Does anyone else see themselves in this article?
Don’t forget the chronic depression, crippling trust issues, and being perpetually single due to said trust issues…
Listen, I’m trying to doomscroll, not read my psych eval.
Note you can doom scroll your psych eval and have the worst of both worlds!
Please don’t @ me like that.
Don’t need to read the article. Got shit from my father for using rivets when I should’ve used screws on my car. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you anything?” he said. No shit cunt, YOU didn’t.
You should have learned it before. You’re so lazy!
You should know better.
Well, you should teach better…
Right?
My dad when my mom did absolutely anything: “Noooo you can’t do that why would you bla bla bla”
My dad when my mom wants to know how to do something: “…” crickets chirping
Most useful stuff I know if because of the internet, so it’s pretty goated for that. No squeaky doors in my house, you fuckass hinges, wikihow gave me a hammer and y’all are just puny nails /s
Schools should just expand the stuff they teach imo, for cases like that, because im pretty sure there will be a lot more kids just like them
I’m not really resentful bacause of that. I just have fond memories of learning alone. It was lonely trying to relate with others what I was doing with my day, but it didn’t stop it from being fun.
Your enviroment is the issue. Change the enviroment change the person. If you are feeling a little edgy work on your great escape. Money sucks but keep your eyes peeled and take it. I got detangled before and escaped traps… I can do it again. They say you can’t but you can. They are all phoneys
For some issues that’s the case, but also wherever you go, there you are. Sometimes the solution to your problem is to change yourself in a way that enables you to thrive in the environments in which you’re most suited to thriving
Your environment is the issue.
Reminds me of one of my favorite stickers:
Can confirm.
Protip to not become a resentful adult: Vent and vent often. Keeping that shit bottled up is the starting breeding ground for most of today’s personality disorders.
Quiet resentment eventually begets external aggression.
There have been a ton of studies over the last several years that show that venting doesn’t work, and can sometimes even make things worse. Not trying to invalidate your own experience, but this probably isn’t the best advice for everyone.
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272735824000357
For me the quiet resentment has begotten a wicked dark humour, which I’m generally good with 😏
People tell me I’m hilarious all. the. time. Wish I was actually that happy.
They say the clown is often the saddest person in the room. It’s certainly true for me as well
begat*
sense of* (unless, like the former, your medical treatments are from the Renaissance)
Or just surround yourself with competent and responsible people, and shut out incompetent and irresponsible ones out of your life so you don’t have anyone to resent.
How does that happen, exactly? Asking for a friend.
You just do it. If someone is continually incompetent, stop interacting with them.
Tell me you’re < 30 without giving away the number. 🥴
I’m 44
Vent, but work to heal the underlying trauma. I’ve definitely met people with personality disorders that vent constantly, but they don’t actually work on healing the damage and developing orthopraxia. If your perception of self or others seems destructive (even if you feel it’s true) try discussing it with a professional. Maybe there’s no issue, but maybe you’ll get some tools to keep you from engaging in destructive behavior
Stop seeing me
I remember being a child and finding a book called “How To Do Nothing With No One All alone By Yourself.”
I enjoyed the book, but wondered about the people who would need that book.
that sounds like a delightful book. i wish i had it… uh…30 years ago? i had a month where disease gave me essentially solitary confinement. i ate, pooped, slept, and stared out the window until i went insane. i have not yet ventured back through that red barrier.
Feel better.
nah it’s more fun being insane
If you’re insane, then feel much, much better.
Shit I am an ad now. You might find corridors crews recent book ‘Top Ten Scary Games You Can Play In Your Head, By Yourself’ entertaining, and if you get stuck they also made a cheat book.
Was latchkey kid with add. I only move in predicability. Work, relationships friendships all work because I can predict their behavior.
And hilariously enough I’ve gravitated into being a Dominant in a D/s relationship. Because if you can control it, you can predict it. (It’s consensual)
Also… Therapy kept me from being resentful.
Grew up teaching myself, except that my childhood was traumatic. Narcissists, drug users, abandonment, etc. Grew up expecting harm from others unless I gave them what they want. Also highly sensitive to the idea of fairness and perceived rejection (neurodivergence or trauma responses).
Service top. In control, but doing what others want. Needs reassurance and an expression of desire while in control of other people.
Partner selection is a pain in the ass.
Add undiagnosed ADHD and ASD to that and you’ve got a great recipe for life full of struggle, anxiety, identity issues, bonding issues, the list goes on. You keep wondering how everyone else is so cheerful with everything that’s going on within your own life. Not to say you can’t escape it, but it is lifelong hard work.
Read the title: yeah, feels kinda true
Read the article: damn…
A lifetime of anxiety, avoidance, borderline abusive social connections, and not being able to connect with my own emotion until my mid thirties, reporting in.
