I think the answer to the question she asks is that an unholy alliance of focus groups, market analysts, and accountants have calculated that the Path to Most Money ™ goes over in the opposite direction, away from the fun stuff.
I’m sure there’s usually good low budget feature-length stuff out there being made, but in today’s media landscape it’s up to the viewer to find interesting and unique content. It isn’t going to be blasted into the faces of all the passive viewers like Avengers 37 will be.
This only works on like mid movies, maybe. You can’t do it with a film like Plan 9 from Outer Space or The Room because the jank is part of the appeal. But maybe an actually good version of Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow? Sucker Punch, but with a better director?
Uh, they remade The Room starring Bob Odenkirk.
somebody PLEASE remake
American Mary
Daybreakerscool ass premises but flawed executions
There is no saving Sucker Punch. The fundamental premise of the movie is each rape is a fight scene showing a literal interpretation of a metaphorical struggle. It’s not recoverable.
how about we gut the premise but keep the badass ninja schoolgirls and campy explosion-filled fight scenes and charmingly dated CGI, and let Angela Robinson direct it
Why? Why is something so easily explained impossible?
Can it be done? Maybe. But the problem with making a metaphorical struggle a physical fight is that the audience for both is drastically different. Many people affected by rape hold a feeling of helplessness about the event. A Zach Snyder 300 style fight scene is literally about exerting control and overcoming. For a person to make such a drastic emotional pivot begs the question were they were ever feeling at all?
Mid movies with an interesting premise. That’s the point of OP’s post.
Scarface, Omega Man, The Bird Cage, Thomas Crown Affair, Ocean’s 11, Fist Full of Dollars, Vanilla Sky, Wizard of Oz, The Bourne Identity: all remakes. Arguably, the new Dune movies might be considered remakes of a relatively mid original movie, though the new ones are far more tied to the book.
So taking the 1993 mid kids’ movie Rookie of the Year and adapting it to a modem take where the lead is 19 and plays soccer for Arsenal or whatever, would be what OP means. Or redo the 1993 racist POS movie Falling Down. Or Dave, JFC.
Wow I learned some things here.
Question though - I haven’t seen Falling Down in over 20 years. What makes it a racist POS movie? Was I so blind back then?
It’s been a while for me as well, but IIRC it was a lot of POCs playing the microagression villains.
They remade Dune, and somehow managed to make it worse.
Do you want Fantastic Four? That’s how you get Fantastic Four
[raises hand] which Fantastic Four… Last I counter there were like five… I think… I lost count.
Well, there was the “We want to keep the rights” movie from the… 90s, I think? Then the two with Jessica Alba, then Fantfourstick, then the MCU version. So, yeah, five by my count.
Pink Flamingos - Sausage Supreme
IYKYK
Interesting. Who plays Divine/Babs?
Harris Glenn Milstead
They meant in the suggested remake.
What about remaking foreign movies into domestic interpretations? La Pacte des loups could use an update.
As long as they follow OPs premise. There’s been lame US remakes of good movies where they could have just watched the original with subtitles. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, for example.
On a vaguely related note, why aren’t we making more movies that take a Shakespeare plot and just stuff it in a different setting without trying to hide it? Like 10 Things I Hate about you was Taming of the Shrew.
Tell me you wouldn’t watch Mechbeth.
I would be so much more interested in Shakespeare if the cast were replaced with giant war robots.
There have been a bunch: Throne of Blood is Samurai Macbeth. Warm Bodies is Zombie Romeo & Juliette
The Lion King (1994) is Hamlet.
“O” (2001) is Othello.
Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead (1990) is based on two minor characters of Hamlet.
She’s the Man (2006) is Twelfth Night.
Romeo + Juliet (1996) is a modern-day Romeo and Juliet.
O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) is Homer’s Odyssey. Not Shakespeare, but a brilliant modern retelling of one of humanity’s oldest surviving stories. In the same vein as the above mentioned films.
These are all I can think of off the top of my head. Not to mention dozens of modern Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, and Macbeth retellings over the years. Those three alone are the more popular Shakespeare stories for reinvention on the big screen.
Love Romeo + Juliet. The first gunfight and when Mercutio shows up are highlights.
For anyone who hasn’t seen it, they use tons of the original dialogue, even down to calling their guns swords.
Mercutio was one of the best parts of that movie. He and the soundtrack were so great.
