I want people to say they’ve never heard of me

I never wanted to be anything, and I was exceptionally successful at that so far. :/

I care more about accomplishing and learning things. I’m me and as long as I’m not an asshole, I don’t see a reason to try to be someone I’m not.

I am, by nature, a naive and eager person. I am also on the autism spectrum

I have spent my entire life trying to feel included, trying to see the best in people and yearning for friends and good times

I’ve used my weird sense of humor, my hyper spirit, and my childlike energy, at about as late as the age of 23, to try to amuse others. And for a bit maybe I did

But now, I wish to be different. I wish to be reserved, more brooding for a change. I wish I could be less chipper and SpongeBobesque, because it’s done nothing but embarrass or hurt me

I’m turning 25 now, growing out my first beard. It’s been a couple of years since I abruptly stopped acting that way. Life feels dull now, but I still feel like if I can just prove to the world that I’m not weak and childlike, then maybe I can win in some small way

I want to be free from social expectations of who I should be.

I want to be me. I am here. People should describe me carefully.

Strive toward being the pest person possible. It’s a CIP: continuous improvement process.

While having 5 minutes, think about what worked well and how you caused that. If something did bit work out, try finding out why and what you can change, take a bite, try it differently, reassess.

Traveling? Bring a list for packing. Important: at the end of the journey, make a note of the things you didn’t use so you avoid carrying more in the future. Cooking? Weigh out how much salt you use, think whether you like the taste, adjust, take note. Gardening? Take not which plants wen where and when. Take not then have a good long thought in two months to see if everything worked. Especially observe what worked suboptimally and try differently. And so on. Something something madness is doing the same thing over a d over again…

Wise and kind! It’s an eternal WIP but there have definitely been some developments, especially regarding my mental health and ideology/understandings, and overall maturity… I think my neurodivergence, combined with childhood trauma, created some hills I had to climb, and it has also shaped me irreversibly, but I find I have enough free will to make accumulating changes.

My family and friends often come to me either to have a shoulder to cry on or for advice, even my co-workers (some of them are my friends now as well) will open up, expecting what my vibes are selling, I guess, and I always find it endearing (couple of times it’s been shocking and kinda made me panic as in “what do I say here?!” but that’s how it goes sometimes). I think people find me at least reliable and understanding (which does not discount me being weird AF in some areas,sometimes annoying or even, rarely, hurtful, and that’s the whole package), which is not bad already.

I’m already me. why would I want to be anyone else?

seems a bit conceited to me, to want to be something you’re not. leave that to the actors and the actresses, just be yourself. its perfectly okay to be yourself and nothing else… after all, it just takes some time, little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride. everything, everything, is gonna be alright (alright). above all else, just never let them distract you from that time in nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet into the announcers table.

I’m pretty close to being who I can bother to be. I should be better at visiting family, I should be better at talking to my friends, but anything involving people exhausts me.

I don’t want people to have glowing opinions or me or even be overly impressed. What I do want them to describe me with is that I cared. Maybe not for them, but in general. “He’s quiet and detached, but his actions showed he cares in his own way.”

I spend time around holidays creating little gifts for my dentist, doctor’s office, co-workers, and other places I visit. Why? Partly because I want to make a difference. I want to make an impact. Did my little gift brighten someone’s day? If it did then it was worth it. If it didn’t then better luck next year.

A selfish part of me wants it to be an expectation. That if I ever die or move on they might wonder why I stopped. That I might be remembered for it. I guess it’s just my way to leave my mark on the lives of those around me.

No one is stopping me from becoming a different person if I wanted to so the fact that I’m not taking dramatic steps to change indicates that I’m probably roughly where I want to be.

I do admire people like Andrew Camarata for their work ethic, but again - nothing is stopping me from doing the same, yet I don’t, so maybe I just want the results, not what it actually takes to get there.

My role model is Snufkin character from the Moomin cartoon/anime. A quiet, humble, independent professional.

I guess I always thought of myself as someone who never gives up. It’s a blessing and a curse, I’ve achieved all my goals in life so far but I can be perceived as someone who is not very empathetic - because I tend to expect others to have the same attitude and don’t give them the support they need.

Hopefully on the whole people can understand things from my perspective - but I’m too self reliant to care what others think most of the time…

I just want to be authentically me, and I think im pretty good at that :3

Hm, I want to be the stoic guy who is reliable. I think with the reliability I’m quite close, the stoicism - hm - yeah depending on how close something is I sometimes get really affected and can’t stay stoic, so still some work to be done.