You take your eyes off then for a second and they’re gone.
It’s not perfectly normal. Believe it or not, I was a child at one time. Never put on a leash. My brothers and sisters, never leashed. Nieces and nephews? No leashes for them. Okay maybe it’s just my family.
Going to parties with other kids? Never saw a child on a leash there.
Our of state? I traveled many states as a kid, I didn’t see other kids on leashes at the ST. Louis Arch, nor at the Smithsonian.
The first time I saw a kid on a leash, was in Atlanta, at age 14.
It. Is. Not. Fucking. Normal.
Just because YOU weren’t didn’t mean it isn’t common. Your parents did it the hard way. For no reason.
I was leashed as a toddler in the early 90s. I am not ashamed of that.
You don’t leash kids at parties, that’s an enclosed private space with little risk of them running off, what a weird pointless anecdote. You apparently being sheltered isn’t a good argument.
Sounds like you weren’t going to places where very young children were in attendance. You use them in busy public places that require movement. Like a zoo. You see them all the time at places like that. It’s better than a stroller and you don’t have to worry about a half second of taking your eyes off the kids, they’re jetting into the crowd. Even more useful if you have multiples.
You apparently being sheltered isn’t a good argument.
Complete missed where I had traveled across the US as a kid.
I don’t think I was a sheltered kid. 7 of us vs one parent at a time didn’t leave a lot of bandwidth for them to be helicopter parents. Wasn’t a latchkey kid either. I’d walk myself and my brothers home from school most days. During the summer we’d walk down to the pool on our own, or sometimes take a younger sibling with us if they wanted to go (surprise surprise, no leashes at the pool) or we’d walk across town and grab snacks from the grocery store (still no leashes).
Leahing kids is not normal, if you don’t believe me, try to find video of a place where more than 3 are leashed in the background of a news report or puff piece.
The vast majority of kids aren’t leashed. It’s not normal.
Traveling across the US doesn’t mean you went to places where small kids congregated. It’s also more common NOW than it was back then.
Why are you acting like people are leashing 8-10 year olds. You use them when the kids are 1-3 so they’re not stuck in their stroller the whole time you’re at some public place (which is probably what your parents did with you). It really sounds like you think parents are tying their kid to a post, instead of having a connection on their wrist. Your arguments come across as if you have zero idea what we’re talking about and only had a visceral overreaction to just hearing this concept for the first time.
The kids often enjoy it, too. They think they’re the ones leading their parents.
try to find video of a place where more than 3 are leashed in the background of a news report or puff piece.
What a stupidly arbitrary and specific demand for proof.
Why are you acting like people are leashing 8-10 year olds.
The kids I saw leashed were primarily in the 6-12 range if I had to guess. They absolutely were not 2-4.
What a stupidly arbitrary and specific demand for proof.
I can find you a video of a news report with kids in the background where none of them are leashed in just a few minutes, mainly because the vast majority of children are not put on leashes.
Yeah, but let’s take it one step further. Lets put a muzzle on kids! ESPECIALLY in airports! Have you ever in your life been in an airport, and NOT been sitting in an area with some shitty kid crying and screaming, and being a general piece of shit?
No. The answer is no you haven’t. Unless you’ve never been to an airport. I suppose thats a second option.
Dog muzzles are not to stop them from barking. They can still make all the noise, a muzzle is to protect people from their sharp teeth.
Why Not using earplugs?
I liked the idea until you made it about sound.
I don’t want some random kid biting me. I could get rabies.
Children aren’t pets.
Pets aren’t children
Putting someone to a leash is degrading for humans. I know that there are exceptions, but If you are putting children on a leash, you are mostly seen as a bad parent and probably you are. Also: dogs are on a leash mostly for safety reasons for others.
but If you are putting children on a leash, you are mostly seen as a bad parent and probably you are.
100% you aren’t a parent.
