Show transcript
Screenshot of a Tumblr post by nongunktional:
when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue
to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence
Yeah…like THAT is ever gonna happen lol
Genuinely, who keeps posting shit like this on here? I keep seeing posts such as this one and it’s honestly pushing me away from Lemmy. Why spend time on a platform that hates me? If being a man who didn’t date (because of social anxiety, btw, not that you’d care, since clearly men are by default fascists, according to some comments here) is a sin, let us know on the front page, so that me and others like myself can avoid this place.
A lot of comments are, thankfully, calling this shitty behaviour out. But then I look at the post itself, which has 696 upvotes and 166 downvotes, and I’m like… I’m not wanted here.
I’m with the second guy. I’m not going to doom scroll through useless dating apps and talking to every woman on the street. I’d rather do my own hobbies and do my own things so worst case scenario, I’m happy with what I’m doing, best case scenario I get a SO, or reasonable scenario is I make some friends.
People who make getting laid or not their whole personality are people that I would want nothing to do with.
deleted by creator
and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue
Is that what it actually refer to ? Then I too, misunderstood.
Meanwhile I find I get unwanted attention from women, at a work event they kept talking to me. For some reason pretending to be interested in my clearly boring story. Why won’t she leave me alone? I just want to eat the free food and go home.
I even talked about Linux and that didn’t drive her away.
Can’t be enjoyable and relaxing sorry, got blue balls
Ok, ok, ok. I know everyone likes anecdotes.
I don’t fall in the lonely camp, but I’m definitely not getting laid.
Why am I not getting laid?
Well I used to think it was cause I was fat, but then I lost a ton of weight. Then I thought it was cause I wasn’t fit so I put on muscle. Then I thought it was cause I was vampire pale so I got sunburned.
Reality is:
- I annoy myself in my own head. I’m definitely going to annoy a potential sex partner.
- I am literally scared of everything. Fear does not encourage one to partake in mating rituals.
- I have priorities like a job and a son that are more important than a new woman in my life will be for a while.
- Having a big dick doesn’t give you big dick energy.
Sorry to hear that but congrats on your dick at least bro.
I didn’t ask to have BPD. I didn’t ask for inability to regulate emotions. I can only be me. I definitely cannot pretend to be relaxed or fun. That’s not just me. Relaxed side of me comes out slowly.
I am not asking for every woman to date me or even go out with me. All I am asking for is a bit of empathy. But if that’s too much, well. I cannot change anyone’s mind.
p.s., I wish I were not born. But, that is out of my hands too.
This post is not talking about you, don’t worry about it.
Alright then, tell us your criteria for men to follow to be truly lonely, since you’re so sure that BPD apparently disqualifies you.
What? All I am saying is that this person isn’t the target of this post. It sounds like they would have a very hard time doing the things the OP suggested. There is more than one way to be not lonely. I hope they try some other advice that is easier for them.
As a man experiencing a lack of friendship, camaraderie, and emotion connection, regardless of fault or cause, the OP reduces that experience to “not getting laid”. That affects me regardless of never actually using the phrase “male loneliness epidemic” to describe anything, of whether I fall into some 100 pages of “exceptions”, or that the post doesn’t explicitly say “those experiences don’t exist”. To say that the OP doesn’t actually communicate that is to simply close one’s eyes to an inconvenient truth of how people work.
Being told something has an impact. Even if it can be rationalized as “not about me”. Even if what was said isn’t what was intended. Even if some comments express support for people like me (and ignoring everyone who doubles down on it). Even if “big boy learns people say mean things sometimes”. What do you think that impact is gonna be here? For someone sharing my experiences who doesn’t stop to dig into this post, I doubt that impact is to move them towards being the sort of healthy, happy person we’d want.
Do you go on the internet often? All posts are like this. All posts generalize. All posts have a long list of implicit exceptions that are not stated.
Would you get upset about a post that says having bad spelling is a skill issue that could be fixed with practice, even though you appear not to have a skill issue with spelling?
If your answer is yes, then you should get off the internet, it is literally doing damage to you. You are literally jumping in front of bullets that are not meant for you.
Yeah, it kind of is.
No it isn’t. For example:
If the original poster said “It’s a skill issue, all you need to get a partner you need to shake their hand”.
And then the imaginary fckreddit was like “I didn’t ask to have no arms. I didn’t ask for an inability to do a shake hands. I can only be me…”
Do you see how it this was not targeting imaginary fckreddit. It can’t be a skill issue on imaginary fckreddit’s part because they have no arms.
Just like it can’t be a skill issue on the real fckreddit’s part because they lack the ability that most people have in that area though no fault of their own.
OP can’t literally specify all the possible exceptions to their advice. The post would be 100 pages.
It’s hard ro feel that way when this is constantly brought up. At best it feels like I am just being told that I am ‘one of the goods’
I get it. I have ADHD and Dyslexia. All I need to do is clean my room lol.
Sucks that men’s issues are being treated as a joke or mischaracterized as something else and not important.
How does it spread if they are isolated?
Be an actual person. Have empathy. Have sympathy. Stop listening to Rogan, Peterson, stop doing Wim Hof baths, stop taking T when you don’t need it - focus on life, see nature, see the destruction of climate change, stop wanting to “get yours” and enjoy money and material goods in this life without caring about what impact these choices have to those who follow. Talk to women as peers and not sex objects. Join groups where the focus is not sex or angry fight club bullshit and meet people and get to know them slowly. Go to third spaces like coffee shops or local events - get out of your room and step away from the keyboard. This has become very hard for people. And FFS delete TikTok and Reddit.
So many people have become introverted and focus on hate and allow their homes, apartments, and lives to wither in benign neglect as they go deeper down the redpill rabbit hole. See someone. Go to therapy. Get the medications you need not the ones you want (T, stims, PEDs) - exception being if you actually have ADHD then stims might be appropriate but many men who want these meds do not have low T they do not have low T they have profound mood disorders and depression.
deleted by creator
Tips to get laid. Yeah, that seems right.
