Ah shit here we go again.
You must construct additional pylons.
Words to live by.
Followed by your own words of “oh shit, oh shit” when there’s also an incoming Zerg rush at the same time
Anything Glados from Portal 1/2–still one of very, very few games to actually make me laugh. But also the Cave Johnson “when life gives you lemons” rant comes to mind, because it’s both funny and poignant.
Everything in Portal 2 is gold, but if you shout out both GladOs AND Cave, I feel like Wheatley deserves a mention as well.
“Most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you’ve been under for… quite a lot longer, and it’s not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage. But don’t be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.”
Yes, I honestly can’t believe I didn’t mention him. It’s really a testament to what a fucking gem that game is. God. So much greatness packed into such a short time.
You might also enjoy The Stanley Parable, it’s a very similar kind of humor, I recommend going in blind, as the game is a lot about exploring watching a funny dialogue in a video removes the fun out of it being a reaction to something you did.
Favorite Glados ones:
- “We both said a lot of things that you’re going to regret.”
- “That thing you burned up isn’t important to me; it’s the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It makes shoes for orphans… Nice job breaking it, hero.”
And Cave Johnson:
- “When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! Demand to see life’s manager!”
- “Science isn’t about why. It’s about why not.”
Had to look it up to refresh my memory:
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“Nice job breaking it, hero.”
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“You are not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don’t get up here.”
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“Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. We weren’t even testing for that.”
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“Congratulations on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.”
You really need the full 2-minute audio of the lemons bit to get the gist. J.K. Simmons did an amazing job balancing funny and, “oh shit, am I…sad???..during the silly, funny puzzle game!?”
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“Here come the test results: ‘You are a horrible person’. That’s what it says, ‘a horrible person’. We weren’t even testing for that!”
Portal was my first thought too!
“Oh, It’s you.”
Never thought a robot could throw so much shade with just three words.
I’m here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. I know it’s from a carpenter film, but I heard it first in Duke Nukem.
… and I just ran out of bubble gum. :-)
Duke 3D is really quotable.
“Hmm, don’t have time to play with myself.”
Always a classic.
The truth, Walker, is that you’re here because you wanted to feel like something you’re not: a hero.
I just got goosebumps… What an effective game.
Lots of good bioshock quotes, but the standout:
We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us
Truth is, the game was rigged from the start. -Benny
Alternatively:
Hope this interaction does not lead to any fallout between us. Fallout: New Vegas. -Benny
This guy are sick
I highly recommend everyone watch Angry Video Game Nerd’s video about this game if you have the inclination and 15 minutes to spare. This video sent my sides into orbit.
And didn’t forget the original Gamespot review.
No other game has ever been so trashed in so few words.
These birds are Pissing me
off…I’m the original Starwalker
“I’m a coffee achiever, Sam!”
“Suffer like G did?”
LEROY JENKINS!
This always stuck with me. From Braid. Particularly the bonded paragraphs. I added the whole section for completeness.
Tim is off on a search to rescue the Princess. She has been snatched by a horrible and evil monster. This happened because Tim made a mistake.
Not just one. He made many mistakes during the time they spent together, all those years ago. Memories of their relationship have become muddled, replaced wholesale, but one remains clear: the princess turning sharply away, her braid lashing at him with contempt.
He knows she tried to be forgiving, but who can just shrug away a guilty lie, a stab in the back? Such a mistake will change a relationship irreversibly, even if we have learned from the mistake and would never repeat it. The princess’s eyes grew narrower. She became more distant.
Our world, with its rules of causality, has trained us to be miserly with forgiveness. By forgiving too readily, we can be badly hurt. But if we’ve learned from a mistake and become better for it, shouldn’t we be rewarded for the learning, rather than punished for the mistake?
What if our world worked differently? Suppose we could tell her: ‘I didn’t mean what I just said,’ and she would say: ‘It’s okay, I understand,’ and she would not turn away, and life would really proceed as though we had never said that thing? We could remove the damage but still be wiser for the experience.
Tim and the Princess lounge in the castle garden, laughing together, giving names to the colorful birds. Their mistakes are hidden from each other, tucked away between the folds of time, safe.
