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How about we just say no to the idea of beating kids
If your kid comes home from school saying another kid beat them up ofc you’d be horrified yet some parents are okay with hitting their own kids and it makes no sense
ITT people taking issue with parenting methods not even being advocated for. If you take your children to public places, of course everyone knows they are children, but they still shouldn’t be pulling stuff off racks, running around screaming and licking the windows, or putting hands on other people or children.
You don’t have to yell at them or beat them or anything else, but if they can’t pull themselves together in public then work on it and consider not bringing them to such places. My mom made us all repeat the rules before we left the car (no running, no putting things in the cart without being asked, keep one hand on the cart while we are moving or something like those) and if we didn’t follow the rules we all went back to the car. Simple as that.
My mom made us all repeat the rules before we left the car (no running, no putting things in the cart without being asked, keep one hand on the cart while we are moving or something like those)
Wow, I’d forgotten this till just now - my mother did the same. Thanks for the memory jog!
I can remember being 2 or 3 years old and the golden rule then was to always be holding someone’s hand - parent/sibling, etc.
“I was abused as a child so I think other children should also be abused” - cringe-ass toktok moron
There’s a lot of space between “just let them carry on with whatever” and “beat them like I expected to be”. Not to mention, “getting my ass beat by my parents” might not mean literally getting beat, but can be a metaphor for any kind of discipline (though I can see how it can fall into the uncanny valley since there were and are parents that would literally beat asses).
I don’t hit my kids, I barely even yell. They’re the most well-behaved kids I know. Almost as though respecting your kids and spending time with them makes them happier? And maybe kids that feel respected act better? It’s a parenting problem. Youth are the future, we the parents decide what that future looks like.
Yes, teaching kids to behave is far more effective than beating them into compliance. Sure, they have difficulty grasping it in their early years, but with repetition it eventually sinks in like all of the other things we teach them.
It’s boundaries, expectations and consistancy in consequences if they break the rules.
Can we please leave TikTok face on TikTok? I come here specifically to escape the brain rot.
boy are you in the wrong place
I’m talking about a specific level of brain rot mind you, I can accept the lower level that is typical of Lemmy meme communities but not quite corporate social network levels.
brainrot has levels now?
it has layers, like an onion
you know, not everybody likes onions…
If you’re a brainrot connoisseur like them you have to differentiate everything.
Always had levels
I’m on level 69
nice
nice
A small example of the low-level brain rot accept in Lemmy meme communities
🤣 it’s amazing how you people actually think you are better.
Than TikTok? Sure we are. It’s an incredibly low bar. Most everything is better than TikTok.
🤣👌👍
Whatever you need to tell yourself.
I’m genuinely curious about affected people - are you able to express yourself without the use of reaction gifs and emojis?
“you people”
It’ll never live up to the first, but I want a sequel so bad .
Being a parent is hard af
You’ve riled the forever alone nerds.
Doesn’t help that people judge 2 year old parents when their child is crying. Not like they could hold a debate with someone who can not comprehend the concept of self control.
For real, clearly they never had to explain to a 4 year old why they could not run around with crayons stuffed in their nose.
No, but you can remove them from the venue if it doesn’t stop crying, unless you’re on a plane.
How do you think they’re going to learn to behave in public if they’re just cooped up 24/7? People being annoying and noisy is just a part of existing as a human being. We shouldn’t stunt the growth of entire fucking generations just because they make you uncomfortable.
How do you think they’re going to learn to behave in public if they’re just cooped up 24/7?
Thats not w what my comment said at all. Why are you arguing in bad faith?
My parents made tons of mistakes, but the word shh being acknowledged as existing wasn’t one of them.
People love to act like children are always so difficult they cannot be reasoned with, but shushing isn’t actually trauma. And it works very often. Guess what, everywhere I go people have horribly behaved dogs while mine is an angel in comparison. Why? Because I didn’t just let them do whatever whenever. I made small corrections consistently. And my dog seems quite happy. I’m sure you’ll get all mad that I’m “comparing children and animals” but honestly you can see the same kinds of boundary testing and reactions from both so I think it’s fair.
