“Sir, we’ve found something… interesting. He’s apparently downloaded over 600 images of frogs to his computer. Specifically, one cartoon frog over and over again. We’re thinking it may be some sort of covert code system.”

It almost has to be Alec Baldwin doing Trump at the no-show debate. Recent complications aside, his impression has always been the definitive one.

Vance also said he was “outraged at Trump’s rhetoric, and I worry most of all about how welcome Muslim citizens feel in their own country. And there have always been demagogues willing to exploit the people who believe crazy shit. What seems different to me is that the Republican party offers nothing that’s as attractive as the demagogue.”

Exploit the people who believe crazy shit. Exactly what Vance is doing now that he’s sided with the demagogue.

Vance is even worse than a narcissist. He knows better and chooses to be evil for his own self-interest. I get why Trump likes him. He understands a life being driven by self-interest. And he knows Vance will burn everything down to advance he and Trump’s interests.

The past is gone and misremembered. The future is a projection of your imagination. The present is all that is real. Be depressed there.

Biden is basically the cryptkeeper, but there’s a good president in there when he’s not losing his train of thought.

Trump was supposed to be weaker, but he’s doing his homework and memorizing answers. His freedom is on the line. Trump has been underestimated, and as things stand, he’s probably going to win.

Zelenskyy: At oh eight hundred hours, Kyiv time, the Romulan Empire formally declared war against Russia. Their cloaking technology is already being integrated into our drones. So I lied, I cheated, I bribed men to cover the crimes of other men. I am an accessory to murder. But most damning thing of all, I think I can live with it. And if I had to do it all over again, I would. The CIA was right about one thing. A guilty conscience is a small price to pay for the safety of Ukraine, so I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it. Computer, erase that entire personal log.

All this time and energy wasted on chatbots, cancer research, and what have you. What we need is a universal robotic liver, so that we can all stay drunk all the time with no consequences.

Fun Civil War fact: Lee was absent from class at West Point the day they discussed not fighting uphill. He skipped class to participate in a drinking contest with none other than a young Ulysses S. Grant.

Some go as far as to define themselves as ‘pornosexuals,’ people with a sexual preference for porn over real-life sex.”

Y’all motherfuckers need Jesus.

The Ukrainian military has gotten so creative with what they’ve had available. I can’t wait to see what they do with all those F16s.

Slava Ukraini

Spend millions to advertise bragging about the thousands you didn’t give employees.

The cruelty is the point. It’s all a game to them.

A bad economy and uncertain future make people very afraid. It’s tempting to stick your head in the sand, blame all your problems on a specific demographic, then trust dear leader will punish the people that made you scared.

It’s completely divorced from reality, but reality sucks right now. People are scared. They’re taking the blue pill to feel better and pretend the horror all around them isn’t happening. They won’t max out their credit cards and become homeless. Dear Leader will fix things before that happens.

Ah, the duality of womanhood. Should she be the victim of a pedophile or a sexual plaything for 50 dudes? Those are clearly the only two options.

This Christofascist shit is getting out of control. On what planet is a woman staying with her abuser a good thing? What do you think is going to happen to her child if she stays?

If a pregnant woman is wanting a divorce, you can be certain of two things: 1) there’s a reason for it, and 2) that reason is none of your fucking business. The party of small government, ladies and gentlemen.

Bernie: Here’s a bill that will help literally everyone. People waste less of their lives at work, and productivity goes up massively for the corporate overlords. There is no downside here for anyone.

Everyone: Shut up, hippy.

“But if I keep sending more wheat to the dragon, I’ll get to be a dragon one day. They told me so on the Internet.”

I blinded a cyclops and got stuck with it.

The secret ingredient is crime legislative, judicial, and regulatory capture.

Buttigieg scared the shit out of me at first, but now that the world has gotten so crazy, maybe the McKinsey Manchurian candidate needs a second look. He would definitely get things done.