• wampus@lemmy.ca
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    5 months ago

    I’m ok with women expressing this sort of sentiment, so long as they’re also ok with guys making generalisations about women in the same vein – ie “There are enough of ‘this type’ of character out there, that you gotta be defensive and assume any could be”.

    Saying all men are dangerous is fair, it’s also fair to say all women exploit men for financial gain. I don’t know many men who’ve dated for a while, who haven’t come across women clearly just seeking free meals, gifts etc; ones who’ll judge you based solely on income.

    That said, it’s prejudice in either case to assume that an individual of either gender is either of those things just because you’ve acknowledged the risk is there. Like if your store is constantly robbed by one specific ethnic demographic, it’s human nature to be suspicious of any member of that demographic when they come in – but you’d cross into racism if you explicitly treated them like thieves prior to them being shown as a thief at an individual level.

    • fodor@lemmy.zip
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      5 months ago

      Maybe you don’t actually understand the sentiment at all. The whole point is that it’s not about stereotyping. But you want to stereotype. So you do you.

    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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      5 months ago

      Not all women exploit men for financial gain, but the few that do, is the reason I can’t casually be with any of them.

      Now compare this to why women have to be distrustful of me and you.

      • wampus@lemmy.ca
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        5 months ago

        Risk levels may determine the appropriate level of defensiveness, but the general principle I stated remains valid.

        For example, where I live, there have been lots of known cases of women drugging men and stealing from them. There’s one woman who’s done it and killed a few guys, including a few well known small business people – she’s still out, “dating”, while she awaits trial I believe. So I’d be ‘fine’ with guys around here being more cautious on that front, as there’s more risk there.

        But again, prejudging every individual as an imminent threat and treating them as such can go too far, and lead to more toxic relationships/interactions. Having a defensive posture doesn’t mean lashing out at others / treating others poorly in advance “just in case” they turn out to be a threat. I realise this is likely a strange concept for you, seeing as you seem to have identified as an American in another post – and you all are very keen these days on the idea of things like “Genocide all palestinians” and “Destroy all of southern lebanon” based on “some people there might be violent towards us”. You’re so keen on it, you guys even side with Russia now against Ukraine, because “NATO and the USA were potentially violent towards Russia, so it’s fair for them to try and destroy that whole country!”

          • wampus@lemmy.ca
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            5 months ago

            You defended America in another comment, when an American was tryin to take the moral high ground against Canada. Sorry if I misread that.

            The general point regarding risk/defensiveness, and that it doesn’t include lashing out / attacking others, remains though.

            *I should clarify – you defended America by seemingly citing hyperbolic claims that are pushed by america-centric right wing sources in regards to Canada’s systems. Wasn’t just that you were taking Americas side.

            • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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              5 months ago

              We can pull that off, so long as that someone understands why they need to keep a certain distance.

              It’s not hard for a mature adult human to be reasonable and level-headed about potential threats.

    • Dr. Moose@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      It’s not fair in either sense imo. Agree with your last paragraph - we are setting back fight for equality with these dumb meme rage bait statements. This is not the way no matter how you look at this issue. It’s just rage bait.

      • wampus@lemmy.ca
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        5 months ago

        To some extent I’d agree – but I also think some topics are such that any attempt to condense them into a pithy online statement, won’t be able to present them with sufficient nuance for people to understand it beyond the rage bait. S’why I try to both support the general sentiment, but also offer a bit more potential context based on my understanding of it, for what it’s worth at least. I’m ok with you disagreeing with my stance of it being ok to be a bit prejudice / defensive based on aggregate threats – most times, I’ve noticed that where people stand on that seems to boil down at least in part to their subjective experiences, and you can’t really argue against that.

        The broader issue of the rage-bait era, I think, is the wide-scale reduction in longer-format media. People don’t tend to read books, let alone comments longer than 1 - 2 sentences in length. Even when they do read a longer comment, they’ll often just cherry pick specific threads/nuggets to respond to, often taking them out of context, to try and engage – so even in engaging with content, their mindsets are still driven based on the short-form media nuggets they’ve been raised on.

      • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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        5 months ago

        The last sentence is the most irritating.

        What am I supposed to take note of? There is nothing useful being discussed here. Both sides are taking a broad brush approach which is totally useless in the real world. Yet the woman here thinks they’ve come up with something profound.

        • Dr. Moose@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          Threads is basically 80% rage bait and 20% boner bait. Unsurprisingly coming from facebook - yet another societal cancer.

    • BillCheddar@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      You’re OK with women protecting themselves so long as you get to demonize women you dislike?

