(Source: TikTok video)
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Take it from somebody who flies a lot:
Theorycrafting about the best way to load/unload a plane is pointless.
Bring water in a sealable bottle on your plane. Bring some headphones and make sure they are charged. Make sure if halfway through the flight you even feel a little like you need to pee, do it in flight.
When the plane lands keep your headphones popped in, and chill out until you’re off the plane.
The main reason I like a window seat is because it means I don’t have anyone freaking out beside me that I haven’t stood up as soon as the plane stops rolling. I’m just gonna sit here and read thanks.
And me. I’d just wait the 30 seconds for all of yous to deboard and then take my sweet time.
Everyone in the photo thinking the same thing.
Simple question to find out, how much space is there between you and the person in front when you leave the plane?
I try to chill in my window seat and wait for one of the big gaps to open up, then I flip into the aisle, Scorpion my carry-on (“Get over here!”), and rush past the flight attendants to get stuck behind everybody else still meandering up the jetway.
I don’t fly often enough to have a strategy, it’s terrible for the environment.
I flew back from Mexico to Seattle on Friday of last week. Somehow managed to stand up with my bag and walk directly to the front of the plane before any other joker even finished shuffling their asses in their seats. I was able to get to baggage before the conveyor started…
and for all my good luck, I was dealt a cock-slap to the cock: they forgot my luggage in the crew luggage bin on the plane since it was on the heavy side. I waited over an hour for my luggage. They ended up just sending it to my home the next day.
FML.
Do not bring tiktok content here too. We had ENOUGH of tiktok.
It’s worse than drinking hydrochloric acid.
Funnily enough, TikTok and the like are probably a huge part of having not much patience, I believe.
Consuming non-stop content that is only a few seconds long can’t be good in the long run. (And yes I sound like an old man yelling at the cloud…)
When I travel solo, it’s with one shoulder bag I usually just shove under my seat, don’t even need the overhead. I’m instantly ready, but everyone is in my waaaay.
Today you are, wait till you are a little older or sustain a life changing injury. Should there be a class on flying etiquette-absolutely. But capitalism has changed the entire experience of what flying is making it a literal hellhole except for a few people in the front of the plane… Damn I couldn’t get a better description of the USA today now if they only let everyone have firearms after say 4 hours into a flight 😂
I’ve noticed more and more people taking sooo much stuff with them on board too. Like they think they are pioneers and need a covered wagons worth of provisions to weather the trip from ATL to LAX.
I suppose some of that can be blamed on the airlines for steep baggage fees but holy crap do people try and take way too much junk with them everywhere they go. So they all take 10 min to unpack.
It’s the fucking trolley warriors…they take as much stuff as possible inside the cabin, to avoid checking baggage.
Of course the time they save at the baggage belt, they waste for themselves and everybody else when disembarking the plane.Every time I’ve checked my bags I’ve been called a moron because my bags are going to get lost.
And sadly those people are not wrong, I’ve had my luggage lost twice, and they don’t pay you back for that.
I’ve had my luggage lost twice, and they don’t pay you back for that.
Excuse me?
Most likely, they pay something like $5/lb of lost luggage, which is not nearly enough
I was lucky to eventually get the lost bags instead of a useless payment when my bags were lost
Travel insurance? Regulation? Out of any insurance worth paying for, I think travel insurance is like top of the line. Anything goes wrong while travelling (stolen stuff, lost/delayed baggage/damaged rental car/cancelled flights/etc.) gives me a decent payback. I pay like 120 USD/yr.
Regarding regulations: At least in the EU/EEA we have some decent regulations requiring airlines to reimburse you if they lose or delay your baggage.
Next time I will fly anywhere, I’ll make sure to get that travel insurance, thanks for a hint
But it’s not just saving time, I want my stuff to make it to my destination too, and too often it doesn’t if you check it.
Or like that one time where I put my shampoo and conditioner in baggies so they wouldn’t spill over my luggage, and TSA took them out to test the liquid, THEN PUT THE DE-LIDDED CONTAINERS BACK IN THE SUITCASE WITHOUT THE BAG.
Wasted all my shampoo and conditioner, and I had to do laundry in the shower on vacation because there wasn’t a washer available.
Did you ask the hotel? If you are nice they might wash it for free
I’ve travelled for work all my life, I’ve flied idk, hundreds of times, my luggage got lost exactly one time, when I got a connection in Switzerland, they left it on the tarmac. Luckily it was my toolbox, not my personal bag.
Another time my luggage lost me, meaning they loaded it on an earlier flight and then cancelled mine, so my luggage got to destination and I didn’t. That was on a flight from Miami to New York.