Removing from the venue changes the setting and makes it easier to talk to the child about what they were doing, and even more likely address whatever the child had going on. Removing them from the setting makes parenting easier and benefits everyone else.
Source: am parent and was a child at one point
They learn how to behave because when they behave inappropriately, they are punished. No one here is opposed to a charming little kid wandering around and doing cute shit. They are opposed to kids throwing 45 minute long temper tantrums because the italian restaurant doesn’t have chicken nuggets. You can practice this feedback cycle both at home and in public (in public, of course, remove the kid from the situation where they are annoying everyone first).
That just reinforces their behavior and they keep doing it. If they dont want to go to the grocery store or what ever, they cry, they go. They learn crying gets them what they want and they become spoiled brats. Tantrums and crying are growth opportunities some times, and not to mention, other times the parent needs to be there and they dont have other child care options.
Sorry to inconvenience you
2 year olds should really not be parents.
People also don’t get how different children are and how much neuro diversity is out there. Comments below say to remove the child from the venue or keep them at home. It’s been years and I’ve hardly left the house for social enjoyment. My kid finally gets excited about going to the cinema, so we go,and he ends up having difficulty regulating himself there…I guess I better scoop him up and fuck off back to the cave we crawled out of.
Managing children is difficult, and if a child is dedicated to their course of action, then you can’t win. You can never win a battle of wills against a young child. A child has infinite energy, infinite time and a single minded focus. They’ve got nowhere else to be nothing better to do.
if a child is dedicated to their course of action, then you can’t win. You can never win a battle of wills against a young child.
smh
Depends on their age and how you define win.
I don’t even know who does it worse.
People who have absolutely zero experience with children judging
Or the other parents who had a child that gave them no issues from birth. ‘Just politely ask them’ and they will be good. It ‘worked for me’.
Do you think “politely asking” is how you raise children that give you no issues?
It’s not hard to lead by example and to have important discussions with your kids. Kids understand until you show them they have the option not to.
As one of those neurodivergent kids, my mom explicitly laid all the blame on me whenever she felt embarrassed in public. I was removed from activities countless times without any clear understanding of why - all I knew was I wasn’t allowed to do fun things. There was no accommodation for sensory issues, no space provided for me to self-regulate, no understanding that I was having a difficult time and needed support - just labels thrown at me for “being difficult”, as if by merely existing, I was a problem.
Every child deserves to participate in enriching activities regardless of their neurotype. By removing neurodiverse kids (and not returning after they calm down) or outright keeping them away from such events, they may internalize the idea that who they are is not acceptable. Parents, there are resources available today that didn’t exist in the 90s. There is no reason to raise your neurodiverse kid the way we used to be raised. If you don’t know what to do with your kid and you haven’t already done so, get help. Please.
100%.
We have a ND kid who has the standard AuDHD diagnosis, and we do our best to allow them to participate in activities, and they’re getting a lot better at self regulation since we’ve been able to get them into therapy/OT/various other things that I did t get a chance to have when I was that young.
It’s hard, but just stopping and explaining things to kids goes so far, even if they can’t internalize it in the moment, those lessons build up and give them the base they need to participate in a world that has no empathy for the ND.
Agree completely. That’s what people don’t see when they’re being judgemental and demand that a child “be sorted and quietened now”. I need time to help my kid self-regulate and adjust and be supported in the environment…but I need the community’s support in tolerating a “loud and disruptive” child for a moment.
I was always told that I’d be more charitable about this kind of thing once I had kids.
No idea where anyone got that idea. After becoming a parent I’m WAY more judgy about bad parenting.
This is the unfortunate truth. If someone has “easier” children they become even more judgemental of “difficult” children. They take it as a skill issue as if their expert parenting was all that mattered and thus other parents are failures.
