I always notice that the women that jump in and out of lesbian and straight relationships. Are usually slutty skanks. Just my personal experience.
Jim Jeffries talked about this topic in his new Netflix special that came out last week.
FAKE: anon thinks girls are real GAY: anon wants to fuck a twink
Recommended reading: “Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution”, by Shiri Eisner
The funniest part about this to me is that the AIDs epidemic actually forced medical researchers to accept that sometimes guys have sex with other guys, and they even created the term “Men who have Sex with Men” or MSM to cover this fact, since they aren’t necessarily gay or bi.
Like, society needs to get over this. Sometimes people have sex with other people. Sometimes they happen to be different genders, sometimes they’re the same. It only means whatever it means to the people fucking and little else
Did they say no homo first?
The no homo spell kills aids.
No but they kept their socks on so it’s good
Am I weird if I like to keep my socks on?
I had a gay friend who up on learning of that “get out of gay free card” said “well shit I guess I’ve been straight all this time!”
Initial reaction: there’s no way that’s real
After reading the comments: what the fuck
I am shocked too wtf. I feel bad for men who went through that BS.
Very strange you haven’t absorbed this concept yet. “Bi women are straight but bi men are gay” is one of the most common tropes in the larger culture’s conception of sexual identity.
I don’t mean to brag, but I have an astonishing lack of culture.
bisexual women are hot
bisexual men are gross.
that’s the underlying assumption.
homosexuality is considered positive/attractive among women, and normalized. a woman doesn’t become less woman for being with a woman.
however, works the opposite for a guy. homosexuality makes a man less manly, or something.
Imagine being a dude and caring if people thought you were manly or not.
imagine being a dude and other people incessantly police your sexuality/masculinity and make comments on it almost everyday of your life.
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It’s definitely a thing but i doubt it’s progressive women who are perpetuating it.
IME of having dated mostly progressive women… they are the ones perpetuating it the most while shouting in public that they aren’t doing that. Or that they can’t be biased because they are women and therefore nothing they think is wrong… only men can be homophobic in their minds.
That sucks, I’m sorry to hear that.
Hopefully your experience is merely anecdotal. I’d need to have some numbers or a study before I change my mind personally though
Love seeing progressive people dismiss the experiences of men
Keep up the bigoted work soldier
Huh? I didn’t dismiss either OP’s or the other commenters’s experience.
But I’m not going to jump to conclusions blindly at your say-so or he-said-she-said or your insults, because when you look at statistics: consistently, across a decade, across all age groups, women are far more supportive of LGBT folks, even the T in the UK (TERF Island).
I know this is a popular go-to thought terminating cliche for “bothsidesbad” type people, but beyond empathizing, what do you expect me to do exactly?
I am sorry to hear you had shitty experiences with progressive women. I had only good experiences with women period, even those on the older side, and I’m a trans woman in the UK. It’s your word against mine unless we have studies and data and statistics, and unless you can demonstrate me some to support an actual argument, this conversation is pointless.
If you have no such data, then at least pose a hypothetical, proposes a mechanical explanation, suggest methodological flaws in existing data, but don’t expect the world to adjust to your experiences or opinions.
You have no self reflection abilities
Aight, so you are just trolling by saying random words with no meaning or relevance. Shouldn’t you be called smoothestsapphic instead because you’re a fucking smooth brain?
Reflect on that and grow the fuck up and speak like an adult.
You trolling and then dismissing me when I tell you to self reflect is funnier than you’ll realize.
They didn’t claim that. They said even progressive women will leave you, meaning they have that issue with all the usual suspects, but also progressive women.
But it feels odd to single them out rather than who would really perpetuate.
You’re right, the difference is that I’m reading it in bad faith and you’re reading it in good faith.
doesn’t count as a true Scotsman fallacy if I assume they aren’t really progressive.
but you can’t be progressive if you have an issue with queer people or anyone bending gender boundaries.
Okay, but are you banned from progressivism if you’re not into them sexually?
That’s a hell of an onus. Like, you literally need to work yourself up to being horny for “anyone bending gender boundaries” or you’re out?
you aren’t obligated to be attracted to anyone.
but if you have a rule that intentionally discriminates someone, then sort of. there’s some work for them to do internally.
Man, that’s even more confused. So you can be heteronormatively horny, but only as long as you acknowledge the possibility of boning outside your comfort zone? If gender nonconforming sex happens in the hypothetical woods does anybody hear it?
Honestly, that’d be kinda funny if it wasn’t such a depressing proxy for leftist purity tests and frequent inability to accept any intermediate states between utopian idealized outcomes and right wing dystopia.
If gender nonconforming sex happens in the hypothetical woods does anybody hear it?
That’s a BrandNewSentence if I’ve ever seen any.
No obviously not. I wouldn’t date black or Asian folks for instance, or fat people, or dumb people or overly outdoorsy folks or a right-winger or a religious person or anyone under 5’10". I’ll happily stand to defend all those folks rights and I’ll stand by them hand in hand in solidarity, we just won’t fuck.
