That I feel immense guilt about any time spent not being productive in some way and believed (wrongly) that you can always just plan and to-do list your way out of feeling crappy. I basically learned to forgive myself for needing time to recover from stuff.
That I didn’t need therapy
lol fair enough
That when breathing funny is a ptsd trigger, breathing exercises and meditation is a bad idea. Reciting memorized poetry helps more— the Raven did me wonders, Jabberwocky too.
Sorry it isn’t the kind of more generalized advice that applies to more people, but you asked what I discovered about myself, personally. You probably don’t have a ptsd trigger when focusing on your breathing— that probably helps you relax.
I can relate to this. I count backwards in threes
That I have severe OCD - like off the charts. Lately it’s been replaying the Charlie Kirk murder video in my head that I accidentally saw at 2:00am in a surprise intrusive image attack. So that’s fun. Other things include checking and rechecking everything I fucking do until I’m exhausted, among many other things.
I think I made the mistake of clicking the same link. It’s a Wikipedia link so how bad can it be?? I’m sure it’s a video taken from far away, right? Wrong. Sorry I clicked it.
The guy might have been a piece of shit but I didn’t need to see his murder from 5 ft away.
That I wasn’t Zen about endings, I was just never allowing anyone close.
If I tell you I will get cancelled by the Karen wine single moms of Lemmy so better I won’t, I will let you find it by yourself. Good luck 🤞✌️
I’m actually a sane, nice person. I’m unhappy because I am dealing with people who aren’t.
That literally never occurred to me. I thought I was the problem.
Wait, you people actually discover things at therapy? All I discovered, was what I already knew, but the therapist phrased it more eloquently, and confirmed it.
Not advice I could put into practice, and she said more than I could absorb…
“Not dwelling” on things doesn’t mean ignoring them.
That the thing I’ve been after my entire life but couldn’t identify or articulate was, in fact, autonomy.
This, after growing up in a house full of overbearing, hypercritical family members, willingly entering into a marriage with someone who treated me like property, being micromanaged, and taught that the key to happiness lies in pleasing others, and living in quiet desperation and letting it build and build until I finally imploded and anded up institutionalized.
In the process of rebuilding my life I made a few mistakes, namely going back to a few of those relationships and trying to make new relationships fit that mold. At least this time I had a little self awareness though. I decided to end all of those relationships and start living on my own terms. And that was when the epiphany hit that this was the autonomy I’ve been craving - and had been denied - my whole life.
I’m way happier now.
That I have ADHD. Turns out depression and panic attacks were only side effects.
me toooo hi 👋
I should really start getting that diagnosis…
Do it. I’ve seen first hand how much treatment can help and have seen it change lives of the people around me for the better.
Not something from therapy per se but I found out antidepressants didn’t seem to work for my chronic fatigue symptoms that seemed like depression because I actually had an autoimmune disease called Ankylosing Spondylitis
I had to find out through my brother being officially diagnosed. Turns out I’ve always had symptoms, especially hyperfocus.
Still haven’t bothered to get a full diagnosis and medicine. Waiting to see if RFK Jr. is actually gonna build ADHD concentration camps.
Codependency is self-destructive, not romantic.
Chronic Anxiety and chronic depression are very similar and tied to similar thought processes and self-fulfilling cycles.
You can’t truly be there for others if you aren’t there for yourself.
Perspective shifting between others and yourself is a powerful tool of understanding and affording yourself the benefits of the doubt that can be hard to muster sometimes.
I really did think everythung through in the way that therapy primotes, and was on the right path emotionally as far as therapy goes so therapy wouldn’t be a benefit. Therapist recommendsd that I should get checked out for a possible processing disorder and recommend a specialist.
After an initial misdiagnosis, ended up with an ADHD diagnosis and eventually the right meds!
- That I indeed have OCD.
- That I indeed have a form of social anxiety/ agoraphobia.
- That some things from the past still worries me despite thinking it would not.
- I quickly get into negative thoughts and learnt how to slowly but steadily change that.
- That I was afraid of admitting that certain things from the past were indeed someone else’s fault and not my own (I never wanted to be the kind of person that point fingers to others).
And a couple of other things but these were the main ones.
What sort of OCD if you don’t mind me asking?
Checking OCD. I keep checking whether things such as lights, doors are closed or the water tab, oven/ furnace are turned off. At some point it took 1-1.5 hours off my time before being able to go to bed and even then it occupied my mind. Went so far to make photo’s and video’s as ‘evidence’ but eventually that did not do the trick either.
I have that too. I wish that was all it was.
I didn’t really go into therapy to find something out about myself, I only went into therapy to try and confirm suspicions about myself.
I am just not surprised that a lot of my issues is linked with childhood problems and that I never had a considerably normal childhood and an even lesser normal upbringing when growing up. That was all but confirmed.
