• 8 Posts
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Joined 5 months ago
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Cake day: May 11th, 2026

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  • It does feel like that sometimes. I notice that when there is a moment where it would make sense to be angry, I instead just feel headache or stomachache, but don’t really feel any emotion.

    I don’t know whether I experienced any trauma. I just don’t remember much. Especially emotional things I don’t remember.

    In fact, I had a conversation with my father recently. And I remember we got emotional about something. But right after the conversation, I can’t remember anymore what we talked about.






  • It’s strange. I’ve been in a state of shutdown and disconnect for most of my life. Only recently with lot’s of meditation, I’ve reached a point where I (sometimes) am aware of my own needs and emotions.

    When I look at other people I’m amazed by the capacities they have.

    • They can think about their needs and desire while having a conversation
    • When sitting still and not doing anything, they automatically start thinking about a bunch of things they still want to do or things that happened in the past
    • They can hold their preferences in their head in any circumstance
    • At any given time they have an idea of their priorities or needs.
    • They feel it automatically when they have a certain need, like water, food, connection, etc…

    I suppose this is normal for most people? But for me it has been only a very recent experience, and most of the time I still can’t

    An example of this is meditation. When I sit down to meditate and focus on my breathing, and do this for 1-2 hours, I don’t experience any thoughts about future plans or things that happened before.

    However, with consistency, this seems to be happening occasionally for me now from time to time.

    A few years ago just talking was already pretty hard for me. Nowadays I manage, but it’s mostly talking in a way that I’ve learned from patterns in how other people talk, and i’m not necessarily able to communicate my own state of mind to other people that easily.




  • I really like these kind of games where you have to figure out things more by yourself and not have everything clearly laid out for you already.

    In the past I definitely liked to have more guidance, so I think the modern AAA design can be good for some people. But I also noticed that my own capabilities were declining the more I leaned on these mechanics and indicators.

    When playing these older games, It’s suddenly as if a part of my brain that I neglected starts working again. And it’s amazing what it can do. Remembering small relevant details and navigating a game-world without maps or markers.

    A bit like driving with GPS all the time vs having the ability to ‘feel’ that you are going in the right direction. (especially if it’s a place you have been before or close to places you’ve been before)

    It’s a great feeling when your brain shows what it’s capable of.

    Does anybody know more games like thief that have such design?