today is awful, parents is toxic, sensory overload due fcking mom cleaning whole house, every fcking weekend, i got stress aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, i got bad throughts again… (such as diy euthanasia), i just cant handle toxic environment which area is 17,098,246 km2 (actually more but there more complex)

maybe just somehow cut off parents and just live hikkiko internet life, but i still lonely i want love care attention etc, i wanna cat mommy which would be care me

its me!!! again meomwoemwomorm mprmprm :3333333

i never mentioning autism/adhd to doctors, because they will jsut laugh and said that i schizo like they did with my transness, however, i’ve never mentioned transness too, just my mom was put me in this fcking system,

they was patholizing even my talking style, at that moment it was slow, sad, quite, they dont like every trait in me, and yeah transness

i was all life weirdo kid, and they “onset at 12yo, set phone password, started growing hair”

i just avoid psychiatry system, also aaaaaaaaa i cant trauma dump again toooooooo, it was insane

to fix everything in me, like transness, weirdness, they bump me with antipsychotics and i got damage from them(muscle motor problems), also cptsd lol

there the unfun https://piefed.blahaj.zone/c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone/p/833874/my-brain-was-fucked-by-doctors-thanks-you-doooctoor

yay

idk my psycho said i have autistic traits but not enough for ASD, but the problem, is my insane cencorship with him, and quite messed up history before, and a lot of doctors hate self-diagnosts and overall neurodiversity, here they usually put instead schizo for me(+ im trans + adhd)

but awwtistic awwdhd explains my life a lot, and bullying from childhood a lot(+gender nonconformy), i have a lot of traits, weirdness, etc

i feel disable as hell lol

transmasc rule

for meeeee!!! meomwoemowmorm mprpmrpmrpmrpmpmr :333 uwauwuuw nayyayyayy mmprmprmprmm awwawawawawaaawawa aawwwwww

for meow mmmmeow awsaproapor uwuauwe nyayayy priprprprpr aauwuwuwuauuuwa wuauwu owo xoxo :33

pharmacology diving thru adhd hyperfocus and autism obession, also finding good ways to solve problems with muscle shit(i still idk what name applies here, maybe dystonia or just neuroleptic syndrome), it seems get better when understand more the fcking loop, today i got pretty good feel, yesterday was shit, actually sensory overloads making me worse,

the mechanism which i think its, its just overdeveloped instinct due to trauma, and hyperstress periods (2024 comingout, and wrong hormone in my body), any light trigger brain process as danger, and activating body armoring and survelliance regime, actually the periods have increased sweating, and stress, and … increased sensory sentivity(warning loopback), more irritable, etc, also post forced-taked antipsychotic problem too so cptsd which from chemicals and from external pressure, the meds are useless, i tried muscle relaxants got tolerance very very fast, any other option have addiction potential and still tolerance risk, and risk of getting worse, since in short period of time in 2024 i got forced bumped 15+ different substances overall, which acts on CNS, but before 2024 i dont had any problems and maximum ibuprofen for headache

actually i have theory what could help longterm

parents are sooooooososososo annoying toxic assholes which inst cute at all, aaaaaaaaaaaaa its awful awful awful, making me nervous

other than this shit

enjoying new headphones, sososososo cool soooo perfect for sensory, also fun music

wanna cute catgirls around me aaaaaaaaaaaa

sososo real

me

why ppl in this line area, sosososoosoo, weird, i was once time had friend from donetsk and its just putin licking, they brainwashed as fck?

transnistrian ruble
hellllllll

we need make it trans-occupied :3333333 МЯМЯМУММУМММЯМУМЯМУМ мямумум ммоморрм пр транснистровье, with trans ruble maybe tuble?

https://github.com/C24Be/AS_Network_List, this repo give me idea make a script which generating a routes

as i understand i can do by one subnet separatly but the problem that there are 1000+ subnets, maybe i dont know some feature to load an ipset file also uguguhguhg isnt parsing 1000+ subnets are load on cpu?

oh wait, the girl that actually love me, came to my bed check me, its my smol kitty mary!!! sadly no human love me, maybe because i cat too but they trying to see human in me, i just a kitty trapped in human body and worse society

very me, heheheh mrprmrpmrp

aaaa i just dont workout at all, i soft girlie, maximum walks

but last days my workout was aaaaaaa drill aaaaaaa engineering some stuff

i use (selfhosted) vpn too, its works, but without doesnt thank you cencorship

maybe something wrong with yours

дак конечно, нами замечено подобное ранее

у нас во всем так скамят лоооол

melroeowolaoaowoemmrpepep mroepp saoowoqoaoowo apapaomwmqm