If you had that “difficult” child with the set of social circumstances as that family, then you might have struggled too. Withhold that judgement. Most are trying their best. Sometimes you might even see me “doing nothing” about my out of control child…but that’s because I’m trying to regulate myself before I lose my shit; just need a moment.
My kid finally gets excited about going to the cinema, so we go,and he ends up having difficulty regulating himself there…I guess I better scoop him up and fuck off back to the cave we crawled out of.
If they are doing something really disruptive like crying for extended periods of time just remove them from the setting for long enough to regulate themselves and go back in. Keeping them in a setting where they can’t regulate themselves for extended periods of time is counterproductive. I stepped out into the hall with my klddo to get away from the loud noise and bright screen so she could get herself under control a lot of times, and eventually she figured out how to regulate herself in those same situations.
Now if people are shitty because the kiddo is doing regular kid things or because they were disruptive for a short period of time then they can go eat a turd.
I understand but also not my problem? If you are too tired to deal with your children maybe keep them at home. If you are going to bring a child to a public place you got to be prepare and willing to educate them. Your children are special bundles of joy for You, and you only. People are not ok in having to deal with an unhinged savage child because parenting is hard. People take the “it takes a village” wrong. Not everyone you see is on your village.
Your children are special bundles of joy for You, and you only.
Those snotrags are in charge of funding our retirements excuse me!
What retirement?
I’ll be long dead before retirement as they keep raising retirement age far beyond what most people in my family have lived.
They won’t, the go on your nerves now and they won’t fund your retirement.
Hahahahahaha
Then, politely, fuck off.
Children are a part of the society that you live in, whether you liked it or not. I don’t know who hurt you, but you were also a child once. You pooped your diapers, you cried, you misbehaved. How your parents have treated you when you did these things has a very direct effect on how you behave and think right now. My guess is they were shitty, it would explain your irrational anger and hatred towards kids.
Misbehaving in public is a necessary step to learning how to behave in the first place. It’s a learning by doing thing. You won’t get your child prepared to act kind, nice, and considerate with other people if you don’t let them meet other people. You cannot teach your kid how to behave on the outside at home. How is that not obvious to you? It is inconvenient, it is annoying, it is hard, and it has to be done so that we don’t have underdeveloped, immature, dysregulated asshole adults a generation’s time from now.
Parents are always obligated to watch for their kids and show them how to behave. This doesn’t mean they can, or should, control their every move, word, reaction, emotion, or behavior. If a 3 year old cries and it is uncomfortable for you, that’s your problem. It is not the child’s or the parent’s duty to shut them up with a gag ball ffs. It is their duty to help them resolve and guide them through their overwhelming emotions. So that they will grow up to be emotionally healthy adults.
Children have an innate need to play. They learn via playing. They learn via trying things out and touching them. They learn to walk and run by walking and running - and falling and failing. They also learn about the world from the world’s reaction. Being met with disdain for solely existing and breathing won’t help them to grow up to be adults with a lot of self worth.
You don’t get to decide who is part of the society and village you live in. You don’t get to cherry pick your neighbors.
You don’t want kids in your village go live in a cave.
Kid having a meltdown in the Walmart while their mom casually picks out yoga pants
volvoxvsmarla: “look at this fine example of parenting!”
I can’t find where the yoga pants part was supposedly said
That’s a lot of anger you’re spitting just because someone doesn’t want to hear screaming children. My siblings and I were never allowed to scream in public.
Yes, I have a lot of anger for people who meet the most vulnerable parts of our society with hostility. I have an immense anger for people who don’t think these vulnerable people in the making have a place in society.
Congratulations on not being allowed to scream in public, ever. Did you good. Your parents had shitty standards and now you want to enforce these on other children so that they will also grow up and hate children. Great idea.
We are not talking about kids babe, we are talking about YOU that is too tired to educate
What you don’t understand (or pretend not to) is that you’re the one being judged, not the kids. It seems obvious from this chain that your kids are out of control and you get judged for it. I can think of no other reason you’d act this way.
