I think it’s because she could see his erection.
c/bigdickproblems
I have never been in a mixed sauna. I don’t think I could do it.
It is like releasing a hungry bear into seal exhibit. The seal has no where to run and idiots are scream “oh my God why would he do this”
If that helps your anxieties: having gone to a mixed gym sauna for a long time, I have never ever seen anything remotely inappropriate. People just take the sauna, that is all. If there are any groups coming together, they may chat between themselves, but you’ll barely ever hear a stranger even talking to you.
Gym saunas specifically have enough surveillance and multiple controlled chokepoints where perpetrator would be immediately stopped and given straight to the authorities. So, one should be incredibly idiotic to even attempt something like that. In this sense, it is no less safe than any other monitored public facility.
As a personal argument, a lot of predatory behaviors in men stems specifically from something being too limited and restricted. For people coming regularly to the mixed sauna, even those naked ones in some European places, a naked woman is just another naked person. When it becomes mundane, it stops having anything sexual attached to it.
In the US there are not mixed gender saunas. Mostly a European thing and even then not all of them.
European example shows it’s perfectly fine, though. And I don’t think American culture is so much different it cannot be imported one way or another.
Personally, I find it very convenient since I go to the gym with my partner, and we can hang out together not only while training, but also relaxing after. This also helps coordinate our actions, so we don’t sit and wait for each other.
That said, separate gender saunas should exist too for people who prefer them. They’re fine, too!
You focus on your conveniences rather than the expressed discomforts of others.
Not at all. I’m not saying separate gender saunas should be abolished, I merely make a case for the alternative.
When me and my partner chose a gym to go to, a mixed sauna was among the positives. Neither of us would like it if it were separate.
Should you choose one, you’re free to stick to those with separate options. It’s alright. I simply addressed the concern of potential sexual abuse happening in mixed saunas - on my watch, there were exactly zero instances of any inappropriate behavior. If this doesn’t help - so be it, separate options never went anywhere. Enjoy what brings you comfort and safety.
Men* shouldn’t act like hungry bears. Society at large shouldn’t have to assume there’s a significant risk that an an unrestrained man will act like a hungry bear. That includes in mixed saunas.
The fear of being a trapped seal is, currently, fairly well-justified. It would be nice to change that.
*: No persons should, but the problems are mostly cis men, like myself.
You’re leaving out some details.
Sneaky sneaky there Mr mountain top
You’re leaving out some details.
Well, yes, I usually am, but I thought I included sufficient, relevant detail. If not, please educate me or let me know where I can educate myself; I would like to do better in the future.
Mr mountain top
My inference here is that you are implying I find myself morally, ethically, or spiritually superior. I do not. I’ve made bad decisions that have hurt people in the past. I don’t have any particular insight. And, I have been very lucky, so my experience being marginalized or exploited is limited.
A few hurt feelings are no big deal. “Oh I’ve hurt people” unless you own up to some egregious offense you are probably over estimating your ability to impact the world.
The details you are leaving out is the groups of people who do the majority of the abuse. It isn’t “cis men” it is people with a certain entitlement. Usually with power or cultural backgrounds unfamiliar with feminism. Let alone modern feminism.
own up to some egregious offense
Well, I’m not coping to it here, but I’d say it is worse than “hurt feelings”.
you are probably over estimating your ability to impact the world
Definitely this, too. Thinking I’m more impactful than I am is a source of some of my own suffering.
C’mon fam. I thought we were having fun trolling. Don’t make this serious. We’re all the source of our own suffering. Yada-yada existential crybaby crap.
I hope all your basic needs and family are met.
I think this has nothing to do with it being a sauna and more about “Girl with real good body, tits and butt” which means OP was already staring and moaning under his breath.
People like this don’t realize how much creepiness they ooze without saying a word.
for sure. i like to stare into nothing as i think my deep thoughts, and it skeeves people out a lot especially within a 20ft radius.
once you’re 21ft away though, it’s totally cool and uncreepy.
