• Teppichbrand@feddit.org
      0·
      3 months ago

      Punch a hole in the neck of a small water bottle using a (hot) needle or a cork screw. Fill the bottle with water, close the lit and spray your ass by holding the bottle upside down and squeezing it. I used this 1$ Ghetto-Bidet for years!

      • zarathustrad@lemmy.world
        0·
        3 months ago

        Nice for emergencies, but an actual bidet is like $10-20 and install takes less than 5min (10 if you count watching a YouTube on how to do it.)

  • frezik@midwest.social
    0·
    3 months ago

    I like the bidet’s we have at home, but I don’t get the ones that are separate from the toilet. Saw this type when visiting San Juan, PR once. Their plumbing system can’t handle toilet paper very well, so it’s all bidets with a stack of washed towels.

    Not only do they take up extra space in the bathroom, but are you supposed to waddle over to this thing with a dingleberry hanging out? I don’t get why you’d want that.

    The one argument I’ve heard in their favor is from people with vaginas who don’t like the idea of the built-in sprayer catching bits of poop that’ll get in their cootch.

  • Doctor_Satan@lemm.ee
    0·
    3 months ago

    “Hey, if some caked-up mud pie got on your face, would you just wipe it off with a dry piece of tissue and call it a day? No! You’d wash it. So why is your butthole any different?” - Detective Allen Gamble, ‘The Other Guys’

        • uniquethrowagay@feddit.org
          0·
          3 months ago

          By butthole is nowhere near my taste buds and designed to pump out fecal matter. Other than my lips. Bidets are cool but I if there isn’t one that’s not a problem.

        • uniquethrowagay@feddit.org
          0·
          3 months ago

          Different enough that I’m fine with thoroughly wiping my ass. That’s hardly “having shit smeared all around”. I’m regularly under the shower and that’s good enough for me.

  • Norgoroth@lemmy.world
    0·
    3 months ago

    I love spraying flecks of poo all over the handle so the next guy touches my poo flecks, very euro sanitary

  • B4kst33n@lemmy.world
    0·
    3 months ago

    So, maybe I’m missing something here, but bidets don’t seem all that great? Everyone on the internet is always proclaiming life changing experiences with these things. However, when I recently used them they don’t seem to do very much. My butthole is still poopy and when I wipe to dry my ass the toilet paper tears.

    • swampdownloader@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      0·
      3 months ago

      Some are better than others in both power and nozzle angle/placement. Sometimes you have to shimmy to get the angle just right if the power is low. It should result in a wipe in which no fecal matter remains, only wetness, if executed properly.

      • fishy@lemmy.todayEnglish
        0·
        3 months ago

        Exactly. There’s a learning curve but once you’ve got it, you dread wipe only bathrooms. Installed a bidet on one of my toilets six months ago and now that’s the only toilet anybody in the house poops in unless it’s already occupied.

    • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      0·
      3 months ago

      Low water pressure maybe? Mines a real cheap one and I’ve never had issues with not being clean after. I do usually get stronger toilet paper, but I only use a roll or two a month. I wouldn’t say it’s life changing, but I do prefer it. Also has saved me a lot on tp

    • bluewing@lemm.ee
      0·
      3 months ago

      You need to use the power washer setting. Takes the paint right off the wall…

    • VitoRobles@lemmy.todayEnglish
      0·
      3 months ago

      I was like you a few years ago.

      The crappy ones feel like that.

      Then I sat on a fancy one that sang me a lullaby and gave me positive encouragement as I pooped. My god, my entire butthole is so fresh.

      I now understand.

  • ALQ@lemmy.world
    0·
    3 months ago

    How appropriate to have posted it here. Are you cleaning up the hole place?