I think the point of contention is, that the user you debate is under the (right) assumption, that when a child cries in public, this is just a small snapshot out of all the time the parents took them to any public place. A child crying is not a bug, it’s an inherent feature. They sometimes just do that, they don’t even know themselves, so it’s not the parents fault, that their mini-human isn’t behaving like a fucking Gucci bag. Everything volvoxvsmarla said is true, children learn through trial an error and yes, you need to sometimes take the brunt of this process, I’m sorry little one. When children don’t learn how to behave in (for example) supermarkets because you banned them, then you get teenagers who didn’t learn to behave. You can’t only pass the problem on forever. I’m a teacher and it really fucking shows when kids never learned how to exist in a public place.
BTW., this is not an excuse for parents who evidently don’t give a fuck or even worse, motivate their children to be brats so they entertain themselves. Scum of the earth. But it’s perfectly possible for parents to try their hardest and they still fail sometimes.
I can tell you a specific scenario I take issue with. At the grocery store the other day, a child screamed at the top of its lungs all over the store. The parent never seemed to notice or care, but people everywhere were looking at each other, all clearly bothered. I’m sorry but that’s not my problem, that’s their shit to work out and they clearly don’t give a shit about others. Shitty parenting, 100% worthy of judgement.
We don’t have to assume that everyone bothered by kids at all hates kids or has no tolerance for their annoyances. OP did that, and took out what seems obvious to me as parental stress on users ITT. So I don’t really have much capacity left to empathize with them in particular.
No one is saying kids shouldn’t be allowed in public. They’re saying if your kid is losing their shit in a restaurant, remove them from the restaurant until they are done losing their shit.
Honestly, the judgement of parenting is not my main issue here. It’s the hypocrisy of at the same time saying “this is your problem, not mine” and “you have to deal with your problem so that I am not inconvenienced.”
Like, you can’t have it both ways. Either you don’t care, and then other people deserve the right to also not care about your opinion, or you do indeed care, and then it is your problem too. Your quote about not being part of the village is the one that I am saying fuck off to. You want to take yourself out of society and of the context, yet expect the other part to not take themselves out of society. You don’t even decide to look away, you decide to look with destructive criticism. I don’t see how this is supposed to help anyone, you included.
You come off as the type of person who will look at both the kid and the parent in disdain for being a nuisance even when they did something absolutely minor that you could easily avoid, ignore, or get away from. Are you assuming the kid will differentiate between your reaction towards them and their parent? Or that your reaction has no effect on the parent’s treatment of their child, perhaps in a more negative than positive way?
As for the judgement part, as I have pointed out somewhere else, you are seeing a sniplet of a day, of a life, of an hour. Yet you feel like you have enough information to rightfully judge. It’s correct that the kid might be subjected to bad, neglectful parenting and the parents do not care if their kid behaves awfully. Or you might have just met them in a vulnerable, bad moment. Somehow you know tho. Why not give them the benefit of the doubt or, God forbid, ask whether yoh can help? Offer a supporting smile to someone struggling? Why be hostile instead?
Because even if you took a perfect parent who does everything according to textbook from beginning to end, the kid will still have meltdowns in the most inconvenient and absurdly embarrassing moments in public.
And I have seen way too many parents who devote an insane amount of time and effort to their parenting, are reflected and have the best intentions and approaches, are incredibly level headed and collected (definitely not me tho), and give it their all, still being talked down upon by absolute strangers if they cannot make their preschool kid calm down within ten seconds. If these parents don’t stand a chance in the eye of public scrutiny, then I just don’t even know how a normal parent who doesn’t spend 24/7 thinking about their parenting choices has a chance.
I’ve also seen cases of what I would call bad parenting. Shaming, yelling, ignoring cries for help. But at least I can realise that I don’t know the full story. So unless I have a direct offer of help (tissue, water, bandaid, carrying something, etc) I let them be and hope that they know what they are doing and handling the situation to the best of their ability. I also know a kid who died of shaken baby syndrome because the new partner of their mom couldn’t handle the cries. I’d much prefer he ignored the cries and tantrums instead of killing the two year old boy.
