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Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 year ago

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Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 year ago
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  • stupidcasey@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Forbidden knowledge… You must forget the crab people…

    • Aggravationstation@feddit.uk
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      1 year ago

      Taste like crab, read like people

  • Nusm@peachpie.theatl.social
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    1 year ago

    I mean, crabs are dangerously enough already with those strong claws, do we really want them learning how to read too? Think about it….

    [taps forehead meme]

    • ummthatguy@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

  • Zeus@feddit.org
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    1 year ago

    wow…Kaspersky really sucks now, huh?

    • pptiny@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      What do you mean? It’s great for russian intelligence.

  • TomMasz@piefed.social
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    1 year ago

    Teach the crabs how to read and the next thing you know lobsters will be doing the tango. It’s a slippery slope my friends.

    • sqgl@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      Lobsters don’t die due to old age. Instead, they end up at the seafood buffet or die from exhaustion during moulting – the process where they replace their shell due to their increasing size.

      https://www.unsw.edu.au/newsroom/news/2022/09/what-lobsters-can-teach-us-about-immortality0

      If they read the above then they may figure out to stop moulting and live forever. And imagine the knowledge they could accumulate!

  • Empricorn@feddit.nl
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    1 year ago

    This design baffles me. If you have your parental software set to block certain things, sure. But why would it need to snitch on attempts to access specific content? If your kid is smart and able to bypass the filter you’d never be notified anyway… So either block it or don’t!

    • Nalivai@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      And pass such an amazing opportunity to punish a child? And if the search is bad enough, you can even beat them up, isn’t that delightful?

      • Empricorn@feddit.nl
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        1 year ago

        Hmm, I do love beating children… At Mario Kart!

  • Katana314@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    If they teach crabs how to read, there’s a risk their society will advance to the levels seen in Carcinia, leading to a downfall of overcleanliness as king camtcha bleaches the city against the advice of his wizards, throwing the entire old ocean into disarray.

  • NoodlePoint@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Kaspersky

    For a computer security program it is overreaching to the point of ridiculousness.

  • gedaliyah@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    “Wait, what? Why?”

    • Maiq@lemy.lol
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      1 year ago

      Everyone needs a hobby.

  • WizardofIs@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    Carcinization!

  • betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Russian spyware.

    • Forester@pawb.social
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      1 year ago

      I mean you are not wrong but also they do do legitimate work when daddy kremlins not making them do butt stuff to unwitting cx.

    • 0_o7@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 year ago

      Russian spyware over US spyware over Chinese made hardware.

      • x0x7@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        And at the very top runs Google Chrome, aka corporate spyware.

  • Rhaedas@fedia.io
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    1 year ago

    There’s a list of things to not mess around with. Crabs are a bit lower than squirrels, but not by much.

  • ceenote@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Genetically Engineered Crabs Pose No Threat

  • Skullgrid@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Wait, you are capable of taking care of what your child accesses online without the government censoring the internet for everyone??? That’s impossible!

    • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Fascists hate this one simple trick!

      • x0x7@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        It’s labor doing it in the UK. It’s the people who people label fascists saying the internet should be free, at least there. In the US it seems to be the opposite.

        Maybe the problem is authoritarians.

        • Hawke@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Always has been.

  • Album@lemmy.ca
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    1 year ago

    If crabs could read there would be no stopping them.

    • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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      1 year ago

      Probably bears too.

      I mean the literate crabs would look creepier. But I could probably take them down with a flame thrower and some butter. Bears on the other hand, I’m not so sure.

  • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I like to pride myself on being knowledgeable enough to clarify and expand on carcinology topics on Lemmy, but I don’t know enough about crab neuroscience to know how effective this would be. I’m sorry, Lemmy.

    • x0x7@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Not very effective.

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