I also wonder, if he had said something normal immediately after entering it probably would have been fine. Imagine sitting in silence next to someone for 10 minutes and then they ask you a question. That’s weirder to me.
Heh I miss saunas. I grew up with them. Perfect bonding experience. As in stfu and meditate.
Are there places without saunas?
Every major city in America has a spa or even gym that have saunas or stream rooms. Or mountain retreats…
Well there is one nearby me at the ymca but … the membership is like a $100 a month. I can’t afford that right now.
She probably noticed him OGLING HER based on the description he just gave
Saunas are sacred shit. It’s like a gay bar, if you want to not be seen as a pest you 100% must stop acting like a moid when you enter. And some people just don’t want to be spoken to
So I have to act like a woman when I’m in a sauna? Any advice??
Get unwanted attention from men
how does one not act like a moid, what are common non-moid behaviors?
Well, the common behaviours are the shit you’d associate with the stereotype primitive men: reducing people to objects of sexual attraction, being oblivious to boundaries, exploiting vulnerable situations.
In this case, you just don’t stare at the other sauna guests. You look for a spot, preferably away from others, sit down, focus on your own breathing and all that and leave everyone else alone to do the same.
To take advantage of the fact that someone is naked and exposed to ogle them, then strike up a conversation they didn’t ask for (because sauna isn’t for chatting, it’s for sweating) when they already feel vulnerable and exposed, violates the trust in mutual privacy that makes shared saunas possible in the first place.
In the context of the greenext it would have been being able to sit in silence with a stranger in a leisure setting without needing to make the situation about themself. That’s an extreme situation though because sauna.
Usually it’s just reading people to know how far you should take a simple “how’s it going?”. The best advice that doesn’t apply to most people but someone should probably hear is not everything is an opportunity to shoot your shot, not that this is what happened.
I would bet it would have been fine to talk with someone. It’s not ok to hit on them. Obviously you need to read the room for all of it though. Maybe they don’t want to chat at all, or maybe they are open to flirting, but if you can’t read it well then probably STFU and keep your eyes off others.
“Oh, yeah, let’s read minds with the mind-reading powers that obviously all real and good humans have and should have” ahh comment.
I have a question, if i don’t watch the person how do i read the room to understand if they wanna talk? I kinda have problems with such stuff
(I just wanna say that i never have been in a sauna, i doubt i would talk but i guess that of we are in the same room.with such heat for more than 10 minutes, talking would help enduring)
In Germany everyone is naked in the sauna. It’s a rule. Ok, you might wear a sauna hat, but that’s it.
Of all the places to wear a hat, why a sauna?
It’s a sauna hat, where else would you wear it?
If there’s ever been any logic that is sound, it is this one.
Apparently how long you can spend in the sauna depends on how long it takes your brain to heat up. Insulating your head by wrapping a towel around it means you can stay in the sauna longer.
If you’re bald. The head is the most temperature sensitive area. It gets unpleasant too soon if you don’t have hair.
Too keep your head cooler, it originates from the high humidity slavic banya culture.
As high humidity saunas, warm your skin up faster than dry saunas. You’ll not last as long, primarily due to your head overheating. So wearing a thick hat, will insulate your head from the temperature and humidity of the room
Be careful not to wear it inside out. It’ll reverse the effect!
Is it like a top hat or a beret?
Like a pointed felt hat
I’m sorry, are you telling me you get to wear a wizard hat in the sauna?!?
(I apologize for my American ignorance)
It’s more like a dwarf hat but I guess a wizard hat would be tolerated as well
The real magic is the nudity though. It’s quite liberating and everyone gets accepted.
I’m not sure I (or most of my fellow Americans) can truly relate – I once had a Finnish friend who explained how kind of frequent and understated getting nude was for things like saunas, bathing dogs, and other tasks you just generally don’t want getting clothes wet for. Over here there’s such a huge culture of shame around our bodies that even being naked inside your own home can be an issue.
