First fools gold and now this!?

King: So that’s the plan. I see we have a couple questions.
Duke of Northumbria: No your majesty, it’s just Jeff again with that damn helmet.

We interrupt this news story to bring you a Lord of the Rings marathon.

(Sits back in chair and sighs) I don’t think this is a solvable equation.

Born too late to deploy to the Middle East. Born too early to deploy to the Middle East. Born just in time to deploy to the Middle East.

Without the sign I would have figured it was a bunch of dudes waiting for their car to be repaired.

I think the ears really sell it. I’m not sure what women want, but I’m pretty sure it’s this.

Lady at the anime clothing store: Oy! Got any of them tit sack shirts?

Endlich gibt es Cola Geschmack!

Static crackles in the astronaut’s helmet as he makes his way onto the red soil. A message pops up on his display. “Hey, got a sec for a quick teams call?”

Küss mich, als würde ich Zucchinibrot backen.

This could have been a completely made up sentence for all I know.

Timmy 2 - Noch Kranker und Sexy

“Trans girls! Get your trans girls!”
HEY! This is just a cat.
“I can see you my friend, know trans girls.”

Hot take, but I think Terminator would have been much more terrifying with an Austrian ferret.

Oh dang my boss is calling me. Let me call you back on Febtober 98th.

Das Gegenteil von „Frohe Weihnachten“ ist „Unglücklicher Whisky-Tag“.

Ladies and gentlemen, a mouse has sneezed on the tracks and we’ll need to shut down for the next hour.

License and registration ma’am.

Live-Reaktion des Mannes, der die Rakete abgefeuert hat:
:O