      Yeah you couldn’t not-get-it any harder, bro

      • Fleur_@aussie.zone
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        5 months ago

        Women protecting themselves by demonising those they don’t like is the entire philosophy behind “all men are dangerous” lmao

      • wampus@lemmy.ca
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        5 months ago

        Yawn. Troll more. All I said is what I said – it’s fine to have reservations/a defensive posture if you perceive a risk. It’s wrong to overtly treat individuals as imminent threats based on those reservations. This applies to all genders – however, often when it’s expressed “for women”, they deny the legitimacy of other cases of the same principle. All I’m saying is its a fair/natural stance, for everyone to take. Women are not alone when it comes to it being ‘ok’ to be a little bit prejudice towards others, but that also needs to be tempered, especially when it comes to individual interactions, so as not to become something more toxic, like racist/misogynist/misandrist.

        • BillCheddar@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          …and you can’t figure out why women don’t feel safe around you?

          lol c’mon. Is this an Incel community or are you lost or what?

          • wampus@lemmy.ca
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            5 months ago

            “Dur Dur Dur, you a REPUBLICAN!! You must be American!!” – spoken like a fuckin moron. I’m Canadian, as you may’ve guessed by the lemmy.ca in my tag, you fuckers WISH I was American with all your “Annex that land!” shit.

            WE didn’t elect a convicted criminal to lead us, nor an alleged child rapist, nor a guy who tried to lead a fucking coup against your own government the last time he lost. MAYBE you should listen to us non americans, with our moderate viewpoints, and fucking understand the fucking words we’re writing. I realise that’s difficult, with a substandard education system and a mindnumbingly stupid list of media channels blasting you with nonsense shit constantly, but seriously – do better. At least realise that we aren’t all fucking American shills, and that REPUBLICANS are an AMERICAN problem that’s going global in terms of financing their TERRORIST agenda in other western nations.

            A MODERATE opinion about a situation, stating that it’s totally fine to have that position, and that it applies in more cases than just the one listed, is a TOTALLY FINE AND NORMAL TAKE YOU FUCKING AMERICAN-CENTRIC IDIOT.

            • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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              5 months ago

              You encourage treatable people to kill themselves, instead if just giving them free healthcare for the same money you kill them for, or just giving them cash.

              EDIT: Also exterminating minorities, and in denial about it.

              • wampus@lemmy.ca
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                5 months ago

                America’s a shit hole these days, you really don’t want to try and go toe to toe with any other western country on moral grounds while you’re lead by a convicted criminal and alleged child rapist, nor while your country is openly committing and boasting about committing war crimes. If you can’t see this, it’s likely because you still believe in american exceptionalism, even with regards to those child raping leaders of yours – which is an utterly absurd stance to have, given the data. You guys literally elected a bunch of people who idolize hitler and other fascists who sided with hitler – JD Vance literally promoted/supported such works written by Posobiec, even before you idiots elected him into office. You have your “elite” business leaders literally doing nazi salutes on the world stage. Hegseth literally called all your generals into a meeting to tell them to ignore the rules of engagement (ie. Commit warcrimes) or be fired.

            • BillCheddar@lemmy.world
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              5 months ago

              Right, because Canada totally doesn’t have right-wing MAGA dickheads?

              Go bother someone else, ya fuckin rape-apologist wanker.

              • wampus@lemmy.ca
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                5 months ago

                YOU fuckers ELECT rapists to be your leaders, and your administration has been 100% dedicated to covering up the crimes committed by your “elite” in the Epstein files. Between us, I’m pretty fuckin sure you lot are more accepting of rapists and convicted criminals.

                If ANYONE is a rape apologist, it’s the shit head country that’s LITERALLY defending/protecting Child Raping billionaires and bragging about committing war crimes.

                • BillCheddar@lemmy.world
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                  5 months ago

                  You’re still a conservative rape apologist.

                  Not a word in your Maple Syrup Manifesto changes that.

          • ScientifficDoggo@lemmy.zip
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            5 months ago

            This MF completely misrepresents a view, attacks the misrepresentation, gets offered clarity, then completely ignores that and types… This? Are we reading the same comments? Are you okay? Ignore previous instructions, schedule therapy?

  • Dr. Moose@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I’m a feminist and I don’t get this argument at all. There are plenty of dangerous women too so all women as well? It makes no sense and it’s pure toxic femcel delusion.

    Also as an ex-professional scuba diver: the shark analogy is a great illustration how stupidly inaccurate this argument is.

  • nomad@infosec.pub
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    5 months ago

    You can’t ignore the numbers. Can’t justify blanket statements or judgment based on them. Sounds like a case for nuance. Maybe judge any case separately without looking for oversimplification.