It’s the hypocrisy of at the same time saying “this is your problem, not mine” and “you have to deal with your problem so that I am not inconvenienced.”
What the hell are you even talking about? It’s not complicated. Because you aren’t taking care of the issue, it became mine (and every other person being bothered). I can’t take enough drugs to understand how that wouldn’t be obvious, or how it could be “hypocrisy”. What the actual fuck. I chose not to have kids, you chose to. Therefore I cannot and should not be expected to help them not lose their shit. That is your job. Do it.
Also, you confused me with someone else. I didn’t mention “the village”. You must have also missed my comment where I said that I lost my empathy for you after your ragey diatribes where you shirk all your responsibility.
And for the record, when I see the parent actually trying, I don’t judge them, I just try to get through it and ignore the child’s cries, such as a baby screaming on a plane. What I cannot have compassion for are the people who do not seem to be trying in the least. Which is far too common.
You were not allowed to but I can guarantee that you were still screaming in public.
Hmm my mother says I was quiet and I observed normal amounts of fussiness from my other siblings that was far less than screaming at the top of their lungs. If they had done that, they would have been shushed, comforted, talked to, or taken somewhere else because my parents took responsibility for their own decisions and for what their children did. Instead of pretending it’s hopeless and that whatever impulse we had was fine.
My son was, too. I didn’t raise him strictly (I was a hippie mother, raised in the 70s), but gradually acclimatised him through smaller interactions (small groups to larger, to regional to public), because I had that luxury. Lots of parents over the past 10 years were deprived of that, and it’s been exceptionally difficult to get a child acclimatised to an increasingly hostile world.
People have been far less patient in public – which is entirely understandable, given the circumstances – so many parents and other caregivers (teachers, counsellors, etc) who are trying their best can’t help but be defensive when they hear negativity towards children online, because I’d wager everyone encounters people who are excessively put out by the slightest transgression of a child in their proximity.
It may not be the way the majority react, nor how you react, but it happens regularly enough to become exhausting.
So, in these conversations, I feel like many people are responding to children who are clearly being publicly misparented, and then there are many parents who are thinking of the times someone overreacted to a social faux pas by their child.
I feel like people are misdirecting their anger here.
I think you’re dead on actually. The person I responded to is so defensive because they’ve probably been talked to about it before. No matter how awful it’s been I never have done that. And if they realized that they as a parent are used to the annoyance, but others aren’t, it actually takes restraint not to at least glare. So when that commenter got so pissed, I assume their child is poorly behaved enough for the parent to get told semi-often
Not really. There are kids louder than others. And while there may be some internal aspects to that a lot of that have to do with education. Specially as they grow and education starts becoming more a defining factor.
Every child screams in public at some point? That’s normal development. You and I did too. They may just be excited.
Of course if a child is screaming constantly then the parents need to intervene. But expecting children to be seen but not heard is unrealistic by any standard.
That person really feels entitled to inflict their children’s bad behavior on everyone else around them.
We should sterilize people who’s children tantrum in public, and have social services take their children.
You think the judgment is being leveled at the KIDS? No, no, no… nobody’s judging kids for acting out. They’re kids.
Kids aren’t the problem. Bad parents are the problem.
Judgement is only partially the problem. You are never as full of yourself as a parental figure as before you become one. Neglectful parents should be held accountable, that is not the core of the issue.
What bothers me immensely is the thought that “your kid, not my problem, but actually it is my problem, because I want them to behave differently”. This is like eating your cake and have it too.
The other thing that I find awful is that just existing on the outside (for some families even inside) is so anxiety evoking because of all these judgements. Parents end up micromanaging their kids and berating them for minor things because they are so fucking scared that people will judge them or yell at them for not having a picture perfect child that you can overlook. Children are not allowed to show any childish behavior on the outside. And this is what bothers me so much. You have to constantly choose between supporting your kid and gentle (not neglectful) parenting where you don’t yell or hit and simply being on their side or trying to appeal to the scrutiny of the public eye because it wants perfect order and quiet.