It’s not a big step from swimming. You just see that everyone has a body. Some are old, some are young shaved, some are not, some are skinny, some buff, some fat, some have scars, some have tattoos. The breasts and genitals are also just different for everyone and just another factor in the mix that is usually hidden. It’s just different and you notice everyone has them. There is no judging table.
getting nude was for things like… bathing dogs
Eh?
So you don’t get soapy dog water on your clothes. Rinse yourself off as well as the dog, and save yourself the need to change clothes, or be really careful while washing to stay dry.
Depends on the dog, of course.
Maybe he wanted the room to himself. No awkward girl there
my cat likes hanging out with me in the bathroom after I shower.
that’s all i got going.
She was absolutely looking to leave as soon as this guy schlubbed in to look over her “good body, tits, and butt”. The attempt at conversation was just the opening she needed to escape.
TIL tits and butt are not part of the body.
It’s not difficult.
Shut the door. Shut up. Sit down and keep your mouth shut.
You are allowed to aks “löyly?” and yell “Shut the door!” at appropriate times, but otherwise just shut the fuck up.
That’s not really how it works in the US. People talk so much in the steam room/sauna, that you’re pretty much expected to have a conversation when you step inside of either one. As an introvert it’s very anxiety-inducing.
Isn’t that just an US thing in general? I’ve understood that everybody (especially in the south) always wants to have a conversation no matter if you’re strangers or not
Over here in the Netherlands we just ignore eachother and when you go to buy groceries you wait for them to tell you the total and than you give them the money. No need to have a whole conversation and I love it that way, i don’t think i would survive the “southern hospitality” i always read about
As a 38-year-old who has lived in the US for most of my life, that hasn’t been true for over 15 years now. Strangers don’t talk to each other in public anymore like we all did in the 90s and 2000s; everybody’s staring at their screens in their own little social media world, minding their own business. No one even makes eye contact with strangers anymore, let alone speak to them.
It’s really depressing and makes it next to impossible to form friendships in adulthood…
Saunas in the US are virtually never nude though either.
I’ve never even crossed the borders of Idaho and even I know not to talk in a sauna.
That’s not really true, or it might be in some parts of the world.
However, in the land of the Sauna, that is the place to talk. It’s where you ask someone to be your best man. It’s where you ask your boss a raise. It’s where you agree on a business deal, or maybe to set up a monopoly with your competitors. And you best abide by these words: Never enter a Sauna sober, nor without a drink.
Never been to a womens Sauna, but I expect them to do something naughty as they don’t allow us guys there…
You can talk private if you have a private sauna.
In a public one, nobody wants to listen to others small talk.
No idea about public saunas you’ve visited. Never seen one like that.
This is why I only do big talk in the sauna.
Sauna basics from KAJ : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSh7U3m9KgA
I’m imagining this as a sitcom In which the scene cuts after anon’s mouth opens, but just before words come out.
People talk in the sauna? I thought that was a nono
It seems the rest of the world has decided that saunas need to be quiet, when the actual Finnish thing is a social event. You have a beer, sometimes a sausage on the oven. I don’t know what the point of a stfu wellness sauna in a gym is.
Its social with people you know everywhere. Randos in a public sauna stay quite
People have told me and my friend to be silent twice before when we were talking in a respectful quiet tone, not even addressing anyone else.
At my local it’s like a fucking pub in there. Yapping away. I wish they would all just shit up and sweat silently
That sounds terrible. Saunas look like serene places, not for places to talk about… anything.
They should balance it out with quiet hours or something. Or maybe a silent sauna and a chatty sauna
Or maybe a silent sauna and a chatty sauna
That’s good idea, IMO.
In places I’ve been to, yeah.
I’m not interested in making small talk while trying to unlock all my chakras points and reach my final form.
She was polite enough not to storm out when a dude entered the women’s sauna.
Mixed gender saunas exist
And mixed baths exist in Japan, but women don’t really go there anymore.
They are the norm in most of europe.
“Classic line. That is just a great line. Gotta manoeuvre more dates into saunas”
They could have at least used the pic of Nancy in the sauna