Blame the airlines for that. Some are still allowing free carry on, but charging $75 for a checked bag. This is entirely a problem created from airline greed.
Vote with your wallet (wherever possible)
Vote with your wallet (wherever possible)
The last large airline to NOT charge for checked bags in the USA, Southwest airlines, has switched to charging for bags.
Oddly the ones that have the best outcome for the deplaning scenario from this bad situation of paid checked bags are the ones that also charge for carry ons like Spirit or Frontier in the USA. So there is an incentive to NOT bring a carry on because you’ll be charged for it and instead just pay to check a bag (which has more capacity).
When did that change occur? I took a flight in July with SW and first bag was still free.
And then they run out of overhead room, so they check your bag for free anyway.
So they miss out on the revenue, slow things down, and add logistical complexity to a process that is already notorious for losing track of critical items.
The other consideration it has is on net luggage weight. Yeah, they’re still checking bags for “free” but they’re smaller and lighter - saving fuel by increasing efficiency. And that’s also a good thing from a pollution point!
They only run out of overhead room because dickbags put a carry-on and their personal item in the bin. Your personal item goes under the seat.
Same. But usually I opt to sit at the back. Sometimes I get a seat to myself and if not, one of the rows is reserved for medical and always free, so they let me have that. Then on landing, it’s just a matter of laying back and catching up on my phone as the cattle crams itself into awful positions and just stands there staring at their comfy seats. But if the rear door is open, I’m straight off.
If you can’t be first, you want to be last. This is the golden rule of embarking/disemmbarking an aircraft.
it’s with one shoulder bag I usually just shove under my seat,
That isn’t an option for those afflicted with long legs.
I put it under the seat during takeoff/landing, then move it under my legs the rest of the flight. Frees up space for your feet while providing additional support under your legs.
You have the long stride advantage so it evens out
taps head
I would simply have a comically short torso
As long as you aren’t packing that bag to the seams, consider just sliding your feet under the bag.
I tend to be a “1.5 bagger” in that I have a small duffel/backpack in the overhead and my backpack/messenger bag for inflight stuff. And the latter gives me easy access to my steam deck or my kobo but is also more than small enough I can just slide my legs under and get a significant amount of legroom. ALSO has the benefit of making me lean back in my seat which means I don’t care if the person in front of me “reclines”
A buddy of mine is 6’5" and he is just in hell no matter what. Like, anything short of one of the enhanced legroom rows is gonna suck whether he has a bag under the seat or not.
Most off that time is standing still, while the L1 door is still closed, and the jetway has not even begun to move to connect to the aircraft.
People don’t realise that once the plane is parked, engines are shut down and belt signs go off, there’s still shit to do before deplaning can begin.
I have kids now so some of this applies less but!
I totally agree with you. I don’t usually have a checked bag when it’s just me, so there’s no waiting around the baggage claim to look forward to. I DO NOT stop to pull my overhead bag. I’ve either got it under my seat, already pulled it from the overhead, or I fuckin eyeball that thing like there’s about to be a missile intercept (because there is) and I grab and pull while I walk. Once I leave my seat, there is no pause. In the same way, if I’m inside on the window, I’m watching for space and when middle seat moves I follow. None of this “oh shit I forgot the light turned green”.
Even now with kids we are only slightly slower than that. I have to let the gremlins (who you probably didn’t know were on the plane because they’ve been hyper entertained out of their fuckin minds) be line leader to walk off the plane and I need enough time to stand up and get the bags off the seat behind me onto my body to urban pack mule that shit out of here.
What I’m NOT doing is texting my boyfriend oblivious to the cues being presented to me, smashing through the line because I’m an inconsiderate fuckwit, or standing up when it’s my turn and gazing into the overheads like I’m lost in the Arby’s menu. Stage your shit and get the fuck off the plane without stopping, then walk like you got some place to be or move to the side. No big deal.
More importantly than any of that though, I’ve got this really weird superpower where I can listen to what the fuck the FAs say. If someone needs to get off the plane first, I can stay seated and wait for them to haul ass off the plane. Or at least I would, except it’s always like a herd of cattle with no awareness instantly reacting to the sound of the seatbelt light turning off no matter what.
^^ This is my take. Behave like an adult.
99% of the time, I don’t have anywhere to be in a hurry, so I let others (who may or may not need to) go first.
I often travel with kids at this time in my life, but we just chill in our row until things get calm. Then we can grab stuff from overhead if needed, even if it’s behind us.