I’ve never put a leash on my kid because I didn’t frequent extremely busy crowds. But leashes are great for kids. It gives them the feeling of self autonomy to explore, while keeping them safe.
Anyone who says they’re bad has never experienced turning your back for 0.68 seconds and then realizing your kid is already gone off somewhere. They are fast.
Again, it’s humiliating for children. Children are Not animals, and as parent it’s you fucking job to Look after your offspring. A leash will not Help you, when you are on the phone and the children runs into danger.
Also i know that they are fast. I have two of them, one of them running like hell ;)
That’s your opinion. I was a leashed child at one point in my life and I don’t care at all. It was pre cell phones so that argument doesn’t work either. It’s not about the parent not wanting to deal with their kid, it’s about them not wanting the kid to bother other people and to prevent toddlers from running off in large crowds.
The age group of children that gets put on leashes doesn’t have the brain development to feel shame or humiliation. Their brains have literally not developed the cortex that does that yet.
From the age of about 2 to 4, my Dad made a harness out of climbing webbing for me and clipped the leash to a carabineer on his belt when we were out and about. We were constantly going to places like Haight St in San Francisco and hiking on the sea cliffs in Santa Cruz. I 100% would have gotten myself killed without that leash because I was very curious about the fishies in the ocean at the bottom of that 50-100ft high cliff, and my Dad was wrangling me and my sibling by himself while Mom was at work.
I’m pretty sure there’s a picture somewhere of me leaning over a cliff being held back by the leash because I was a rambunctious little gremlin that was about 20 years off from having a fully developed frontal lobe. And I want to find that picture and share it with my friends because I think it’s hilarious.
Again, it’s humiliating for children
A two year old doesn’t get embarrassed.
as parent it’s you fucking job to Look after your offspring.
Parents get tired. In fact, most parents have chronic levels of sleep deprivation which impairs things like concentration, reflexes, ability to pay attention, etc. Then you have parents who might be working multiple jobs, be dealing with health issues that affect sleep, etc. A leash would make that job to keep kids safe much easier.
And I’m not sure how it works in your mind. No leash equals the parent keeping the kid safe, even though not every situation can allow a parent to keep 100% focus on the child, but using a leash the parent suddenly isn’t paying attention?
How do you think that works?
Should a parent not give the kid a helmet when learning to ride a bike then also? Does using a helmet mean the parent isn’t keeping the kid safe?
I’d like to know your thoughts on not utilizing safety equipment with children. I’m very curious.
A leash will not Help you, when you are on the phone and the children runs into danger.
Do you… do you not understand how a leash works?
Edit: grammar
You’ve got two huh.
Hey everyone check out this parenting expert over here! They’ve raised two kids 😲
That’s basically 100% of human behavior, so yeah. Wow. Leashes? Can’t fathom a situation that would warrant it. You’re right. Everyone who has ever used a leash is correcting for a problem you’re very experienced in, and found a better way for. After all, you have two kids.
I’ve met too many people like this.
Your kid is having an issue with something? “Well my kids never did that!” But said in a snide way that implies you’re doing something wrong.
I never Made my Point about, that i have children. It was only to answer the post before that i “100% don’t have children”. It really doesn’t Matter If you have children or not
You either: Lied about having kids
Or
Are a bad parent.
I don’t care which it is, Im just letting you know that you’ve made this much clearer than you realize.
What the fuck you are talking about?
My vote is that you’re lying about being a parent. But if you are a parent, then you’re letting social pressures and some very strange and warped perception of things limit what you do as a parent to protect your kids.
I won’t outright say that it makes you a “bad” parent, but I personally cannot fathom not taking every step I can to protect my child. And no, a leash doesn’t limit their development. It factually promotes it on the very basis that it allows them to be more active in walking around and exploring in situations where it would be unthinkable to let a child walk around (heights, dangerous areas, on a boat, large dense crowds, etc.).
Being stuck in a stroller 99% of the time is awful for kids that want to run around and explore. Some parents don’t have the physical strength or ability to carry a kid all the time.
