Blobby and Friends
I have never felt more connected to a comic, ever.
You had a pet blobfish too?
This is a great article on this topic
https://issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/when-the-missing-reasons-arent-missing/
When I said, I came up as atheist it was much intense version of this interaction atleast though they were understanding after my resilience 😅
For anyone confused and making “parenting is hard and parents do their best” apologetics in the comments, this comic portrays long term, systematic child abuse and survivors recognize it immediately. If a parent’s “best” involves abuse of any kind, it simply isn’t good enough, and no victim owes their abuser a single thing.
For any fellow survivors, I see you and it’s not your fault. They made choices when they raised you in a climate of terror, abuse, blame, and cruelty, you had no choice. Leave them to the natural consequences of their choices, your one wild life if your own, don’t let them take any more of it than they already have.
I think my 45 year old brother has stokholm syndrome and still lives like this
I love my parents but my relationship with them is complicated. This hits hard
How did you interview my mother to make this comic?
I guess we can make ourselves feel good about just about anything.
This hits close to home. I don’t talk to my mother anymore.
That’s my monster boomer mother. Also include “while you live under MY roof… blah-blah”. I spent my early childhood not feeling like I had a home. I was just visiting her house. Nothing was mine. She of course forgets my father paid for that house and she got it for free in the divorce.
She’d also say to me “the world doesn’t owe you a living.” She only had a high school degree and a year as a “kelly girl”. That turned into a secretary job at a community college, which later turned into a better secretary job at a huge aerospace company. After a few years that paid more than enough to live and she got stocks and a pension out of the deal. Her aunt died and left her a fortune (none for me). She’s one of those boomers that did the bare minimum in life, sits on a pile of free cash, free house, retired early, and complains about people on welfare or “damn government handouts”. Meanwhile she has never contributed anything of value to society, never volunteers, never donates to charity. She’s a fucking leach.
Oh yeah. When parents got divorced, she got primary custody of me. She was so insane, I ended up moving to my fathers house when I was 10. My father continued to pay her child support to stop her from filing a complaint with the court about me living with him (He was chill and figured it was the easy way to deal with her). So add that to the list of free money to her.
Anyway, now she’s old, fat, stupid, with no friends and will die alone. I actually expect her to die in the house alone and they’ll find her weeks later after her cat has chewed out chunks of her. LOL. Good kitty.
That’s cheery.
Let’s hope you raise your own children the way you wish you had been raised.
That’s what I’m doing. The pain of my childhood will not be passed on as more generational trauma.
I had a similar childhood, and had minimal contact in the last 10-15 years of her life. My mom ended up homeless and would have died on the street if her brother wasn’t willing to take her in. It was my fault she ended up homeless, because I moved out and stopped being the parent in the relationship.
I never want my child to feel about me the way my mother made me feel about her, and I’m doing the hard work to make myself a better person and parent than what I was taught to be.
It sucks because it’s like sitting there holding up a leaning pile of bricks, and you know as soon as you move it’s falling, but you only have 1 life and you deserve to spend it doing more than fixing other people’s mistakes.
Sometimes I think I’m not so smart
But then there’s people thinking people like kingporkchop can have children even if they want to
And I feel less stupid
This makes me feel bad for the cat.
That’s pretty much every narcissist’s view of having kids. That you owe them something for just making you exist.
Exactly, parents owe the children they bring into this world a safe and happy childhood, the child owes the parent nothing…nothing.
me_irl
My parents gave as much as they could. I never thought it was enough when I was a kid. Now that I’m in my forties, I know just how much that was.
I come from work tired as fuck and I know my old man was the same way, but he still found time to take me to the playground and then taught me math and English every night. My mom did the exact same but there was always a lunch and a dinner cooked for my ungrateful ass.
Through it all, they always loved me and said they were proud of me.
Its good to know that there are still some doing it right (my sister and bil are the same. I’m a cool aunt, thank you very much)
Well I hate you with a bitter jealousy and so very many of the empty places in my heart. Whoever you are.
“From hell’s heart, I stab at thee. For hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee…”
genesis intensifies
Okay so my search wasn’t working, but here’s the full portion:
I turn my body from the sun. What ho, Tashtego! Let me hear thy hammer. Oh! ye three unsurrendered spires of mine; thou uncracked keel; and only god-bullied hull; thou firm deck, and Pole-pointed prow,—death-glorious ship! must he then perish, and without me? Am I cut off from the last fond pride of meanest shipwrecked captains? Oh, lonely death on lonely life! Oh, now I feel my topmost greatness lies in my topmost grief. Ho, ho! from all your furthest bounds, pour ye now in, ye bold billows of my whole foregone life, and top this one piled comber of my death! Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hellcs heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! And since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!
There’s a lot of archaic language and nautical terminology there, but its much more about grief and abandon and madness, it shows a weakness, a frenzied hopeless death drive as much or more than the determination and strength implied by the shorter quote the space-nazi shouts.
The entire rest of that section goes so much harder and is so much gayer.
I’d add to this: “It’s my house, my rules! If you don’t like them then move the fuck out!!!”
I’m old now, and taking care of my elderly mom, and she hollers this at me about once a week, just like when I was a teen, which is why I left right out of college. These days, I tell her she wouldn’t last a week without me.
In the last two weeks, she’s called twice, because she went to the grocery store when I was working, and couldn’t figure out how to put the car in reverse to come home. She kept trying to shift the windshield wipers on the steering column. When I told her to use the shifter on the console, she didn’t know what it was until I told her it was next to the cupholder. She’s been driving the same vehicle for 6 years.
It looks like she may have to stop driving on her own, and she’ll tell me to leave again. I could go, I already pay for an expensive apartment in NYC for my family, I don’t HAVE to live with my mom, but who else is going to take care of her, my rich brother? Not a chance. She’s 88 years old, and nobody else will even acknowledge that she needs help, because then, y’know, you’d have to help. Better to pretend there’s no issue, then you can ignore it.
I’m not ignoring it. She may be a narcissist who has resented me my whole life (I was a 9.5 pound baby, born 7 months after they were married, get it?), but she’s my mom, and I feel obligated to help her in her old age. Someone has to, and I can’t just leave her alone. Something terrible will happen within a month. I worry horribly on the rare occasions that I visit my own family.
That’s what I did.
I called them on that. My parents having the realization slowly but finally dawn on them that this meant they now had to wash their own dishes, mow their own lawn, pick up their own mess, and fix all their own shit was glorious to behold.
Junior’s not here to bail you out anymore. And yet, I “sat around all day” doing “nothing,” huh?
I just wasn’t born with enough middle fingers.
Well this hits close to home.
