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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • fodderoh@lemmy.worldtoAutism@lemmy.world•It's all my fault...
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    10 months ago

    I know you are not looking for advice or affirmation or anything, but wanted to share my own experience all the same.

    I’ve been married for 15 years to someone who deals with depression. I used to look at her depression and think If I could just eliminate the triggers, then she won’t be depressed. I understand now that isn’t how it works. My wife gets depressed because she has depression. If I eliminate this trigger or that trigger, her brain just finds something else. And there will always be something else. Because it’s not really about the so-called triggers. It’s about her depression.

    Your sister isn’t depressed because of anything you did. She is depressed because she has depression. The things you listed are just the things her depression latched on to this time. If those things hadn’t happened, she would still be depressed, her brain just would have found different reasons. None of that helps with you feeling guilty about the things she said. But I wanted to say it anyway.




  • If the roads are truly highways, you will want to check the laws where you are to confirm if it is legal to ride your bike on those roads. Typically, bikes are not allowed on highways. Regardless, you may want to see if there is an alternate route available. Riding on high speed roads with moderate to heavy traffic is not something I like to do if there is a different option available.

    As someone else suggested, a gravel bike may be a good option. Personally I would avoid an e-bike. Nothing wrong with them, but if the goal is to get exercise, then why get a bike that is designed to minimize the amount of work you have to do? It will be tougher in the beginning while you get used to it, but once you do, you’ll be fine.

    By far, the single most valuable resource available to new riders is a good local bike store. Find one and talk to them about what you’re trying to do. They’ll be able to make recommendations that are right for you. They’ll also be familiar with the roads in your area and be able to offer good advice about potential routes.