I am not religious and have no desire to start being now but sometimes I just want the community people get with church. I am craving connection with the community and feel it’s very healthy for families and neighbors as well. The United States is seriously lacking in third spaces and communities. It’s leading to a serious loneliness epidemic… Just wondering if there is anything that can fill that need for non-religious folks?
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The foundation these can exist on is protected “reserved” physical spaces.
Here we see communities spring up in the city parks and car-free zones, accessible hiking places (my home town is built in a pile of small mountains), and local school activity centers.
So if you see any space that’s reserved from commercial exploitation, I’d look there and see if anything has formed. Communities usually don’t advertise heavily.
Rotary (or Rotaract depending on your age) may fill that niche for you? It’s been pretty good for me, personally, and has a huge focus on connecting with and doing good in your local community.
I was going to recommend this as well. My local rotary club is vibrant and relatively young (some aren’t) and we do a lot of volunteer work. It’s intentionally apolitical and secular.
Check your local Unitarian Universalism (UU) branch.
https://www.uua.org/uuagovernance/committees/article-ii-study-commission/about-article-2
"Section C-2.1. Principles.
We, the member congregations of the Unitarian Universalist Association, covenant to affirm and promote
The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;
The goal of world community with peace, liberty and justice for all;
Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part."
I have a couple of friends who go to one of the UU churches in Dallas. I think maybe Roe came from it.
Fellow UU here, second checking them out. Wanted to emphasize that there’s no expectation to believe a particular religious text. Our services lately have been around the themes of practicing resistance (which can take many forms) and being resilient in the face of adversity. Our congregation celebrates holidays from most major religious traditions as well as secular holidays like Earth Day and Trans Day of Visibility. I’m also a big fan of the community volunteer opportunities and music program. Each congregation is a bit different based on the membership, here’s a link to find one near you. Many stream services on Zoom so you can check them out with very low commitment.
…getting some very religious vibes from this text
I mean, the UU church is still a church after all, but without a lot of the toxic trappings. You aren’t going to get anyone telling you the only way to get to heaven is through Jesus for example.
https://www.uua.org/beliefs/what-we-believe/beliefs/christianity/views-jesus
"UUs may view Jesus as a moral exemplar, practicing the compassion, generosity, and mercy that he preached. In his own life and in stories like the Good Shepherd and the Good Samaritan, Jesus calls us to connect: to transcend pride and selfishness and choose instead to love and serve, to do good, and to care for each other.
For some, Jesus is a prophetic leader and an instrument of the divine. They may or may not believe Jesus was the son of God or was resurrected but share with Christians a conviction that his witness has the spiritual power to redeem mistakes and save lives. Many describe a personal relationship with him that strengthens and inspires. Jesus calls us to discover new life and truth by following him.
Others view Jesus as a reformer and dissident, an underdog and ally. He was executed as a political criminal because of his teachings, but his life made an impact, then and now. He called out injustice in his own community and in the government. He stood with and spoke up for the most vulnerable, and he challenged his followers to feed the hungry and visit the imprisoned. Jesus calls us to transform, to resist the unjust systems that divide us, and reshape them for good."
Personally, I wouldn’t be comfortable with any field of thought other than “Jesus was a literary fiction, constructed by the early church as a method of control over an illiterate populace.” but then that’s why I don’t go to church. 😉
Interesting, how you suddenly make that switch from some super abstract, nebulous nothingness to a lengthy framing of Jesus.
I don’t, it’s the UU folks, and each UU church is slightly different. You can see my personal opinion at the bottom. 😉
Thought I’d share that UU congregations I’ve been a part of really don’t like focusing too much on Jesus/Christianity, especially outside of the high Christian holidays. We even held an Earth Day service on an Easter Sunday because we have more members who identify with various varieties of paganism/wicca or are agnostic
I’m an atheist, and a UU church is the only church where I felt truly accepted and comfortable. Granted, this is in CO in a progressive area.
The minster was a lesbian woman, and her sermons were just stories about kindness and courage and connection. It was great.
I don’t think I have heard anyone mention god in the year I was there. YMMV.
Team sports, volunteer work, social clubs, table top rpgs, choir or a band, basically any hobby you do offline in a group,…
Honestly the fact that you have to ask this question kinda shows how broken the society you live in is.