That “Love me, love me” song was on the radio constantly for months after that movie came out.
Macbeth… IN SPAAAAAAACE!!!
Profile picture checks out
Can do other classics too. Clueless is such a fun adaptation of Emma.
I kinda thought we were going to get a new Howard the Duck for a second. That would’ve been hilarious either way it panned out.
I think we should take something really underrated but improve it. Off the top of my head, The Rollerblade Seven.
Let’s have multiple reboots going at the same time. I think it would be great to have like three reboots of Jurassic Park going at the same time with different directors. I want to see a full length Wes Anderson take on the film, but also a Zach Snyder take and maybe a Danny Boyle take competing on the same weekend.
Doesn’t that pretty much describe DC? At one point, they ha Juaquin Phoenix Joker, DCEU, and the Robert Pattinson Batman all kinda overlapping.
Somebody ought to remake Demolition Man
Completely perfect as it was, no? Stallone and Snipes having a great time chewing the scenery and playing off each other, Bullock perfect as the ingénue that’s down to cyber; lots of iconic ratburgers, sea shells and Taco Bell. Admittedly, the far off year of 2032 doesn’t seem that far off any more.
If we’re going to be remaking action movies from 1993, then I’m voting for Hard Target. JCVD is amazing at kicking things but terrible at anything that does not involve kicking things; don’t mind some dumb stylish action but you don’t have to be stupid.
Taco Bell
Pizza Hut if you saw the international version of the film. Taco Bell wasn’t well known outside the US at the time, so they changed the restaurant to something more familiar for international audiences.
Don’t fuck with perfection!
I only know about that in the case where the film was bad, but based on an great book. The Lord of the Rings and Dune both had bad films made of it.
Because nobody will fund a huge production that’s based on something that didn’t do well. Are you nuts? Are you going to go up to people and ask for 50 million dollars or whatever and say we’re going to take this thing sucked that nobody liked and we’re going to redo it.
I mean, they’ve made how many Percy Jackson movies? Pretty sure no one likes any of them.
I thought the black guy was funny if you look at his feet
Disney’s new show is actually pretty good
In a similar vein, the Series of Unfortunate Events movie was a weird and ultimately disappointing adaptation but the Netflix series was incredible
The best example is The Thing. The original film in the 1950s was awkward af. But the 1980s remake by John Carpenter was chef’s kiss. Then they made a remake of a remake and it was meh.
The 2011 The Thing wasn’t so much a remake as it was a prequel to the remake, telling the story from the Norwegian scientists’ camp.
The 1982 John Carpenter remake opened with the last two remaining Norwegian scientists chasing “The Thing” until it reaches the Americans’ camp. But they’re misunderstood by the Americans. When trying to shoot at The Thing, which has taken the shape of a sled dog, the Americans instead return fire and kill them. Then the Americans explore the Norwegian camp and try to figure out what horrors killed everyone there, while slowly discovering why they were shooting at a dog in the first place.
The 2011 film shows what happened to the Norwegians before the 1982 remake. You’re correct, it wasn’t as great of a film (hard to compete with John Carpenter), but it wasn’t exactly a remake.
The worst thing about the 2011 prequel is they had filmed the whole movie with practical effects, like the Carpenter movie, which is one of my favorites of all time. If you’ve seen it, you may remember very little of these and a lot of cgi.
The studio or production company or whatever didn’t like the practical effects and we got cgi Thing instead. I’d love to see the original effects, and I feel so bad for the people who worked so hard on it just to get scrubbed from the final cut.
It was a weird combination of remake and prequel. It hit all the same story points and barely added anything new apart from Tetris aliens.
You scared me for a second, being only aware of the 80s one I thought you wanted a remake of that lol
I kinda think Event Horizon had a phenomenal concept, but had a C+ execution. If there’s a movie I think needs a remake, it’s that.
I love the movie, but it could definitely be done better with some modern touches to the effects and script.
Make it an official WH40K film, like it was written to be.
I was actually going to say, give it some nods Warhammer and you’ll have a dedicated fan base out of the gate.
Starring Jack black and Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
The Rock would definitely do a remake of Silent Running. They’d have a jungle on the spaceship.
Dune comes to mind
Instead of the corporatization of storytelling, we should be letting artists tell the stories they want to tell. We should engage with our media more critically and stop chasing nostalgia.
Stranger Things did that, for its first season.
