I’ve been internet-diagnosed with autism plenty of times, but the one time I went to get evaluated, they said I didn’t have “it.”

But if it’s a spectrum with different combinations of different traits at different levels of intensity, maybe a diagnosis is irrelevant and what matters is what your constellation of traits actually is, regardless of an official diagnosis (which, let’s face it, is probably highly subjective outside of some constellations–that is to say, with a long enough list of psychologits, I could probably get a dx).

Personally, for me, what this means is I can look to autistic literature to see what resonates with me without worrying about the fact that I don’t share many of the hard markers for autism. For instance, my investment in the truth often conflicts with social niceties even though I can read people’s emotions. I can see myself as an unofficially atypical person in a lot of ways.

I’ll leave my resonsances in the comments below. Feel free to share yours.

  • schipelblorp@sh.itjust.worksOP
    0·
    1 day ago

    My constellation:

    • almost physical pain at small talk
    • primarily socializes over the internet since high school
    • a big believer in systems and rules
    • immediately pointing out flaws without thinking about social repercussions (this one is totally sinking me in job interviews; seems like every interview I somehow manage to criticize someone or their organization indirectly; you’d think people would be interested in feedback–they are not, they want praise at all times)
    • career disaster due to my not being able to play politics or even be interested in having relationships with people just because they can help my career
    • kind of brainy hobbies–languages, music
    • I literally have no real friends (but apparently 40% of the US doesn’t either, and the remaining 60% are probably in denial)

    I will also add that I think I would like a diagnosis because then the ADA would at least offer me some protection at work, but ultimately, going to a job where everyone hates you is usually not worth the paycheck, but an ADA violation at least slows the clock on getting fired.