Twins or even triplets that are very active and wild are a perfect example. You will never contain two very wild toddlers by just “watching them”. And if you try, you are a bad parent.
Ultimately you choose a very dumb him to die on. You are wrong.
Not a parent.
Of course it will help in that case. It’s literally what it’s there for. Also, the age where you can get away with leashing your kids is also the age where they aren’t forming a ton of memories or where they have no social context to be embarrassed. They may be embarrassed when they’re older, but that’s just life.
Stop inflicting your feelings into random children.
I find it very interesting that you have absolutely equated a leash with a pet and with degradation.
I have a cat, he’s not on a leash. Is he my child now? Or does that just mean he’s *not" my pet?
dogs are on a leash mostly for safety reasons for others.
That’s not entirely true. For example, dogs don’t understand traffic and that running across a street is dangerous (well, most dogs. Some dogs are just very smart). Keeping them on a leash minimizes the chance that it darts across the street because it sees something it wants to get. The owner put the dog on a leash because they understand that doing so will keep the dog safe from injury. The owner recognizes that the dog doesn’t understand the dangers involved.
An infant also doesn’t understand (can’t understand) the dangers. Putting them on a leash protects them from that danger. But it also helps the child develop independence, helps them exercise, helps them learn to walk better, helps their mental development from being able to explore and interact with the world.
Compared to just being carried or stuck in a stroller, which is ultimately boring and doesn’t help at all with the motor skills, and is far less impactful with mental development as they can only observe and not interact with.
Not really. I wish more parents would use kid leashes. They clip onto a harness, not a collar. In fact the old saying about kids being “tied to their mother’s apron strings” is literally this, to keep the little monsters from running off and getting hurt or lost.
My daughter and I had ones that were just bracelets with a retractable cord between. She could get up to around four feet from me. We did a lot of hiking since she could walk, and I can’t imagine going through some places without it. She’s so quick and always loved to peer right over cliff sides. No fear!
Provide a safe space, let kids run wild. Ideal.
This made me realize that my parents having me on a leash as a toddler may be why I have a leash kink as an adult. 🤔
how many judge judy cases are about problems caused by runaway children? there’s a reason why laws mandate leashes for dogs – their scope for damage is far higher than is that for toddlers.
Some children need leashes
Some children need choke collars
No it’s not?
They make leashes specifically for toddlers. They’re pretty common.
This is mostly copied from my reply to another comment:
Parents get tired. In fact, most parents have chronic levels of sleep deprivation which impairs things like concentration, reflexes, ability to pay attention, etc. Then you have parents who might be working multiple jobs, be dealing with health issues that affect sleep, etc. A leash would make that job to keep kids safe much easier.
No leash equals a non-abusive, even though not every situation can allow a parent to keep 100% focus on the child, but using a leash the parent suddenly becomes abusive?
Should a parent not give the kid a helmet when learning to ride a bike then also? Does using a helmet mean the parent is abusive?
I just don’t understand this. I cannot fathom that someone would criticize a thing that objectively and provably make life in the world safer for children. It’s just another tool to help kids get to grow up.
There are countless stories of children just walking away in the 3 to 5 seconds a parent looks away where the child falls off a height, falls into water (not every parent can swim, and not all waters are swimable), gets picked up by a stranger in a crowd, etc. Situations that a leash would 100% have saved the child’s life.
And when these people are confronted on why it’s abusive or “embarrassing for the child”, they don’t have an answer.
They might say something out of left field like “children aren’t dogs!”, to which I say “yes, you’re right. Children aren’t dogs. Very good! Now about the leash, why is it abusive?”
I used to run into traffic when I was a kid, so my mom put me on a leash.
Still never been hit by a car, so overall I think it was a good call. I don’t feel degraded by it.
Good on your mom! And glad you were safe!
Counterpoint: children are people
I grew up with my father working night shifts and my mother being tired all the time, I didn’t need a leash.
