You shouldn’t try making chemistry jokes anyways, all the good ones argon

Everybody gangsta till the donuts start hissin

Y-M-C-A! It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!

Quadricycle > Quike

Riding the bus down the boulevard, and the place was pretty packed!
Couldn’t get a seat so I had to stand, with the perverts in the back!
It was smelling like a locker room, there was junk all over the floor!
We’re already packed in like sardines, and we’re stopping to pick up more!

This one’s called Just Fucking Use HTML

How?

Use Ublock Origin. Go to settings and check “Disable Javascript”.

Some sites may not work, so you might need to re-enable for those ones.

Other sites have Cloudflare CAPTCHAs, and you need to enable JS to get past them, but once you get through, you can turn on the JS blocker again.

Time crystals

Cigarette, cigarillo, and cigar imply the existence of a much larger cigarrón, like this one

Nine rings for the mortal men doomed to die?

Exclamations I used to say:
“Big black bats!” - something to do with Batman or something?
“Great Qubits!” - I liked quantum physics, because I didn’t understand it

Insults I say now:
“Eat a (some kind of weapon)!” - Fancy way to tell someone “kill yourself”. Like “Eat a grenade”, “Eat a gun”
Random syllables that sound like Klingon mixed with Slavic and Hebrew - I speak none of those languages, but still say stuff like “Vzer krakh!” when I get annoyed by popups.

Breaking the “non-religous” constraint, because i want to:
“Jesus Christ in a tank!” - In response to something very surprising that I can’t remember

Saving the best for last: Captain Haddock interjections.
“Ten thousand thundering typhoons!”
“Billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles!”
“Addlepated lumps of anthracite!”
“Antediluvian bulldozer!”
“Pompous popinjay!”
“Pockmark!”

If she used sweet lemons, the whores would steal them

I’ve got a relevant SMBC for that

And you can’t forget the BIOS password

It’s an init system for an init system.

Fox McFoxface

Or a T. Rex flying an F-14

Kate is a KDE app that comes close, it’s what I use. NotepadQQ seems to be what you’re looking for, but it’s not actively maintained.

That’s why I call it skunk cabbage