My husband and I absolutely do discuss free will and other philosophical questions. Being able to have those conversations is what drew us together.
Some people talk about the weather or their local sports squadrons. We would rather discuss the ethical implications of modern technology or the nature of knowledge or art.
You can have both, damn.
“Hi honey, i’m home”.
“Acknowledged, hun.”
Again. Awesome. Truly never gets old. Can’t wait to do this shit for the rest of my fucking life.
How was your day?
Firstly, that sounds great. Secondly small talk is meaningless filler, not common topics, so asking common things is not small talk as long as I actually care and participate in the conversion (like “how are you?” Or “how was your day?” Or even “interesting weather today”)
It can also be foreplay for a deep conversation - you stroke and give little kisses in the form of familiar phrases (how are you? Work has been tough this week), then you start sliding hands a little under their clothes in the form of asking broad questions about the things people like to talk about (I love my cat, do you have any pets?), and then you work up to third base by finding something really interesting you both want to talk about (so, then they found ten other subspecies of deep-sea pseudoplancton, and two of those make a chemical that can induce hallucinations …).
Then afterwards, a nice snuggle of small talk again before heading back home (well, I hope Billy is feeling better by next week, let me know what restaurant you’d like to go to and I can drag Bobby along too)
how are you? Work has been tough this week
Sounds to me like deep talk. I only talk about how terrible work is with people I trust.
I mean, the Fins have a thriving society.
I can’t explain it, but they’re among the happiest people on earth.
There was an interesting theory in a paper: during happiness research they interview people and ask them to imagine what the best life would look like and then estimate where they are compared to it in a scale of 0 to 10.
Well, in Finnish comprehensive schools we use grading 4-10 where 4 is “failed”, so everything under 7 is bad and 8 is merely “ok”. And as we learn this odd scale quite early it’s stuck in our heads. So yeah.
I don’t know any Finnish person that would describe their life as happy. Perhaps we mean to grade our life as merely tolerable when asked and the scale doesn’t take into account this weird system that we use!
Wow, I thought this kind of scaling was just in the 5 star review where companies think 4 stars is failure and 5 stars is ok.
People think that “i hate small talk” must mean “i want big talk” because they cannot comprehend the idea of just shutting tf up
Yeah I can’t imagine the alternative. A life where you and your partner aren’t comfortable in silence sounds like a nightmare.
Truth!
These thoughts rattling around in my head and this breath in my lungs would be wasted forever unless I combine them and thrust it upon your unwilling ears
—the entire world for some reason
Sorry, I’m quieter when I take my Ritalin!
Not always true and a little besides the point. I went through a period where my friend circle ONLY made small talk. Hang out for a couple hours at a bar, 90% no talking and when we did it was either to insult each other or talk about our beers.
It became exhausting. Unsurprisingly we went our separate ways and never contacted each other again.
What the duck are you taking about Joey?!?
“Hey babe! I already ordered delivery. Let’s fuck~”
if this matches your idea of destressing after a long day, and you’re a furry, 📮🥺
E: and before the inevitable ‘but what do you do after the sex?’ - well you see, you eat, and then have more sex. Then maybe a shower before bed. Possibly involving sex.
Then maybe a shower before bed. Possibly involving sex.
How does that actually end up working? If you have running water, doesn’t it wash off lubrication?
In my experience, you need to step out of the flow of water usually, otherwise most complain. I don’t mind it myself, and I pre like a faucet so I can get jerked off right under the flow of water and it makes no difference.
Yeah, that’s been my experience with it. It works alright if you stick to the non penetration stuff though.
With silence. Peace and tranquility. Simply enjoying someone’s very presence without needing to verbalize it
I thought so about myself too, until i realise i hate small talk because most of the time it’s about topic idgaf or with people i don’t want to interact with or when i’m supposed to focus.
I just start trauma dumping
The definition of small talk is literally establishing common ground in some way. It’s only meant for people you don’t or barely know.
It’s absolutely unnecessary for people you already know deeply.
Life partner arrives home. Me: extends middle finger. Life partner: grunts. The rest of the interaction: [redacted]
The more I read into this thread, the more I appreciate being German. I don’t talk to the cashier besides smiling at them and saying hello and goodbye and they don’t expect me to. I only talk to people I want to talk to, besides at work. But even there I keep it low.
It’s not that I don’t like to talk. I just prefer to talk with a meaning.
That’s how the vast majority of people here are. Say hi to the cashier, maybe chat with them a second if you’ve seen them a few times, then move about your day. People don’t randomly have an hour long conversations.
You might like New Jersey to then. “How you doing” is about the extent of it. I can see people I know while out for a run, walk, grocery, whatever, and you’re only getting a how you doing unless there’s something important we need to discuss. Neighbors, you get a smile and a wave. I’m not striking up a conversation just to strike up a conversation, and that’s how most of us are.
At the same time, we can plan to get together and then do get-together stuff, including those meaningless or meaningful conversations.
I hope you don’t get me wrong. Ten years ago I might have thought about that. But in the meantime, the USA have removed themselves from the list of countries I want to visit for the foreseeable future and probably beyond. And even 10 years ago, I wasn’t really eager to visit.
I understand why you’re saying it. There isn’t really a place that’s representative of the US as a whole, and NJ certainly doesn’t represent the qualities that you’re presumably trying to avoid. But the internet paints this picture that definitely looks bleak, so I can appreciate your sentiment.
It’s not that I fear for myself. I am aware that I, as a white German dude, will probably be fine in the US. It’s more of a statement I want to express. You, the US of A, won’t see a cent from me as long as I can prevent it. I’ve cancelled my subscriptions. If it’s made in the USA it’s not made for me, etc. And I’m making sure my government knows what I think about playing nice with the beast.
I know there are great people in the USA and I’m sure you are one of them. But your country turned to shit.
Hey, you won’t find me disagreeing. I try to stay local, small businesses, all of that. It has been a disappointing decade for sure, but I’m not going to lose hope.
All the best to you and the other people that don’t agree with the government. Let’s hope it’ll get better soon.
My bf and I barely talk at all. It’s fucking awesome just being comfortable shutting the fuck up together.
You mean you don’t have someone constantly at their/your wits’ end… telling you that you’re either the cause of , or lack of the cause of everything?
Thought I was just old fashioned… LOVE…
Nah; I split with my abusive af wife years ago.
No you transition straight into hardcore steamy sex
That’s what normies don’t get about introverts: we’re not above small talk, we’re above small talk when it’s all there is. Of course we’ll ask the loved one how their day has been, and the fact is we’ll actually shut the fuck up and listen to it all, and when things become serious we’ll talk to say meaningful things.
Else, there’s folie à deux echolalia, shitty jokes, movie lines, comfortable silence, or skipping it all to ‘scorching hot sex’.
I’m all for small talk. It’s the superfluous small talk just to kill dead air I hate. I’d rather sit in an elevator and say nothing than talk about how much rain we’re about to get this afternoon.
Thats insert x location weather for ya’! don’t like it, Just wait five minutes! *proceeds to slap knee’