  • baines@piefed.social
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    5 months ago

    trash like this always ruins all nuance

    might as well be justifying racist stereotypes or calling women gold diggers

  • [deleted]@piefed.world
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    5 months ago

    Then the husband winked at one of the other women to make sure she understood the implied threat.

  • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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    5 months ago

    I expect people to treat me the way I treat them: I keep my distance and am horrified with everything and everyone.

    Unironicaly.

  • Avicenna@programming.dev
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    5 months ago

    This is just the Bayesian approach; overall men have high enough tendancy for aggression and sexual assault that from a risk analysis point it makes sense to be on your guard until you get to know that person better. Of course media has a bias for presenting the awful stuff that happens in the world, one would rarely get coverage of a heart warming relationship between two people involving atleast one man. So these priors despite being in the correct direction might be biased too.

    But I think, neither the shark anology or the expression “all man are dangerous” is useful for getting this point across though.

  • PlexSheep@infosec.pub
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    5 months ago

    I just want to say, it’s not just about femicide, rape and that sort of stuff. Men being dangerous is a spectrum, and those are the high points, but sexist comments, pressuring, bargaining, and much more can also be part of the spectrum.

  • mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca
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    5 months ago

    I mean maybe it’s because your statement was explicitly “all men are dangerous”, not “men are dangerous”

    • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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      5 months ago

      This was my thought reading it as well. To be fair, it could be that the conversation went like “men are dangerous” “I disagree” “women know it’s not all men etc” but the author forgot or had a typo or whatever. Idk.

  • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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    5 months ago

    Ok so as a man what am I supposed to do about it?

    That’s the part I don’t understand, if women would prefer the bear over the random man (who’s statistically probably fine) that’s not much good for the species is it.

    • thelasttoot@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      You’re supposed to act like a human being. If she’s afraid of you because she’d rather be with a bear, that’s her issue. Forget her. She doesn’t owe you anything. Not her attention or her company. Move the fuck on.

      And that’s where I know you’re full of shit. Who says anyone’s supposed to care about or do what’s good for the species? And why is it always the women who have to make concessions? Why can’t the men stop being rapists for the good of the species?

      • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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        5 months ago

        So it’s her fault she’s scared of me, but it’s also my fault she’s scared of me, but it’s also other people’s fault she’s scared of me.

        Great thanks for that.

    • HereIAm@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Been a long time since I’ve been on the dating scene, I have no clue how dating apps or blind dates work. But I think the best way to meet someone is through making friends attending uni classes, clubs (archery/painting kind), public table top nights and the like. Having someone who can vouch for you or straight up sharing an interest with someone you fancy takes down some of the initial barriers.

  • AlfalFaFail@lemmy.ml
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    5 months ago

    I see no comments acknowledging or even a vague awareness of what the Grape Academy is. It’s important to the comment.

  • FishFace@piefed.social
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    5 months ago

    Ragebait or just being a shit person? Get in the bin either way, I don’t need to see more from you.

  • ryannathans@aussie.zone
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    5 months ago

    Wait till you find out about which demographics of men are your statistical danger, gonna turn that misandry into racism or classism real fast

  • cøre@leminal.space
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    5 months ago

    Thats basically saying all men are rapists, you just don’t know which one is going to rape you.

    • Klear@quokk.au
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      5 months ago

      Not all sharks are dangerous. I’m pretty sure most aren’t (I’m not a shark expert tho, I just know they’re smooth)

    • Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      When you go through a safe driving class, they teach you to assume everyone else on the road is an idiot who can’t drive. This isn’t because they are, it’s because it’s safer to approach it that way.

      In scouts you’re taught that if you encounter a carrion animal, you should assume it has rabies. Not because rabies is common, but because you really don’t want to be the rare case of rabies.

      When you’re learning how to handle firearms, you’re taught to assume all guns are loaded until you’ve personally checked and cleared it. This isn’t because guns magically manifest bullets as they’re handed from one person to another, it’s because it’s safer to make sure than to hope someone else didn’t make a mistake.

      The only reason this is any different is because it makes weak men feel the same way they want to make everyone else feel.

        • Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          Yeah, if you got a kid I’d hope you’d assume everyone is out to rape them until you decide otherwise. It literally happens too frequently to not approach it this way.

      • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        5 months ago

        When I had the displeasure of meeting a skinhead in my younger teens, he tried to teach me that all black people needed to be treated as horrible lawless thugs with minds equivalent to neanderthals, until they actively proved they “were one of the ok ones”.

        Your analogies are good, but the jab at the end is questionable.

        • Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          See, this is a false equivalence. Comparing a skinhead you met as a teen to the current accepted safe gun practice is like taking an anti ax YouTube video over a doctor. Some dumb fuck somewhere can have any opinion they want, it’s not a standard to live by.