We had something like the first one when I was in high school. When I was a freshmen, I saw another student drop his pants, hop up on top of it, lower into the spout so it went ALL the way up his ass, reached around and turned the water on for a second, then lifted off and shot a wave of shit-water all over the basin/wall behind it, then hopped down and ran off giggling.
Yeah…
Haven’t used a water fountain since.
…huh?
…what…?
Public high school in a sketchy area. You’ll see some things.
I sincerely wish I didn’t believe me either.
I also don’t, simply because my high school had a string of vandalism where some kid was pulling all of the water fountains out of the walls. Like he was just ripping them straight out. There’s no way they could support someone putting their entire body weight on it to shove the spout up their ass.
There’s also insertion and water pressure issues. It doesn’t add up, I tell you.
my high school had a string of vandalism where some kid was pulling all of the water fountains out of the walls
Anyone remember that “devious licks” trend?
Your school’s infrastructure was apparently even shittier than mine. In any case, he was a skinny little high schooler - that thing could have been screwed into drywall and still supported his weight.
…and if you don’t think a water fountain spout could fit up someone’s ass, I’ve got some foreign object removal stories from working in the OR that… well, you probably also wouldn’t believe, but you’d be amazed what an anal sphincter can accommodate.
amaze me, i wana hear OR stories
Butt stuff doesn’t come to the OR all that often - I think the ER handles 99% of those. We only take the worst of the worst, when forceps alone just aren’t enough and the patient requires anesthesia.
On that note, the most impressive example in terms of diameter I’ve been in was a Nerf basketball kinda thing - cantelope-sized ball of that firm foam. Even with the compression of the foam, I would not have guessed it would have been possible for someone to get that up their ass, but one dude found a way. …or, maybe his ‘friends’ found a way while he was passed out or something - didn’t get the backstory on it, but the logstics behind making that happen would have to be a 2+ person job.
Anyway, getting the basketball out wasn’t too crazy - just pulled chunks of foam out until it was in small enough pieces to yank out the rest. The impressive part was the monolith of poop that followed it - idk how long the dude waited between getting the nerf ball stuck up there and actually seeking help from a hospital, but… I don’t think I personally produce that much shit in over a week. That didn’t come out easy either - the colon reabsorbed like all of the water content from the poop, leaving it all as kind of a hard sandstone texture, so we had to chisel away at that like some kind of rectal archeologists until we got deep enough past the hardened section; then a massive log of more normal looking shit evicted itself and the extraction part was done.
Then we stuck a camera up his ass and inspected the distal bit of bowel for tears, which there miraculously were none.
So… PSA: if you want to stick something up your ass, go get a sex toy that’s actually made for that with a widened base so it doesn’t get stuck in there.
Not even remotely the same but in the 90’s mcdonalds still had salt and pepper shakers on the tables. I knew a guy who loved throwing them in the bag when he got up from the table along with the ten straws he grabbed and wad of napkins. He really was under some serious financial stress in no way due to anything he had done. I refused to use the salt and pepper shakers at his house and he kept bugging me as to why. I told him he didn’t want to know but he insisted. Finally I told him about the time I saw some kids going from table to table licking the tops of the shakers. He immediately threw them all away. Later they started to reappear and it was because he figured out at the first of the month they replaced them and the new one usually had the seal left on them.
Before you trash the guy for doing that. The guy made 80 grand one year and could barely afford food. All that money went to paying his wife’s medical bills. She had grown up inside the boundary of a superfund site out in new mexico and had all kinds of tumors and other problems. It was called a pre existing condition and his insurance wouldn’t pay for hardly anything. They finally divorced so she could get SSI. That was in the early 2000’s. This country sucked then and it still sucks.Why did he need more than 1 or 2 pairs of salt and pepper shakers though? Why did Mcdonalds need to replace them every month instead of refilling them?
I’m going to take a guess that throwing away little cheap plastic shakers each month costs less than paying a person to clean and refill them.
So into the landfill they flow!
iirc, they were those plastic shakers that didn’t actually have a way to get into them - nothing to unscrew to refill it. They were designed to be used until empty, then discarded and replaced.
Ah, I didn’t think that disposable ones would exist!
Yeah no judgement for being frugal at McD’s expense. 1) Fuck McD’s, and 2) Do what to gotta do. There was a point in my life where I got meals from the condiment station at a college cafeteria. They had free ketchup, and a hot water dispenser thing for making tea, so I’d make ‘tomato soup’ by making myself a bowl of hot ketchup water. Couple handfuls of a single package saltines, and there’s lunch. Life sucks when you can’t afford anything, but it does make you become pretty creative when it comes to saving money.
The concept of cleaning things also saves a ton of money compared to throwing things away.
Do you like live in a version of Pawnee located in Texas?
I live in the cousin-fuckingly deep south, but prefer not to get more specific than that.
This is a strong argument for bidets on public toilets
Jesus
How do I unlearn to read?
