I just find them unnattractive; generally not into piercings or tattoos. To each their own…
Same.
Although maybe “unnattractive” isn’t a good fit because I do understand that it’s not a woman’s default objective to “be attractive” to me. It’s more just that maybe I’m a bit weird about ears and noses. If you have something hanging out of your nose my lizard brain alerts me that it’s probably a booger. My more sophisticated hominid brain is aware that it’s not, but this creates a kind of unsolvable feedback loop that’s unsolvable.
Yesterday I was interviewing a candidate for a job. I’m genuinely trying to listen and engage with this cacophony of booger not-booger booger not-booger going on.
Although maybe “unnattractive” isn’t a good fit because I do understand that it’s not a woman’s default objective to “be attractive” to me.
When you say that something is unattractive , it’s your personal opinion which you are entitled to. It’s fine. We are people, we are diverse.
Im not so sure about that. Of course its fine to not be attracted to different traits, thats not in question. The problem is what we say.
If someone says they find a phrase impolite, or that they find a meal bland, there’s an implication that the thing has not met that person’s expectations.
People dont sail around expressing their opinion that they find something unattractive for that very reason.
If someone says they find a phrase impolite, or that they find a meal bland
And that’s an opinion too. That’s fine.
You chopped my sentence in half in order to avoid acknowledging the point i made?
The second half doesn’t change the essence of the phrase. If it does and I didn’t understand it - please elaborate.
Having an opinion is fine.
Stating that you have a negative opinion implies that something is unsatisfactory.
I find smoking unattractive.
IMO this isn’t a special case. Most smokers don’t want to be smokers, they are unable to stop. It’s fine that you find smoking unattractive, but telling everyone just makes you a bit of a jerk IMO.
Its wild to me verbalizing turn-ons and turn-offs is considered rude nowadays.
It used to be considered prudent and realistic.
Not wasting my time or their time is polite.
If you don’t want to date people who enjoy role play, sure. It’s not rude to make people aware of that. Fine.
If you don’t want to date people who are overweight, that’s fine. However, if you say that to someone they will probably find you to be a bit of a jerk.
There was a time, decades ago, when smoking was much more common that it was seen as something more like a choice or preference - maybe vaping enjoys that category these days. Now that smoking is much more unusual it’s more like a type of substance abuse. Any smoker hoping to form a meaningful relationship would be aware that it’s an impediment.
You can avoid wasting people’s time simply by not consuming it.
Hottest thing ever. Tastes and smells revolting. Eventually kills the person, but fuck if my growing up in the 90s brain doesn’t immediately equate smoking with “ooooh mysterious, probably reads a lot of Russian fiction, hot af.”
Oh cool I’m not the only one, though for me it’s my lizard brain thinking their injured and wanting to fix it. Doesn’t apply to tattoos though since those get classified under scars.
I didn’t say it was anyone’s objective to be attractive to me. And it isn’t. I just have (as does everyone else) the agency to decide for myself what I find attractive or not.
Thank you for pointing out the possibly ambiguity of my response though, so I could clarify.
Do you decide what you find attractive? Or just observe and notice? Could you decide that something is attractive for you?
Yes, i decided by observing and noticing.
That’s how attraction works.
Im not just by default attracted to one hair style or a specific skin color.
I observe and notice what attracts me and make a decision.
Good observation; maybe ‘decide’ isn’t the best word.
We happen to be attracted to whatever we are attracted to… It’s subconscious, really, perhaps partly stemming back to childhood experienced and parentally instilled values…
I have a sensory issue when I see piercings. If I see someone with a nose ring, I feel it in my nose, but like the thickest part of the ring going through my nose.
Same, and it’s not something I really care to shout from the roof because why does my opinion matter and I don’t want to tell people what to do in the first place, but it’s also something I can never say even in passing because of what group of people it puts me in
Nose rings are for cows 😀
I’m ready for the downvotes
Literally comparing a woman to an actual piece property is probably deserving of the down votes 😅
The only person living in the apartment building is her, and it belongs to her. She can decorate it however she likes.
Folks really need to start interrogating how entitled they feel to women’s bodies catering their aesthetic desires and fantasies. You dont know that woman- why do you feel so comfortable comparing her to property?
Its literally her body to live in, I’m not sure how what you like matters even a little bit.
She can decorate it however she likes.
And will be shocked I tell you when no one of quality moves in.
