- cross-posted to:
- femcelmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone
- cross-posted to:
- femcelmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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Women in movies: “Going to do a full blown date prep montage, complete with song and dance number, where I transform from mousy librarian to runway model over the course of 15 minutes. Come out cool as a cucumber and charming as a prince.”
Women in real life: “Going to throw on a top and some jeans, half watch a Netflix special about serial killers while I curl my hair, then down a mug of hard liquor to build up the courage to look a guy I’ve got a crush on straight in the eyes. Try to make it through dinner without mumbling, burping, or mentioning that I’m on my period.”
Absolutely love these “real life” women
My only proper post-bar one night stand, we got to my place, and the girl pulled out of her purse the largest bottle of vodka seemingly imaginable. It was like some disturbing Mary Poppins shit and really was an appropriate harbinger of everything that followed.
Did she put it in your butthole?
No, that was a different girl, whole other thing. It just escalated quickly for a guy who isn’t super the taking girls home from the beeeest honky tonk in Utah type. It’d all sound made up, but it’s just how it accidentally happened. But I’m not divulging mostly because it’d probably be super vanilla to you freaks. (jk kind of)
Did she jump on top or just leave the lights on?
Primarily, she wanted me to fist her and spit in her mouth, which. .in some other context, FINE, maybe? Maybe after your name sticks in memory or like…maybe next time? Preferably still probably no? I just wanted sex, it’d been awhile, Jesus Christ. We already went to Denny’s. Idk you just had to be there. I don’t kiss and tell. I’m a gentleman.
You might not kiss and tell but you do fist and tell.
I politely declined.
Poor girl just wanted a fist in her twat she’s not asking for the world.
They did mention Utah, so probably took off the special underwear, jump humped, and then soaked in god’s loophole until morning.
Oh man soaking in god’s loophole after a night at the bar sounds like a great way to get shit on.
Thanks for the visual aid.
I always say that everyone should have aids.
I basically did this once.
Except it wasn’t alcohol, it was molly.
The date was going poorly, because we were on different levels.
She said I was being egotistical, I apologised and told her I was ballin.
This was hilarious apparently, the date went smooth afterwards.
Nice, you were right, you were ballin.
She sounds fun!
My date would be over if i saw that they are an alcoholic who drink and drive
That’s why she waited until arriving to drink? And then presumably the date lasts a few hours over which she sobers up?
She may have planned to cab back, it’s unclear from the story
Good luck getting laid in rural areas lol
Ok, I’m not related to them so they wouldn’t like me anyway
And I can spell, and hate Trump, so I’d be too “librul”
He totally would not have noticed that she was completely smashed.
Dating is fine. Alcoholism is tough.
Yup, dating didn’t make her drink. Also I wouldn’t want to date someone who can’t function without alcohol.
Theres a difference between “i need to drink before socializing” and “i may not have dated in a while and a buzz would help calm the nerves”. theres plausoble explanation for this.
And there’s a difference between “I’ll have a sip of vodka to loosen me up” and “I’ll ‘pound shots’ and ‘chug vodka for 5 minutes’”
She could have just had a shot and spent the 4 minutes making wrenching faces holding it down…
The polite thing to do in this instance is to get on her level by pounding your own set of shots.
Power move: pound her shots.
Ahhhh…
The 'Murican attitude that it’s ok to drink and drive…
Yeah, seems pretty clear that the drinking was done in a parked car after getting to the place they were supposed to meet. So not really.
And then they teleported back to homes <3
Sure, or any of all other ways without driving themselves. If you cant think of any you need to get outside more.
Explain how they are supposed to take their car home without driving it. Because if they leave it there it would probably get towed
That very much depends on the neighborhood!
- suburbs: anecdotally I’ve been fine, they don’t care as long as you come back in the morning
- city: take the bus to the bar
30 years ago it was more of a “no harm, no foul” attitude. People would regularly drive around while actively drinking and mostly were not bothered.
Then organizations like Mothers Against Drunk Driving did a lot of lobbying and got politicians to make more laws and police to actively enforce them.
Now the blood alcohol limits before you can be arrested for DUI are fairly low.
Drunk drivers hurt other people because of their selfish stupidity
You’re fucking dense
Typical fucking yank. “I’m fine, so fuck everyone else” while being too stupid to know that you’re not fine.
I don’t remember saying that
Its funny, the words you wrote made people think that.
Nothing they said indicates they think drink driving is OK, just that people used to view it like that.