Edit: Solved!
cymtcviy! yi?hj kh?ivul jyrg4@g4w3ytmc i!vy8f6lr67k5h4r65kfi!6g md65dutmyfi!vui!gyi! cutcu tctu j2jw sidhe soqn sosn dosna qpch e waosn s wlom !!
I’m afraid you actually unlearned to write. Are you sure you really can’t read what I’m saying?
Elementary school librarians told me reading would open up my mind to new possibilities. They didn’t specify what kind of possibilities.
There’s always Reddit for that.:-P
it’s funny that I’ve seen all of these in real life, though I rarely ever used them due to the obvious hygiene issues
Weak.
I glory in my conquest of our communal bacteria.
Hell yeah, I’m a goddamned fortress by now. I shrug off everything but a multi pronged attack, no matter how sustained. Pretty much have to be badly under slept, kept in tight quarters, and exposed to something virulent.
My immune system is like an advanced alien race just crashing through whole galaxies and annihilating weaker species. As it should be.
The germaphobia in me really want a version that is activated by a pedal that you step on.
But then, I’d probably be too afraid of shared water fountains to begin with.
The bottle filler is activated by proximity. I think that’s totally doable for the other part, too.
Oh fucking hell!!!
🤮
I have to use paper towels to open doors, and probably use hand sanitizer afterwards on top of that. This is just… (no words to describe)
You are actively destroying your immune system. Now that’s irony!
I’d rather not touch the bathroom door handle especially knowing quite a few people walk right out of a stall and skip the sink. It’s a very easy way to get sick.
My brain decrees that touching a public door handle will kill me so this is my life 😓
(I blame covid for this)
Medical advice from a stranger on the Internet, so take with salt to taste:
You may want to talk to a psychiatrist about screening for OCD. There’s nothing wrong with staying sanitary, but you deserve to live life without your brain forcing you to do things you don’t want to =)
you deserve to live life without your brain forcing you to do things you don’t want to
Tell that to my boss.
That whole episode was one of the best bits of television in history.
I just use my knuckles, maybe even with my sleeve or shirt covering them.
Elbow for me XD
Kind of interesting that these have been a thing in Europe. It’s all just regular taps and the few ones I have seen weren’t very popular.
I think it’s probably because people in North America generally really like cold water. Virtually every restaraunt will serve all their drinks with ice cubes. I personally find ice-cold water be rather unpleasant, maybe except when it’s 30°C outside. These water fountains will refrigerate the water before it’s despensed and they have a solenoid to control the water flow, meaning it takes very little force to activate.
Oh, yeah we do. I love ice water even while shoveling snow.
I dunno what they put in those newer buttons, but they feel so satisfying XD
*Chnk* oh hell ya here comes the water
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Unless you are stuck in an all-day meeting with hundreds of stressed out, immunocompromised, most likely sick people all wanting to drink from the EZH2O/EZS8L pair next to the closet bathroom and there is a pair of VRCHDTL8SC down the hall and you are going on a two week Christmas vacation at the end of the meeting.
Then the VRCHDTL8SC is the boss.
Fuck those top three germ spreaders.
Bottle filler is life.
I’ve seen the EZS8L with a spout on top for us bottle filling homies. 😎️
I actually hate the EZH2O. When you go to drink it activates the bottle stream in the back and reduces the water pressure so you have to go down further to drink. Well when you do that the bottle stream turns off and the water pressure goes back to normal and you get blasted in the face full force. Reminds me of my college days.
Reminds me of my college days.
Getting blasted in the face full force?
Australia rejects your hierarchy.
And there’s always one that some kid shoved a piece of mulch in so it sprays everywhere.
Oh yeah the fucking tanbark.
Like cattle to the trough
Yeah, as long as they change the filter. (Most places don’t, and don’t even know how to.)
LMABF8 had the coldest water. I’m all for the EZH20 because I carry a bottle around with me and it’s less likely to spread germs and causes less waste, but I feel like the water coming out of them is barely chilled. I like my water to be so cold it is borderline painful when I am drinking it.
Nothing hit as hard as coming out of gym class in high school and getting some fresh gulps of ice cold water from the LMABF8. Peak refreshment.
Hell yeah - you’d smash that bar & hear a industrial condenser turn on to supply you with artic cold water.
The second one reminds me of elementary school because we had exactly that model.
I think we had the third, but I pretty distinctly remember there being a large metal “kachunk” bar like the ones they put on swinging fire doors. Maybe it wasn’t this brand.
10000000000000000000
I’ll never forget the day in elementary school where I saw a kid casually put his mouth directly on the spout. Then it dawned on me: “There are probably others like him.”
Sounds like you were lucky then, because I remember elementary school too and probably every 5th kid did this on the regular. And have you ever dealt with the really young kids <6 years old? They’ll ask for a boost, suck that spout like a teat, and let everything that they don’t swallow run down their neck soaking their shirt, but they’ll be hydrated.
Did you by chance grow up in Pawnee? relevant Parks and Recreation clip