Lots of folks of quality happen to like tattoos. It’s an aesthetic preference not a measure of character, I know planty of tatooed punks I’d date any day of the week over someone like you.
So far you’ve really only demonstrated that people who are comfortable comparing women or black folks to property won’t be interested in “moving in” which is a weird and gross metaphor. No one moves in. They have their own house. That they can ALSO decorate their own place however they please.
How that random lady whos picture you got off the internet looks is none of your fucking business. Who she chooses to date is none of your business.
Please unpack your shit so that all the people who share space with you dont have to deal with the chauvinism you internalized. We all have shit to unpack, I have internalized shit I am working to unpack, but people around you dont deserve to be subjected to a weird entitlement to what they do with their bodies.
My brother in Christ don’t compare black men to property either. I literally JUST pointed out that it was comparing a person to property, did literally zero thoughts go through your head before you posted this?
I do not have words for how gross the choice to post this is
Since we are sharing what we think other people should think about. You know what people really need to interrogate IMO?
Friendly fire.
You have, in this post, concocted a cockamamie, pretty awkward framework with which to argue with other people about your progressive views on women’s bodies. Thing is you’re using people who most likely already agree with you regarding this topic as target practice.
You’re not progressing that cause here, very few (if any) people on lemony whatever are on the other side of this issue, you are self aggrandising based on how clever you think your point is. It denigrates the cause by making proponents of that cause look disorganised, confused and ornery.
Same side? The comparison in the picture was so crazy out of pocket that I was struggling to even wrap my head around what was being conveyed until it was pointed out. Ain’t none of my friends making comparisons like that unless they’ve had a chud conservative phase and they quit that shit. Regardless of how attractive they find tattoos.
The gender of the person being demeaned doesn’t change my view on it for what it’s worth.
(He also just pivoted to comparing a black man’s body to property. As if thats better and somehow works as a “gotcha”)
Its an image comparing a woman’s body to property. Pointing out how much it sucks to post something like that isnt “friendly fire”, its the only appropriate way to respond.
I pretty regularly see people comment or post sexist shit here, which isnt surprising given a huge amount of the users came from reddit. We all have stuff to unpack, including me. But when you see stuff like that you call it out.
It’s a little unreal to me that with half of lemmy I have to argue there isn’t a secret fascist psyop any time someone doesn’t agree with them, and then I apparently also have to explain that no, people on lemmy ARE in fact very capable of sexism (that is largely a vent in general, and my frustration about the former half is not directed at you. Its just disorienting the range of conceptions about who this platform is made out of)
Even if everyone on this platform is a leftist (which is not the case, there are plenty of liberals), peoples political ideology does not make them immune to carrying the social conditioning of growing up in a society that sees some folks are more or less legitimate, autonomous humans than others. Leftists are 1000% capable of sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, and all manner of other harmful internalized ideas.
Why the hell would people on lemmy not be capable of sexism? I saw someone post some sexist shit like literally yesterday. I politely pointed out that it was innapropriate and they took the post down.
Deciding maybe Bernie has a point that billionaires have too much money doesnt equate to having unpacked all the harmful cultral bullshit you pick up as normal in society. Don’t compare women to property. And calling it out when someone does that isn’t “friendly fire”. If they didn’t have any shit to unpack they wouldn’t post something like that.
Jesus bruh.
Sorry for the wall of text, I’m tired of people hiding from unpacking their garbage while saying harmful things to the spaces I care about.
Women deserve to be able to come here and not feel like this spaces sees them as lesser humans whose humanity is only legitimate when they are gratifying enough to men. It’s a direct comparison to property, everyone here should be able to see thats wrong.
And then he doubled down and posted a meme that compares a tattooed black man to property.
I understand. I’m sure everyone has flown off the handle from time to time. I certainly have. I’m honestly just concerned. Your post felt like someone who is experiencing a great deal of stress probably from more than one source. You really should find a way to reflect and give yourself a little room to breathe. Give your mind some space to relax and expand. It’s abundantly clear that you mean well but when you become over invested in the massive amount of problems in the world out there it’s possible for one begin to neglect ones self. Take care ok?
Bet the plumbing still works on the lady though.
You’re so lucky you don’t have a photo.
Now post a photo of what you look like
I think most would agree that the building doesn’t look good, while tor the woman, it depends on if tatoos are a turn-off or if you’re fine with them.
I’m fine with tatoos and the woman is beautiful to me.
