100 extra foreskins? That’s quite the tip!
Badum tsss.
The Philistines on the battlefield watch as David goes about his work with great enthusiasm.
Religion of peace lol
King was probably like “Holy shit he actually did it. I’d better give him my daughter before he cuts my dick off”.
In all seriousness, there is some fucked shit in the Bible.
Rationalism it was: instead of bothering with heads they proved the number with foreskins. Much lighter and safer to store for longer time.
Historically, heads weren’t all that common. Usually only for specific bounties where you’d need to show it was the right person.
For more general things, scalps, ears, and fingers were all far more common.
I mean think about it. It’s gruesome enough on its own. But, fondling dead guy dick is… especially unpleasant. (And they probably stank.)
“Especially unpleasant”
After the first five they wouldn’t even flinch. No different than taking a scalp, or the head. A veteran warrior would already have done so much worse, this would be an easy task.
Especially unpleasant for XXI century guy? Yes. Might have been totally indifferent 2000 years ago, though.
Yeah, they were used to stink.
I think the reasoning is that since Jews lacked foreskins but their neighbors the philistines had them, bringing the foreskins showed that it was not Jews you went out to kill. It’s like if you wanted someone to kill 100 rattler snakes and as proof you bring 100 rattlers as that’s their distinctive body part.
It’s not like it… They litterally brought the rattlers
No, he literally brought foreskins. That’s like bringing rattlers.
So we actually have found some logic in Bible? Unexpected…
I mean, the “logic” that led to the Israelites not having foreskin to begin with isn’t exactly rock solid.
yeah but how else are you going to give hepatitis to a baby?
the rabbi also gave them herpes once …
suck its dick?
The Catholics way?
(Some) Jews do that as part of the circumcision ceremony—Metzitzah B’Peh.
Here’s another fun one, from
Awkward Moments (Not Found In Your Average) Children’s Bible - Vol. 2: Don’t blame us - it’s in the Bible!
What I read was two woman saying, “There are no other men around and we’re useless unless we make babies.” Guess it’s both? 🤷🏼
31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. 32 Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.”
There are limits to what people will do to help their friends get laid. We haven’t found them yet, though…
Search said it was this one, but I’m not 100% on that.
Edit: Replied to wrong comment on accident.
Looks plausible.
I looked on Amazon and that appears to be it.
Did David even think about THE SMELL!?
wdym?
A bag of dickskins is gonna stink…
Yours maybe
Who are you to assume what happened to my theoretical foreskin?
Well that’s fucked up
So was this kinda like pork rinds back then?
Calamari
Only when they died in boiling oil.
The kind of biblical story which should never have been illustrated.
I have to know what book this is…
Fucking done. Bought all 3 volumes…
https://www.abebooks.com/Awkward-Moments-Found-Average-Childrens-Bible/32537304145/bd
OMG this is awesome. Thank you!
heads up, OP tried to reply to you but replied to the wrong comment
Ah, so that’s why that comment seemed out of place.
Sometimes I leave it, if the comment is general enough that maybe people won’t notice. Or I’ll edit the comment to make more sense.
The fun ones is when I comment on the wrong post, like I click the post above or below and make my comment.
The bigger problem is that the person you should have replied to doesn’t get the notification
I believe it’s called “The Bible”
In France they call it Le Bible
Because of the metric system?
Look at the big brain on WhiskyTangoFoxtrot!
Le metric system
The Old Testament is a treasure trove of such things
Times were WILD
It seems relevant to point out that the “Philistines” were Palestinians
And that they are a semitic people as well, so killing them would be anti semitic
Ya. Thats why Palestinians call Palestine ‘Falasteen’ nowadays. Its the same place with the same name.
In terms of region and name, sure, but probably not in terms of distinct ethnicity and culture. Philistia was most likely a mix of Greek immigrants and Canaanites, but they got totally absorbed by the Babylonian empire – there’s no direct cultural inheritance.
Fair point, but I think it’s a relevant historical mirror. Israeli government references the fight against these Palestinians constantly, in the context of genociding the current day ones.
Israeli government references the fight against these Palestinians constantly
I didn’t know this! I feel my context makes that even more absurd; even if a historical feud justified their actions in the slightest, which it obviously doesn’t, it’s not even the same cultural or ethnic group.
He didn’t even haggle.
