I’m from Canada so everyone except for the indigenous originally came from somewhere else. I love it when people ask my about my roots, but someone told me it was rude.
Would you think it rude to ask an indigenous person of their background? If yes, then the answer is yes.
I wouldn’t. I’m really interested in different cultures.
Eh it depends on the person and how much they identify with their roots. For some people ancestry is a fun hobby. For others it is something that they are trying to escape because throughout their lives people have judged them via stereotypes associated with it. So the easiest way is to ask: do you identify with your ancestory? Probably not that directly, you can allude to your interest.
A friend of mine gets asked that all the time, cause he’s brown-skinned with dark, curly hair in Germany. There’s the implication that although he’s a German citizen and was born and lived in Germany all his life, his “roots” are somewhere else, and therefore he isn’t a “real German”.
If you get asked that question constantly due to your looks, it gets annoying quickly, cause it implies the question whether you fully belong in this country, so keep that in mind.
There’s sort of a racist undertone to that kind of question that can put people on guard. I think you just need to be cognizant of that when you frame a question.
The annoying version goes like this:
White person: Where are you from?
Brown person: Calgary
White person, squinting at their skin: Ok, but where are you from?
Brown person: Still Calgary.
White person: visibly frustrated
The annoying/racist part being that white people are assumed to originate from North America, but literally everyone else (including indigenous people, lol) are immigrants.
The basic question is fine and I’ve never seen someone upset about being asked. But if you go into more detailed questions, keep in mind they might mispercieve what you’re asking.
ROOTS, BLOODY ROOTS
🤘
So much is contexts dependent.
If it is obvious that you are asking because someone is different, it can feel icky regardless of the asker’s intentions. For example, if the one brown person at the front desk always gets asked this by customers, but no one seems to ask their coworkers. No follow up questions necessary, just the fact of being singled out feels bad.
I think it is less about being from North America and more about being in the ingroup or outgroup depending on ancestry.
Compare this to the context of travelers hanging out at a youth hostel. Everyone is curious about where everyone else is from and it is fun to talk about it.
As a man, I’ve learned to never say anything about a woman’s hair, beyond “Love it!”, or “Looks great!”
Fashionable hair is difficult to maintain and long hair changes daily depending on all sorts of conditions
It depends on the context. Some people might consider their family information to be private and not want to share that with random strangers.
It is all in how you do it. I ask people about their family history all the time.
You mean strangers, or people you’re well acquainted with?
People i establish a rapport with and again situational.
On a bus or a train… no. In a setting where we are all their to socialize, yes.
If we just met, yes it is rude. We’re strangers, my life story is none of your business. If we’re more than acquaintances, I expect it would come up naturally at some point in conversation so not rude (hopefully).
I’m a visible minority so I have to weed out the people who are just trying to satisfy their curiosity about why I’m not white. Those people don’t ever accept the answer that I’m from Vancouver, or that my parents are from Winnipeg. I will never be Canadian enough for those people because of how I look.
Nobody ever asks my white spouse out of nowhere whether he speaks X language even though he’s given no indication that he does, and nobody ever asks him where he’s really from.
When I was younger I got a lot of “what are you?” Well asked that way yeah, I think it’s rude. Also, I really don’t know, usually say mostly southern European because that I know about, and England if you go back far enough but everyone has so many ancestors at that point, it doesn’t make sense really, I think you have to go pretty far back to get to any other country, I am from here.
After arriving to a new country and seeing different ppl (I.e. non-white) asked the question “Ok, but where are you really from?”, I realised asking about roots could be seen as rude by association.
I defaulted to asking, if the conversation heads that way, “Did you grow up around here?” As I see this question assumes you’re a local, and at the same time it’s broad enough for others to respond however they want.
“We are all African.” — Richard Dawkins
“You are a fungal organism.” - Paul Stamets
“We’re made of starstuff.” - Carl Sagan
Yeah, it’s stupid. I hate it when people ask me question like this. I am not from anywhere, I am from here.
Usually some drunk idiot I meet though insist that I need to tell them the origin country of my great great grandparents. I want to punch them.
I’ve encountered this, as if it’s somehow a problem to be disconnected from your ancestors’ country.
Guess what? I visited Scotland (where 2/4 of my grandparents are from) a few years back. Had a great time at my favourite whisky distillery. Zero strong feelings for the place otherwise though.
except for the indigenous originally came from somewhere else
This is not true. Even the indigenous originally came from Africa, because we are all African apes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homininae
Excellent pedantry, 10/10
It heavily depends on context. I love to chat about mine but I won’t if I sense that there’s a risk of discrimination. The amount of information I divulge depends heavily on how close we are. If you ask it out of the blue and you’re not someone I trust well, it comes off as rude.
Hello from Ontario
Fellow Ontarian. Go Raptors.
When you ask that you are more or less subconsciously confirming your stereotypes you have of certain group of people. When I talk to people why do I have to know where that persons parents are born? It’s just putting people into small boxes they have nothing to do with and I hate being put there myself especially when it’s one of the first question. I prefer asking/being asked about the career and life path.