Why can’t I say as much about the building despite graffiti being arguably like tatoos? If you think about it a bit, the answer is obvious.
The woman is the one who decides what to put and where on her body. In that sense, it’s part of her expression, her identity. She didn’t draw them herself, but since she made decisions to express what she wants, it makes it her art to a point.
While there was not one person to decide for the biilding. Several came and drew whatever. And often without a lot of effort or skill going in. The point here is mostly to say This is me. I was there. Look what daring edgy thing I did in a place that’s hard to reach.
If a lot of people took markers and wrote their name on a woman’s body without much effort or skill and without striving for some sort of cohesion to the overall endeavour, I don’t think it would have been appealing, either to an onlooker or the woman herself.
Why’d you feel the need to comment about that?
It’s the topic of discussion. And this is a place to share thoughts, ideas and opinions. Since this wasn’t somebody’s post for themselves, they gave their opinion. Rather respectfully, I might add. So although we like to pretend everyone is of all the same opinions here, that’s not the case.
I never said he couldn’t, I just asked why, cause like:
“Pedophiles dont like nose rings cause children can’t get them”
“No I just think they’re ugly”
Work on your reading comprehension. “People who don’t like nose rings are pedophiles” is the bigger statement they were responding to
That’s an entirely different statement than what I said, so idk how you mean about reading comprehension
Ha! I thought the punchline would be something like “they’re an effective deterrent.”
Same.
I expect Bluey tattoos to start becoming more popular in red states.
Because Bluey is Australian? I’ve got to be missing something there…
Maybe it was a bit a reach for a joke. It’s just that some conservatives have called tattos on women “unattractive.” So if parents started letting their young kids get tattoos as a repellent, those kids might choose childrens’ TV show characters like Bluey.
If I’m ever single again I may get one just to help filter out closet conservatives.
Reminds me of this gem:
That’s pure gold!
That rainbow hair looks cool af
Unfortunately, not for very long
I’m sorry what? You gotta be over 18 to get a septum piercing in USA? Why???
You can but you’d need to have a parent present to give permission. Or…you can be me in your teens and just do all your own piercings.
Infection liability, gotta be old enough to sign that you won’t sue for infection or disfigurement.
Suing for infection? It’s practically impossible to prove an infection was from an error by the piercer. It’s more likely the person just didn’t clean it properly.
In the US, nearly anyone can sue for nearly anything. It doesn’t mean that they would win, but it can make life very painful for the party being sued.
I think your parent can sign those for you though
Parent can let you get anything if they let you. You mist be 18 to do it for yourself.
Sure but it’s actually legal, a parent can’t legally buy you cigarettes or alcohol for example.
parents can booze-up their kids in wisconsin, as long as it’s in their presence.
I think that’s most states. As long as the parent is still responsible for the kid drinking and they stay home.
In Wisconsin you can bring them into a bar and buy them a drink.
I can guarantee you that is not true, at least not in every state.
Almost every girl whos ever shown interest in me had a septum piercing lol
Please tell me the secret to your success
Be a piercer
I have no tattoos or piercings
Thinking back on it now I’d say in 4 outta 5 serious relationships she had a nose ring of some kind, 2 were septums and 2 were side of nostril. I believe one of the nostril piercers also later got a septum piercing. I find nostril more attractive but neither is a deal maker or breaker for me.
not a fan of the booger piercing, but just a personal taste thing
When my husband got his he said he could smell it healing and that’s a no for me dawg. He removed it not long after.
how you blow your nose then? what’s the plan, never get sick? lol
You do realize you can temporarily remove them, right?
No? How i am supposed to realize this? I dont think about them, and I dont anyone who has one? Okey so it’s a little bit less impractical lol. Still would be scared to pierce
Do you think they can’t be removed? It’s just an earring but for your nose.
You blow it like normal and pick any boogs out of the ring that get left behind
Eeew!
Does that mean wee-wee?
I thought you had to be 13 to post on lemmy
I feel the same when I scroll past comments on porn sites and see people complaining that the actress has tattoos. why does that ruin it for you so much, bud?
why does that ruin it for you so much, bud?
Because of personal taste? 🤷🏾♂️
And to be honest: some tattoos are poorly done.
You kidding me? Tons of kids in my highschool had septum piercings
Am I the only one low-key annoyed that the photo does not show a septum piercing (I understand it’s called a “smiley” piercing–done on the frenulum of the upper lip)? It’s Alysa Liu’s signature look.