Children are a lot more capable and resilient if you give them the chance to be, and insulating them from small forms of possible harm doesn’t help their development.
Now I am not saying “let your toddler run around a highway” but if you pick a reasonable place for your child to play there’s no need for a fucking leash 99% of the time.
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Yes, the consequences of me not being tied up while my suburban mom has a 2 hour brunch are far reaching
children are people
Very good! I’d give you a sticker, but I don’t know where you live.
insulating them from small forms of possible harm doesn’t help their development.
And a leash doesn’t do that. Being a hover parent does.
if you pick a reasonable place for your child to play there’s no need for a fucking leash 99% of the time.
What? Is that how you people think using a leash works? You think a leash is put on the child in the morning and isn’t taken off until the end of the day? Are you for real with that? Forget it, you don’t get a sticker for saying the dumbest thing I’ve heard today. And I’ve already watched a video about a flat earther.
You are absolutely insane and a lazy ass parent lmfao
Learning’s hard, eh?
Parents don’t have the HoW dArE YoU tElL mE wHaT I dO tO mY cHiLd Is ShItTy attitude challenge
I think you were projecting with that “you’re insane” comment.
I have no idea what you’re trying to say this time. Maybe have a lie down?
I am reflecting on my own parenting. I see possible benefits of a leash.
We’ve never used a leash. Instead I do a lot of yelling / stern vocalizations to keep kids away from areas they shouldn’t be. My approach is fraught with negative side effects because I often come off as angry, and my spouse and I work on checking me if it gets to be too much.
A leash could be a good alternative, or just an additional option to incorporate. It’s food for thought.
Instead I do a lot of yelling / stern vocalizations to keep kids away from areas they shouldn’t be.
It’s a natural instinct to convey urgency of danger. It works for adults but it can be damaging to kids.
The truth is that in a life or death situation, you do whatever you need to do to keep kids safe.
That’s not a great take.
Children are people, don’t make them wear diapers! They can pee anywhere they want!
Children are people! Don’t limit their screen time! If you just give them plenty of toys, they will be capable of limiting their own screen time!
Children are people! They are resilient! Let them watch R-rated films and have unfettered access to the Internet!
No one is talking about putting a leash on an eight year old. We’re talking about letting a 14 month old get to experience the privilege of walking in a public place rather than being trapped on Mom’s hip or in a stroller.
I’ve never broken a bone, but I did get a dislocated elbow once when I was quite young, maybe 2 or 3. I was a dumb stubborn kid who threw a tantrum in the middle of a street and my mom had to grab me by the arm and drag me to safety. I fought her so hard I dislocated my elbow. I’m not sure if a leash would have made that situation more manageable, but I wouldn’t have blamed my parents for trying it. Sometimes kids go through a feral animal phase and you just have to deal with it however you can.
Yup, that’s called nurse maid’s elbow. It’s incredibly common. It’s almost always caused by a kid trying to yank themselves away. And it happens because at that young the tendons aren’t strong enough to hold that amount of weight/tension.
And putting it back is an easy process, if you know how to do it. Pain almost immediately goes away, though they need to be in a sling.
though they need to be in a sling.
Not true, my son got nurse maid’s elbow. He was crying almost non-stop for 5 hours between it happening to the doctor walking into the doctor’s room. The instant the doctor manipulated his arm he stopped crying and it was like nothing happened.
Typically, the sling is to reduce the chance of repeat injury, not for pain.
Well according to the doc that’s not a concern unless the same force is applied again.
I’ve taken care of too many toddlers, I guess to trust that.
But I have taken care of too many toddlers to trust that they keep it on consistently, as well.
For kids the leash is supposed to be psychological.
That’s actually a common practise in some areas. I saw people doing it in London for example.
I’ve seen it in Europe a few times. Sometimes children just want to be a menace and a leash is the only thing to keep them safe. Or so the parents say.