This is what’s called a “third place”. And they’ve been deliberately killed off or commercialized.OP mentioned the lack of third places by name in the post
edit: they said third space, same idea
Nope, nothing else offers an out from the fear of death.
Nor the forgiveness sans accountability.
Yep, there’s another one.
That’s what builds the community. Or binds it. Those things at that level that aren’t offered elsewhere to ordinary people.
Join a choir. Same connection.
Volunteer work is probably your solution.
Other than mere social activities, people work together towards common goals, and all of them considers them good goals (different than between you and your boss at work). This gives strong feelings of becoming a community etc.
It’s called a bar.
tried this and caught alcoholism, 0/10 would not recommend.
I wish something like the sunrise movement started a new religion about taking climate change seriously. No sky bully, just people gathering weekly to hear about the earth, what we can do to make it better.
What would the core tenements be?
- anti consumption
- probably encouraging people to eat less/no meat
- energy efficiency - home improvements that make a difference
- most importantly- opting away from big corporate polluters when at all possible. Buy local not Amazon. Individual choice doesn’t mean much compared to systemic environmental harm.
I’ve also thought about this a bit and this is my best pitch. But I don’t think it’s very likely to happen when it’s hard enough just getting by for most people now.
Why would this need to be a religion though?
Tax-exempt status is one I can think of. I had a similar idea for the Church of Labor. Beliefs are unionization, community solidarity and mutual aid. Get the government to subsidize workers organizing.
Sunday Assembly is what you’re looking for.
I knew a Unitarian. He described going to church as more like a weekly potluck.
There are also local political clubs you could look into as they will be focused on local community issues.
I just started going to a Unitarian Universalist church. I grew up Catholic and couldn’t stand it. Instead of reading from the Bible or talking about God they are reading words from civil rights activists and talking about how to build community and resist ICE. I really have been enjoying this as a way to actually get out of the house and connect with people with similar values. This Sunday I signed up to help in their garden planning for this season too.
Honestly? Church. There are even non-denominational churches which are more about community than religion for exactly this reason.
Should these people be focusing on non-“church” groups? Of course, until you realize no one would know how to find those groups.
This is something of the intention of a unitarian church. They use largely judeo Christian imagery but they don’t actually GAF what your beliefs are and are generally open to not necessarily debate but definitely exploration of non-judeo Christian theologies and / or philosophies.
UU Church is how I was raised. It’s a boomer conception of religious tolerance. Actually not insane, but also very boring.
Sounds like it’s still oriented to a “spiritualist” at least though, not for someone who isn’t religious. I’m sure they’d be fine if an atheist showed up, but I don’t think I personally would want to be there. I do like learning about religions, but more from a “how has this effected humanity and changed the way they think/behave” standpoint, not from thinking that there’s anything true there.
You’re unlikely (but not impossibly unable) to reap the full benefits of that level of connection to a community completely without spirituality. There are many Hindus and shinto that are functionally atheist and I come from healthcare where atheist chaplains are actually a thing as well.
You are not separate from humanity’s history and attempting to separate yourself from it in this manner won’t by definition harm you, but will require a level of constant attention that I have not found to be worth it. It’s like trying to run the windows version of Firefox or Discord with Wine or a virtual machine just to prove you can. Just run the Linux version, or another program with the same function that is even better designed for the architecture.
I tracked my moods, bodily upkeep, and social tasks with DBT based spreadsheets for years but it eventually became exhausting. What it did do was give me a solid framework to redesign spiritual practices that work for me. Just use the software the human brain was developed alongside and use your processing power on things more useful than trying to feel smarter and more right about the universe, which is mostly just lying to yourself anyway.
Came here to say this. I attend 1-2 times a month and mine has so far taught me about breathing exercises for meditation and the shadow self from Jung. Just a group of great people also searching for community.
Sports clubs and hobby clubs for sure. In Australia we have clubs called Men’s* Sheds that are for things like woodworking, but also a place to talk about mental health - things like loneliness. (*I don’t think they’re all so exclusively Men’s sheds these days).
I play disc golf and that sometime feels like a church haha. Trying tk convince people it’s an awesome sport amd get them to try it feels like trying to convert someone 😂
Disc Golf League Night is a great way to meet people