On the occasions where I’ve needed to rush to make a connecting flight, I just say it out loud and get some buy-in from those around me, or it’s already obvious and the whole cabin is probably aware. In those cases, getting non-pressured people to give you priority tends to work if you just ask.
I can imagine a class of passenger who is super dependent on timing – but those people have already failed. PSA: When traveling, assume that you will not depart or arrive at the exact time on your ticket. Give yourself an hour or two to absorb delays and then you can just be chill.
Except the 1st one of you would stop and convince the 2nd one of you to suck his dick before the 200 become 1 again after deboarding, thereby delaying all the other 198 too, by about 30 more seconds.
If it was 200 clones of me, we would have gotten off the plane before it even finishes taxiing to the gate. We woulda kicked the emergency doors off and inflated those big slides to ride down the moment the tires touch the ground.
“You can’t catch us all!”
If they managed where luggage was stored in the overhead, they could reduce it 10 fold. The whole wait is because people need to go back x rows past people standing to get their luggage. Even if they made everyone sit and deboard in zones it could be way faster.
That would slow down boarding exponentially. It just takes one or two assholes to need to have flight attendants stationed throughout the entire cabin making sure people use their bins.
Rule of thumb: if you are anything past the first peasant boarding group, look ahead. If things look crowded? Find the first mostly empty bin and just put your bag up there so that you can grab it on your way out. Otherwise you are gambling that there will be an opening closer to where you actually sit which inevitably is five rows behind you.
And that (and lounge access and not needing to manage miles for status) is why I ended up just getting the fancy credit card for my airline group of choice. Priority boarding means it doesn’t matter where I sit: I have “my” bin.
The luggage problem has only got worse and worse over the past decade, and by the airlines’ own making. Carriers all started trying to make extra cash by charging for checked luggage, which incentivises people to take carry-on only, up to the maximum size and quantity of carry-on they are permitted.
If bags could be checked for free and people took only an under-seat carry-on for the things they need in flight it wouldn’t be a problem, but we know that’s never going to happen.
The problem is underallocated overhead space. You give us maximum dimensions, and you know the number of seats. Fucking have sufficient overhead space.
The amount of space is the amount of space. You can’t create more, because it’s literally constrained by the roof of the plane. It’s already maxed out.
The only thing they could do to make sure there was “enough space” is to have less tightly packrd seats and carry less people, which again they aren’t going to do for the obvious reason - profit.
Or - reduce the max carry on baggage dimensions, which I’m sure people would equally complain about. And would make them look worse against other airlines which “allow” bigger bags, despite there not being enough space to put them!
Agreed it’s a combo of higher seat density and way more checked bags.
I swear in the 90s getting off a plane felt way quicker.
If bags could be checked for free
I’m skeptical. I fly quite often and it is normal for gate agents to openly beg people to gate check their bags (for free) and be faced by a crowd of dead eyed travelers unwilling to part with their max size carry on roller luggage.
I wouldn’t discount passengers irrationally hanging onto their luggage for some sense of control.
There is a faster method of deplaning. Inside-out is faster. All the aisle seats get their stuff and get off. Then middle, then window
Unfortunately it was never implemented because it makes it difficult to charge extra for higher class zones. It’s also very difficult to get people to actually do it
It would also split up people who are travelling together, so there’s no way it’s happening.
Ah yes, the most human deboarding method. Children deboarding on their own. Families separated. Nuero-divergent individuals deboarding solo.
Hundreds of people trying to reunite at the gate all simultaneously.
That won’t cause any downstream issues.
It’s this. Stay the fuck down until your row is clearing.
Alright. *slaps thighs* Time to stand right in front of my seat for 10 minutes hunched over the seat before me, lest my co-passengers misinterpret my staying seated as an unwillingness to get out of here ASAP.
Literally the fundamental attribution fallacy
Thank you. I had to look it up:
Oh nice. I’ve heard of a fundamental attribution error before but didnt realise it was this.
You commonly see it written as “we judge ourselves by our inte twins but others by their actions”.
Using the examples in that wikipedia page, if we are late for work it doesn’t matter because we intended to be on time. If others are late it indicates a lack of planning or dedication.
Nah y’all just don’t hustle enough.
But but but they have a small child- lame excuse for lame breeders, get out the way.
There’s no point in standing around like a lemon because you’re still going to have to wait for all the people up front who couldn’t get up and pull their bag out of the overheads yet because of a all the people standing in the aisle.
I like to stretch my legs a bit. Makes sense to me.
Well, if I’m on the aisle I want to signal to the other passengers that I will be leaving promptly, and also to people behind me that I’m going to go as soon as my row is ready.
Literally me 6 hours ago 🙃
