I am so terminally carless and unautomobile pilled that I have literally no clue what this is about.
Its a stereotype: BMW drivers supposedly tend to not use their turn signals in instances when they should, which can make them less predictable on the road which can be very dangerous.
Which has led to a bunch of jokes about it.
My hubby drives a bmw and every time he uses his turn signals I point out that he is confusing other drivers
Consistency is important.
Absolutely love the “comments disabled” bit. Did this video at any time had comments allowed? I would love to see the troll fest
I never knew it was common knowledge. I always wondered why BMW drivers use the turn signals less often than drivers of other brands.
I know that Peugeot drivers can’t help it, because the electronics are shit.
The law of the asphalt jungle dictates a strict hierarchy maintained by the current value of the vehicle. The rare and elusive hypercar at the top, Bentley and Rolls Royce after that, BMW, Audi, Mercedes claim their place after the big boys, then comes the rabble with the commoner brands like Opel, Renault, Peugeot, Volkswagen and after that the economy cars. Trailing all of them are the sort of cars that are officially quadricycles and hated by all. The right of way follows that order and no signaling is required for lesser cars. They are expected to yield and make room for their more noble brethren. It’s a stupid status game, all of it, and it endangers safety.
It’s because they’re entitled dickbag drivers. Which is funny because where BMWs are more common, Audi drivers are the entitled dickbags.
If I see a black Audi, I can guarantee that it will be a dangerously bad driver.
As a Munich resident (home of BMW), I kindly disagree. It really is BMW.
Where I live, bmw drivers suck but Mercedes drivers are way worse.
Step 1: Please pay your Signal Light Subscription of $36/month to enable the bulbs.
12 years ago. Back then shit was less dire.
2013 was plenty dire. We had Ted Cruz’s friends in the House trying to dismember social security and medicare while Obama kept explaining away why we needed more troops in Afghanistan and fewer labor organizers in Ohio.
The '08 Housing Crisis was still echoing through the US, the economy was stalling in the face of Congressional austerity, and people ringing the big “Climate Change is coming for us” dinner bell were once again getting told to shut up so we wouldn’t scare away moderate republican voters in the 2014 midterms. Israel and Gaza had broken out into a brief shooting war, the recently-debunked Lancet “Vaccination-Autism” study was gaining traction among reactionary politicians, Jeffry Epstein was hanging out with Bill Gates on Palm Beach, and a fresh-faced NYC landlord with political aspirations was all over FOX News saying how he was on the verge of uncovering Obama’s real birth certificate.
The fuse was lit. We were all just in the fucking around phase, rather than the finding out part. Extremely dire situation.
With respect to subscription hells. Not your “colonial” policies.
Top quality comment right here. Way to hit on so many disparate yet crucial historical events. I’d read a history book this person wrote.
“Before I begin, I recommend paying your heated seat subscription before bothering with stuff like the turn signals.”
Turn signals only available with the deluxe interior / lighting package.
…
For an additional 3 grand.
I can only imagine the frustration of engineers in BMW having to deal with finance people.
Engineer: “…So you want me to route the functionality of heated seats to a PCB to check for a payment variable, to prevent the person, who bought the car, to not be able to use a function already built in… Is that correct?”
Finance guy: “Yes! You got it!”
Engineer: “I know the answer is money but still… Why?!”
Money
Engineer: 😫
Why pay if not used
Fr that seems flagrantly wasteful
Why tho? Is it the mindset of “my car looks so good everyone has their eyes on me so they’ll see me turning? Because every time I see a bmw it’s without fail merge/turn without a signal
I’m always reminded of the scene in Alice in Wonderland where the talking flowers explain to her that they can talk because they’re planted in firm soil, while those planted in soft soil are asleep all the time.
when my BMW is reset, the soft turn signal only blinks once. I have to go and set it for 3 blinks. Ever since, I see BMW drivers sometimes only give one blink and if you blink you might miss it lol bad engineering on such great engineering
Smoking gun
I did not know about soft turn signals until I saw this post.