Nah I was squinting at the picture trying to find it.
your wife walks by
400X view of some girl’s nose on your monitor
“…I don’t even wanna know”
Wait I thought the septum was another name for the gooch
Aww come on, I think that was funny, downvoters. XD
It’s ok I was punching down (toward the gooch)
I love septum piercings, and piercings in general. And tattoos. And weird hair.
i can tell you that’s not true at least for me personally
i have a strong aversion to all piercings of the skin, especially ear-rings. first of all it just feels wrong. it feels like societally-accepted socially-encouraged body-self-mutilation. in any sane universe, people would think that you’re crazy if you intentionally drive a nail through your skin, because that’s what it is.
other piercings are slightly less bad because i feel like people actually thought about it instead of just doing it out of social pressure so at least it’s their own conscious choice. still don’t like it though.
Decoration that causes no actual harm? Literal insanity.
no actual harm
Around 20% of piercings get infected. It’s weird to me that someone will cut their finger, wash it, apply antiseptic, and put a bandaid over it. Then that same person will intentionally poke a hole in their skin and shove a foreign object in the wound so it can’t heal properly. From a purely biological perspective piercings don’t make any sense at all.
From a purely biological perspective
If you ignore the entire “humans are a social animal” part of it I guess, but that’s an invalid basis.
People get mild infections from all kinds of normal behavior. Eating food, walking outside, existing near children.
If you ignore the entire “humans are a social animal” part of it I guess
That’s what “from a purely biological perspective” means, yes. How many other social animals intentionally injure themselves?
People get mild infections from all kinds of normal behavior. Eating food, walking outside, existing near children.
Injury from those activities is an unplanned side effect. Injury is the entire point of piercings. Not really an apples to apples comparison.
How many other social animals wear adornments of any kind? And it’s inaccurate to say that behavior is detached from biology which is what I mean by “invalid”.
The “entire point” of piercings is decorative. Social signalling, personal aesthetics, religious practice, ceremony, whatever the reason. They join the long list of things we do with physical drawbacks but mental and interpersonal benefits. Tattoos, sun tans, restrictive shoes/clothing, smoking, drinking, and so on. You can live your life of bodily purity but don’t pretend like your way is more sane or natural.
How many other social animals wear adornments of any kind?
None of them. Who’s trying to hand-wave clothing by saying that humans are social animals? I don’t understand where you’re going with this.
You can live your life of bodily purity but don’t pretend like your way is more sane or natural.
Don’t strawman me. I don’t give a shit what people do to their bodies. I said it doesn’t make sense from a purely biological perspective, which is accurate. Either engage with what I actually said and stop extrapolating or fuck off.
I said it doesn’t make sense from a purely biological perspective
Which is wrong because social behavior is part of our biology. The specifics differ but the impulses are as much a part of our genetics as habing thumbs is.
it’s just doing what you like with your body and decorating it. I wouldn’t personally get a piercing, but i can see why people like them.
I feel like getting piercings and tattoos is very human.
Honestly I think this is most hetero men, I know a lot of liberal/socialist men who don’t find them unattractive.
Feel like this joke works better with tattoos, both because I don’t know any lefty people who find them unattractive, and since most people know you need to be 18 to get one, while most assume septum piercings are like any other piercing and you can get them at whatever age.
Makes sense. I just went to an anarchist festival and every single person, bar maybe 5, had septum piercings. So it’s definitely popular on the left.
I feel like an anarchist festival in particular probably also has a bit of a data bias.
I always voted left and don’t have piercings or tattoos. Nothing wrong with them and many people have really awesome pieces of art.
But just wanted to point out that the left, by definition, is all about diversity and welcoming all flavours of self expression, so trying to box us like that doesn’t work so good.
In case it reads weirdly, this was not an attack, just an observation.
I always voted left and don’t have piercings or tattoos. Nothing wrong with them and many people have really awesome pieces of art.
Same here!
But just wanted to point out that the left, by definition, is all about diversity and welcoming all flavours of self expression, so trying to box us like that doesn’t work so good.
Totally agree.
In case it reads weirdly, this was not an attack, just an observation.
I didn’t take it as an attack. My original comment was an observation in a bit of jest too. I even play in a couple of very leftist punk bands and having no body mods is both very rare and totally welcome.
Also, outside of the weird world of Christian, white supremacist fascists obsessed with purity culture, every ultra right winger I’ve personally met has been heavily tattooed and even pierced.
