Whenever I’m asked to fill out a survey, I always just copy and paste the entire text of Dante’s Inferno from Project Gutenberg.

One is a goofy pop culture icon from the early 2000s with a reputation for kindness and professionalism, and the other is Ellen DeGeneres.

I long to be out there, with my brothers, waging war against the Empire

Oh hi Mark 1:15

As long as the slugs are slowly loaded manually by a bunch of servitors.

If strapping tank treads to a church isn’t peak military competence, I don’t know what is.

I’m currently reading The Expanse, and at one point a character mentions checking in on the family aggregator his cousin set up to help everyone keep track of who’s living where.

Dude spun up a private Lemmy instance for his family. The future is now!

Nah, that’s too realistic for The Onion. It needs to be something like, ‘Pandemonium Ensues After Trump Utters First Coherent Sentence.’

What we need is an ad blocker that replaces all ads with turtles

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Is kickass

I was laid off from the games industry. Please delete your pirated copies so I can come back.

"Even in death I still serve…

…you delicious food"

Military aircraft? Please. That’s obviously an Unmanned Amphibian Projectile.

Much that once was is lost…

Regulators, queer up!