This is ok. This is normal. When it comes to personal association, especially sexual, freedom of association - is a core tenet of any libertarian socially progressive ideology worth it’s salt. And that’s the kind of progressive I’m down for.
You know, I was pretty assured on my line of reasoning here until I read “I wouldn’t date black or Asian folks” and… eeeeh, maybe there’s room for nuance here.
In my defense, I’ll say it’s the way of putting it that feels icky more than the sentiment. But still. Kinda ew. Don’t know if this was a Socratic, reverse psychology thing, but if so, well played.
It’s both really, I actually do hold that viewpoint as described in the original comment, but I also wanted to say it in a way that conveyed why some folks might be made uncomfortable by rhetoric like that.
I definitely agree it’s how you say it - but also where and when and how much you say it.
I think such preferences are fine obviously, but I’d question the motives of anyone who goes around claiming that often and considers it a large part of their identity. Context is everything in the end.
Well, yeah, but that’s the point. It’s “I’m not into that”, as opposed to “I wouldn’t date X type of people”. The point is you can not be into things without it being a political statement. Even if your political line of choice tends to favor a particular aesthetic.
No, but you’re a hypocrite.
Why would you be? You can be absolutely aware of the social patterns imposed on you, including those that are discriminatory or unfair, and still be subject to their effects.
Humans build a lot of their psyche by socializing. From aesthetic preference to sexual arousal or choices of flavor and texture for food. You’re not a hypocrite for not liking spicy food growing up in a culture with milder tastes and you’re not a hypocrite for finding traditional gendered aesthetics attractive after growing up in a culture that reinforced them at you at every turn.
You’re a hypocrite if you find those distasteful or exploitative and still perpetuate them forward to your kids, but even if you don’t, you’re not the only influence they have.
See, that’s why this is a bit of a bummer. This fiction on leftist circles that you can change a deeply ingrained societal pattern overnight or you’re a failure or a hypocrite is not just unrealistic, it’s kind of ignorant and mean spirited. You should be concerned with not making things worse and moving them in the right direction, but you shouldn’t always take the maximalist approach and assume you’re responsible for enforcing overnight radical change.
That’s how right wingers keep setting up their dumb absurdity checks. They just dare progressives to go maximal on every stupid detail and then point at it and call it a lack of common sense. You can recognize a consequence of inequality without enforcing a complete solution instantly. Change takes time, even on an individual level.
There’s degrees to everything, though. There’s plenty of traits I think are perfectly okay for people to have, but that I’m still not looking for in a partner. So I guess I probably also fail your purity test.
if they do that, they aren’t really “progressive”.
Just shows how deeply ingrained power relations are in society with an unproportional low complementing awareness and reflection about it.
I think the difference is the perceived energy barrier if one wanted to fool around on their partner if they a bi vs het.
A bi guy could, hypothetically, find a guy on grindr pretty much on a whim if he wanted to. This is a much lower barrier than straight guys face unless they seek a sex worker. If you are a woman in the early stages of dating someone, where you don’t know yet how much you can trust a guy, if a guy tells you he is bi that can come off as a higher cheating risk than a straight guy.
Straight guys dating a bi-girl don’t have a similar perceived risk increase. Early in the relationship, guys may not even see the potential of a bi-girl hooking up with a girl as ‘cheating’, vs a bonus for his enjoyment. But also - finding a new girl to date is considered harder than finding an interested guy. So the ‘cheating’ risk doesn’t feel that much higher for guys dating a bi-girl compared to a straight girl; he may feel like he is still mostly competing against other guys.
Is this fair or even realistic? No, this is based on perceived stereotypes rather than the behaviors and character of individuals.
But this plays out at a stage of dating where people don’t know each other well yet and are relying on heuristics.
Early in the relationship, guys may not even see the potential of a bi-girl hooking up with a girl as ‘cheating’, vs a bonus for his enjoyment.
Oh boy is that a land-mine I’ve stepped on.
A real, “wait I don’t understand what do you mean you’re in love with her?” moment that rang my bell back in my 20s. And then they ran off and got married. Which… hey, at some point how can you even be mad? They were clearly very happy together. Still sort of sucks to find out your axle was actually a third wheel.
It’s also that gay sex is gross, and lesbian sex is ‘hot’.
The policing around male sexuality is far more intense than it is around female sexuality. Also applies to sexual assault and statutory rape. a lady does it, NBD, if a guy does it, it’s a heinous act.
Further, how many people agonize about female pedophiles vs male pedophiles?
how many people agonize about female pedophiles vs male pedophiles?
What makes this statement even more horrifying is that more and more evidence is emerging that - like with cross-gender rape between adults - rates of pedophilia in the general population seems to be about 50/50 between the genders.
As in, it is equally as likely for a child to be preyed upon by a woman as a man.
And society doesn’t give two shits about female pedophiles or their victims. Hell, if the pedophile gets pregnant, the government will even gleefully re-victimize the victim on a monthly basis the moment he hits legal adulthood by forcing him to pay child support to their rapist.