Their posts reads like drinking used to be accepted and okay but now its not accepted but still okay. Also, it was women that ruined it for us. This is some bullshit Charlie Kirk level of dishonest debate.
Lol, because I mentioned an organization named Mothers Against Drunk Driving (I didn’t name it that), now I’m against women?
I lived through the societal change, I was just trying to briefly describe the change. Geez.
That description is your perspective, which says a lot about you.
You also haven’t denied that you dislike women in general, or that you are for people driving drunk.
Feel free to set the record straight if youd like.
What the fuck is wrong with this platform? Why are people like this?
And drunk driving deaths are also down.
All crime is down
What are you supposred to do?? Walk? Not drink? Insanity
I think the obvious thing to do is to make up stories on the internet
Yup, people in, say, Eastern Europe or South Africa never drink and drive. Hell, even Canada has higher mortality rate than the U.S. for drunk driving.
I get that it’s fashionable to shit on America (and like 99% of time it’s justified), and I will not go as far as to say there is no drunk driving problem here (cause of course there is), but it’s not an “American attitude”
Bro don’t try to fool me, I watched Ray Donovan so I know how bad it is!
Your link does not say that Canada has a higher mortality rate than the US for drunk driving. It says that drunk driving is responsible for a slightly higher percentage of motor vehicle fatalities (34% compared to 31%). Given that the US has three times as many traffic fatalities per capita, this means that the US has almost three times the mortality rate for drunk driving as compared to Canada.
And if anything drinking culture has become less popular do to cannabis recreation legalization in about half of all states.
She didn’t drive, she’s sitting in a parked car. But sure, America is bad because of a random story that is probably made up. Where do you live that’s perfect, I’d love to move there.
It’s safe to assume that if she drove to the place of the date, she planned driving home as well.
Keeper/10
Seriously this is a “…and this is their 15th anniversary” kinda story
Pre gaming it is a must in today’s economy anyway. Sounds like she had a good idea but rolled a nat 1 in the execution.
Where are young people supposed to even meet each other anymore? JFC the only place they’re allowed to be overtly sexual is the bar, where it’s expensive now. Dating websites suck now and if you approach anyone anywhere else, you’re a creep?
God damn no wonder we have a dwindling population. The only safe options are rich and asexual.
/yells at cloud
Probably my closest real life example to this was I had a breakfast date, but I ended up getting pretty drunk at a party the night before and showed up still drunk :(
I felt like an ass.
We went on a few more dates but then she suddenly stopped texting me. She messaged me like 2 months later and said there was a death in her family and she was sorry, but we didn’t set up any dates after that.
You were the distraction, and that is ok
That was a rollercoaster of a story with a disappointing end.
It was disappointing, I did really like her!
But it’s okay, I like my now wife more than I liked her.
As an alcoholic… that lady is an alcoholic.
But could totally be a meet-cute for a really bad manga that runs for 74 chapters and then just vanishes.
Yeah, the fact she already had the bottle in the car…
Sort of reminds me of the time my friend fixed me up with a friend of his partner.
OK its not the same but we met up at a nice chinese restaurant in amsterdam and I immediately found my date very hot. We had chemistry right away! When the server came to take the drink order my date lean in close and whisper to my ear “only get a mixer” as she pressed two small bottles into my hand and then winked at me.
Turned out she is a flight attendant for klm and her purse was full of them!
Are you George Clooney from the 2009 comedy/romance Up in the Air?
Yes.
So, is your wife single or what?
When the server came to take the drink order my date lean in close and whisper to my ear “only get a mixer” as she pressed two small bottles into my hand and then winked at me.
Marriage Material
This is why we should normalize committing societal faux pas and crimes on dates! Sounds like it was an incredibly fun time
My now-wife hid me from police one of the first times we hung out, couldn’t agree more!
Yeah it was a wild for certain!
I have not been on too many first dates, but I usually try to find something moderately illegal to set the vibe.
Of course, gotta make sure you’re not with a square or a narc
Yeah, I mean, if they’re not into doing something a little out of the ordinary, how can you know you’ll be compatible?
*the patter of seeds against stone*
“Yeah, they don’t let me feed birds at this park anymore”
If was me, she already would have some points in advantage since vodka is my drink of choice…
Legitimate question - what do you like about vodka? Do you mix anything with it? I’ve never found one I enjoyed, so I am curious.
It gets the job done and it’s cheap