I question why this feature exists. Drivers should be aiming to signal 10 seconds ahead. When making a lane change or turn, you should be keeping your signal on until the maneuver is completed. I can’t think of a circumstance where 3 blinks is enough. 1 blink looks more like a mistaken signal.
three is good enough for lane changes on the freeway, sure 10 seconds would be optimal but it’s not always realistic
idk about 1 because I think it’s absurd too
I use the three blinks when exiting a roundabout.
Ten seconds of signaling is insane. If you have the room, put on the blinker, change lanes safely, then turn it off.
That’s nearly a quarter mile at freeway speed and more than an average block in the city. You might as well just keep it on the entire time you’re driving since nobody will know what you’re signaling.
Law is 3 seconds here, which is a bit longer than 3, but not a lot. 10 can get ambiguous because there might be a street before the one you’re actually turning at, and then you’ll confuse others.
The 3 blinks is mostly just for roundabout exits though, at least for me. 3 seconds of blinking could mean 2 different exits. Again, confus.
My favorite blinker scenario locally is this really disgusting offramp/series of interchanges/spaghetti abomination thing on my way home from certain directions. I take every possible lane change and right turn for nearly 2 miles on this part of the route, so I just activate the blinker once and it stays on for a solid 3 minutes until it shuts off on its own.
- Start on 2-lane 55mph turnpike with exit coming up on the right in ~.75 miles
- right blinker goes on as the turnpike gradually widens to 5 lanes, adding new lanes on the right every ~.1 miles - I leave the blinker on as I hug the solid white and slip into each new lane as it comes
- After .2 miles of being in the rightmost of the 5 lanes, I slip onto the exit ramp - blinker is still on (lol)
- After another .1 miles, the ramp splits and I take the right side of the fork - blinker still on
- Yet another fork after that where I stay to the right again
- Another roadway merges in on the right which I have to cross in front of
- Come up on a T intersection of the off-ramp with the surface street and, you guessed it, the blinker is STILL ON, and it’s another right turn for me
- That last 90° turn is enough steering wheel rotation to trigger the automatic shutoff of the blinker coming out of the turn
- I grin like an idiot and cackle with glee the rest of the way home as my partner in the passenger seat quietly shakes her head. Fucking glorious
I can sorta imagine it, but also not. I think we need a video to laugh at
Maybe I’ll take a dashcam video. Seems like the sort of thing that belongs in dull men’s club.
What do you mean by “when my BMW is reset”?
There is a tiny pinhole under the driver side door. If you put a paperclip in it for 5secs the horn honks and the BMW is reset. Afterwards you have to resync your key through the authenticator app and change your blinkers from one to three.
If you hear a continuous honk. Your BNW is actually a transformer and you just sounded it’s urethra.
Incredible reply. Simply brilliant.
if the battery is disconnected, it loses some of the memory settings. like there’s two available seat memories that get reset. plus saved radio stations and blinker preferences
Why are the comments turned off 😭 …
AI powered bleeding edge fly-by-wire modern innovation in turn signals
$34.99 per month plus tax for basic turn signals. If you refuse to pay for basic only half your cylinders will fire and your redline is reduced to 3500rpm. Also you don’t have turn signals.
Bravo! I’ll need to have a look, do they also have a video with helpful hints for overcoming the blind spots that prevent you from fitting your BMW into a single parking space in crowed parking lots?
429k views
And yet no progress. So sad.
I asked the local BMW dealer if I had to take a class to unlearn how to use a turn signal.
He did not find it funny, which I found even more hilarious.
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You know, in retrospect, you are totally right.
From what I hear, the car itself beats it out of you.
Based on the number of BMWs I see in the shop there?
Something gets beat, that’s for sure.
So you’re telling me they’re not an optional extra?
Correct. Blew my mind too.
Nowadays the turn signal is probably a monthly subscription
That’s fucking hilarious out of context.
But that being said, BMWs have the worst blinkers control I’ve ever seen in a car. They tried to innovate on it with software and it’s just bad. Seriously. For anybody who doesn’t know what it’s like, go to a BMW dealership and test drive a car or something. Somehow, they took the stick control and made it worse.
So, that there’s a tutorial video, is depressing and funny, but also unfortunately needed.
I have a growing personal hatred of people in white pearl-coat cars right now. They are the new BMWs for me.
I miss the days when sales reps in hire-purchase and company beamers and Audis were the worst people we had to share the road with.