Now, for the purest example of anti-male gender bigotry, examine the fury and outrage if the genders were reversed.
Seriously, if a female pedo gets pregnant by her victim, that child needs to be taken away from her and put up for adoption. No way a young victim should be held responsible because that bitch raped him.
Sorry, female pedos are as repulsive and degenerate as male pedos. All the stories of kiddie diddlers that are female teachers or nannies make me ill and inspire violence (which I refrain from) but they deserve to be locked up…for good.
So they prefer to be with someone who would cheat at the first occasion but the occasion is hard to find than with someone who has no problem to find an occasion but decides not to?
I’d rather be disappointed early than wasting years on a scumbag
To be fair, this kind of kinetics-as-pevention works.
I use this strategy to prevent eating too many snacks – I do not keep them at home. I can’t have them if they are not here. If 90% of the time I would “choose” not to have chips, not-having-them stops me the other 10%
Maybe it works, I wouldn’t build a relationship on this principle though
I wouldn’t date snacks either but i’m sure someone got offended by this remark. Weird times.
good news, those red flags are getting out of your way.
better then gone than polluting your potential partner pool.
taking the post at plain value, it would be a lot cooler if less people were homophobic against bi men. i dont want all the assholes to stay away from me, i want the to be decent people.
So just throw gay men under the bus? Because this whole thing is just homophobia.
Just ask a friend or family member for attention instead of doing this shit.
Ofc a lesbian would be a fucking bitch. Try to shut your mouth next time your group is ignored when phobia against it is the subject of the conversation.
If you won’t, then shut your fucking mouth now.
Seek therapy
I love white people. Let’s see how long it takes to ban me from Lemmy
Btw I like black people too. You can say I’m a people lover or whatever
Women will leave him? I’m surprised to hear this.
I’m not. I’ve seen it happen many times to friends. Straight girls can make out drunk at a bar/party and that’s the end of it, but two men doing so are absolutely and irreversiblly gay.
It’s just yet another facet of gender enforcement and cishet normalization. Heck during the first season of Love is Blind an engaged couple breaks up because he admitted to his fiance that he has slept with men before. Not that reality TV relationships are real relationships, but there are vast majority of women who see it as a deal breaker.
Unless of course you’re just doubting anon talks to women at all. In which case, yeah… sus… 😒
I assumed anon is a woman, based on the picture.
Since she’s on 4chan she still probably doesn’t talk to women.
In my experience, gay men are much more poly-curious than straight women. So “bi” can easily be clocked as “cheating” from a certain perspective.
And there’s definitely a lingering existential “what if my man’s gay and he leaves me for another dude?” dread that I’ve seen more than one straight woman grapple with, particularly if the guy they’re with is pushing 2+ on the Kinsey scale.
Tag in the Reddit-style “Dump him, he’s not good for you!” social media vibe, and you’ll get women who end a relationship because they would rather do the breaking-up than be on the receiving end.
gay men are much more poly-curious than straight women
I used to have a gay man cut my hair (back when I used to have hair lol). Casey would talk very loudly about his sexual activities and it was always amusing to see the looks the other (female) hairdressers in the shop gave him. One time he was telling me about fucking an old woman, saying “sure, I’ll stick my dick in whatever, why not?” This was especially amusing because it was right before prom night and the place was filled with high school girls getting their hair elaborately coiffed while their fading-flower mothers hovered nearby with shocked looks on their faces. This was in Louisiana, which is surprisingly a lot more tolerant of homosexuality than you might think (at least in some parts) - he was fired that day, which was a common occurrence for him. I think he worked out of five different salons during the time he cut my hair.
“what if my man’s gay and he leaves me for another dude?”
I hate stupid people. Like what if my “girlfriend is gay and leaves me for a woman?”, “what if my girlfriend is straight and leaves me for a different man?”, sounds like insecurity to me. Work on yourself and your insecurity and find someone who is loyal and commited to you. Their sexual orientation does not fucking matter and will not have any effect on weather or not they cheat on you if they do.
Anon wants that BUSSY without social stigmas. Based and gay.
Bi guys are the best. Me too, thanks.
Bi men here, progressive women are not like that. Only “progressive” (read: plays lip service to some popular cause, until it’s popular, often are TERFs etc.) do that, and you just need to skip on them, for more than one reason. I almost dated one, she turned out to be a “progressive” anti-abortionist, because “babies are people too”, and “you can just use contraception”.
Let’s not “no true scotsman” this, that only leads to madness.
This is comment is proof the LGBT people can lie too… “Its not the good ones, only the evil ones”.
Meanwhile, almost every other guy in the world that admits to sucking a cock even once and hes kicked out of the “youre so hot” gang forever by some progressive women. And no, its not just the ones its ok to hate cos social media said so.
Found the incel.
They’re fucking all over this thread.
Have blocked some of them, because they’re not the kind that you can debate with.
Found the reddit user with nothing to offer the conversation but personal attacks and dogshit takes.
> uses “reddit user” as a slur
Not beating the incel allegations with that.
They ruined a perfectly good bum when they put teeth in your mouth.
