This weekend, Amazon is premiering its $40 million Melania Trump documentary. It already seems to be a flop.
We’re going to add insult to injury by messing up Melania’s Amazon search results. Specifically, we’re going to amplify the paranormal erotic thriller novel Melania: Devourer of Men so it ranks higher than her movie.
The book is perfect: It’s absurd, the cover is ridiculous, and it’s free, so we’re not giving Amazon any money.
Currently, the book ranks #29 in Amazon search results for Melania. But all the other Melania results seem pretty weak (lol), so we can pull this off pretty easily. We just need people to:
- “Buy” the book (it’s free)
- Share this post and get other people to “buy” the book.
That’s it.
(Link is here in case your Lemmy client stripped out the other ones: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HN9XC1H . If it’s not free, try buying from Amazon.CA)
Please share! Then we can celebrate as an erotic novel about a bat monster Melania Trump becomes a higher and higher search result on Amazon.
You are still giving both Amazon and her name traffic. Remember the old adage of no publicity is bad publicity, so fuck that. Amazon pages alone will never dirty my devices, this isn’t really the zing you think it is…
I did my part!
Here but for the grace of God, I go… Alright… I’m in.
Oh my fucking god, this is a goddamned gem. Trolling master level.
It costs ~$7 in Canada, almost worth it :)
Make sure you’re buying the ebook, not the paperback! Folks are saying the ebook is free
Indeed! I always miss that when checking on books, might need to power on my Kindle :)
JD Boehninger is SUCH an awesome name lmao
Ok, which one of you did this?

This fucking got me. I’m still sitting here giggling over this book cover.
Maybe just reference the book and it’s details on her Wikipedia page
Love this review: " Unlike Melania’s convention speech, this book is a completely original piece."
Ok, I did it for you. I haven’t bought any Kindle books in over a year so I feel icky but at least I paid $0 for it.
Probably easier to get it to redirect to Melenia, Blade of Miquella’s Fextralife page by simply editing the wiki to change “Melenia” to “Melania.”
Nobody would wanna solo her, tho.
lmao
JD Boehninger is an author, sailor, skilled woodworker, internationally-ranked tango dancer, and ombudsman. He lives in Oatman, Arizona, with his 14 dogs and (briefly) one cat. He is extremely food-motivated.
I’d expect we’d rather find one fic on AO3 that’s about Melania witnessing Demente go for the big, beautiful Bill, if you get what I mean, and we make that famous.
Alternatively, I found this pretty fine selection of stories ft. Melania Trump:
- “Melania Trump and Vladimir Putin Forbidden Love” by idontlikecocacola
- “The Trump Family Invite You to a Celebration of Their Alpha Son” by DC Joyrider
- “Love Trumps All” by Nina_Cookie333
Share them. Make them known. Make them enjoyed. Make them a fucking search term result.
Done… and I’m frightened that I might actually read it…
It’s at # 14 when I searched. Spreading this everywhere I can. 😆
INCREDIBLE!!!