Doing better these days, it’s scary to ask for help. I’ve learned to choose the right kind of friends. So now when I’m brave enough to ask, they’re available and listening.
Ah, that is why he is incompetent and resenting me openly…
I’m married to someone who had to be the adult and take care of her family (siblings and mother) starting age 11.
My wife is unstoppable. But she expects adults to be adults, because she had to figure out how to be one by herself. And that’s where the resentment comes in.
That’s how I feel. I don’t have empathy for people who are over 25 who act like children. And yet people tell me I ‘lack empathy’ for someone throwing a temper tantrum in public over some perceived slight or their hamburger having 1 less pickle they think it should.
But I just end the relationship. I can’t respect people who refuse to take responsibility for themselves. Once I realize they aren’t going to do that, I am no longer interacting with the person. And there is a significant number of people who go through life never taking responsibility for their actions and blaming other people for their mistakes. What I can’t understand is why other people like those people… but often they do because they are charming on the surface.
What kind of responsibilities? What you see as responsibilities might be unnecessary things for other person
the idea that actions have consequences.
look at ozempic. everyone loves it at first! miracle drug for weight loss! but the issue is… people go it, then go off it, and gain the weight back because they have changed nothing about their lifestyle. They have just tried to cheat the consequences of their choices rather than doing the hard work of changing their lifestyle.
so unless people plan to stay on ozempic the rest of their life… the will still be subjected to being overweight because that is what they have chosen. a responsible person chooses to chane their life style. an irresponsible person complains and whines about how hard their life is because they are fat and they can’t stop eating bad foods.
look at ozempic. everyone loves it at first! miracle drug for weight loss! but the issue is… people go it, then go off it, and gain the weight back because they have changed nothing about their lifestyle. They have just tried to cheat the consequences of their choices rather than doing the hard work of changing their lifestyle.
so unless people plan to stay on ozempic the rest of their life…
It is wild to me that a clearly chronic disease (metabolic syndrome) which suddenly has a treatment has a bunch of people advocating to stop the treatment. It like If someone nearsighted told me they could read a sign with their contacts in and I’m like cool you can see now, no more need for contacts.
No, i’m taking about people who use it to lose weight without having to diet or exercise. not diabetes patients who use it for it’s intended purpose instead of it’s side-effects.
people who use it this way are not supposed to use it long term, let alone the rest of their life. they simple see it as something to use for six months, drop the weight, and then go right back to where they were six months ago.
Yeah that was me as a kid. 1-2 siblings, parents worked 7am-6pm or later, and mom travelled a lot for work. I did all my own stuff starting at ~6yo, cooking/cleaning/laundry by 8yo, caring for my baby siblings starting at 11yo (including overnight childcare).
I don’t resent anyone for it (no cope, I think my childhood was good overall). Parents both started from absolutely zero and became very successful. Both parents were loving and supportive. But I definitely am left with the feeling that if I can’t handle something, someone else will either do it incompetently or not think to do it at all.
That attitude has not yielded lots of friends or the support I probably need. People assume I don’t need anything and I don’t know how to ask.
My parents were both raised the same way and also turned out that way.
Sadly, my wife’s parents did not make any effort to make her life better. Her dad is just a terrible person (abusive, neglectful, narcissistic, all the classics) and her mom is narcissistic, angry, hateful, and worst of all, helpless. She can walk around and do things but… She won’t. She will instead demand to be helped, fed, dressed, bathed, she needs the tv turned on, and she expects you to read her mind. When we were dating I remember her mom literally yelling at her for a week because my wife grabbed the wrong flavor of ramen noodles. She wasn’t told which flavor to get.
My wife is not only unstoppable, she is a saint. I can’t believe she married me.
your wife’s expectations are so low that your basic respect and competent and communication probably make you seem like a saint to her.
I’d kill to meet a partner who was just… a decent human being. I have had no such luck. Everyone I have dated lies, manipulates, and acts like a toddler when it comes to emotional stuff. They left zero room in the relationship for me to have my own life. Being single for the past 6 years has been amazing because I have actually been able to achieve things without the dead weight of a needy and useless partner who contributes nothing to the relationship in terms of adult responsibilities.
my parents weren’t that bad but they were similar in their helplessness and refusal to take responsibility for anything and their blaming of everyone else.
But I definitely am left with the feeling that if I can’t handle something, someone else will either do it incompetently or not think to do it at all.
In my many decades of experience, the only people who can do it competently are going to charge a fuck of a lot of money for their time, and even with an expensive contractor, it’s 60:40 they’ll do it right.
Mechanics will replace the entire cooling loop and sensors in a car to make an extra grand. HVAC techs will charge you an extra Benjamin to replace a contractor along with the capacitor, just in case it was a problem.