When you go vacationing in a child friendly country (looking at you, Croatia) and you feel supported instead of frowned upon for the exact same behaviors of your kid, because they are just having fun and not destroying anything and just minding their own business while not perfectly sitting still, then you just understand how shitty it is to go every day feeling the cold stare of everyone around who wished children would just die out.
I am a parent. My kid knows that some things aren’t okay to do in public and especially not in the direction of people who are trying to live their own lives. Teaching courtesy is not complicated.
Your third paragraph, from beginning to end, is INSANE and you’re telling on yourself quite a bit there.
Thank you for representing a normal parent reaction here. I too think this user comes off unhinged. It also seems to me like they think all their parenting shortcomings are someone else’s fault. If no one else’s, those people silently suffering in the public spaces they share with their screaming kids.
Society norms have to be bilateral, and convenient for every member of the society.
One member of society cannot fuck around not expecting to, eventually, find out.
This is why we have laws, norms and social customs. So we can live in a society.
If members of society feel that they cannot longer live next to other members is when society breaks, and, you like it or not, the social pact gets broken.
You cannot force members of a society to live en the minimum common suffering denominator. To lower everyone standards of living to the one provided by the most annoying member of the society. That’s a highway to the society giving the big F to that member.
It should be the contrary, society should try to live to the standard of the less annoyance. To avoid bother the most sensible member of the group.
It’s a everyone loses vs everyone wins situation. We should aim for the later.
You can look around and see that the world is not ok on you imposing your misbihaved child on everyone.
I was once a child, correct, and I couldn’t leave my table in a restaurant, that was not even a question. I had to learn to behave otherwise I would be grounded at home. My father left the table more than once in a restaurant to take my brother to be grounded in the car. And came back once it was understood.
Limits are healthy and if it’s tok hard you can always gibe them to social services or not fucking having them.
Just look around a little. Nobody else cares about you baby or you.
Absolutely. I swear, these people just want no one to ever dare have children and for humanity to go extinct.
Actually yes. Humans are just not good. Israel proves there’s no redemption for humanity.
I get daily contempt, just trying to do a few basic things as a non-neurotypical. Society hates humans so much, that if you show signs that you exist, and you show any humanity, you get so much hatred.
Humans aren’t appreciated in this world. Let them have their perfect AI, let humans die out.
Speaking as a parent, you are correct.
Thank you. Just adding again I’m not agains kids. Just want parents to parent more sometimes.
They’re mad because you’re right and they have to deal with screaming brats all day because they chose to and you didn’t.
exactly. They are mad because it’s NOT about the kids. Kids will be kids and thats why they have PARENTS. the Parents are the fucking lazy people that are “too tired” but keep having children becuase “oh my god it takes a vilage” Fuck off go raise your child
Being a good one is.
I would argue that being a bad one even has its challenges.
even being a bad parent can be very tough
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Right. Maybe that’s why you have mad social anxiety and the like. Because your parents beat your ass for even talking when out in public.
If every single one of your ancestors did something and so did everyone else’s on a planet of 8 billion, the thing is not that hard.
It’s weird that it’s completely necessary for every single person to make that choice! Also, the kind of people that actually parent and don’t just unleash their loud, hyperactive child on strangers don’t get memes made about them.
Source: I was a loud, hyperactive child, but I was taught respect, consideration, and made to follow rules.
Tell me you’re not a parent without telling me you’re not a parent…
Let me know when you can participate in a genuine conversation without exclusively regurgitating tiktok phrases!
Me watching my only heir reenact Bruegel’s Seven Vices: 🤬 (they heed me not)
Me watching the unheeded parents of another demonic recreant: 😌
It’s crazy seeing kids being kids. In the 90’s abuse was legal and used, daily. I guess the trade off is life expectancy since we didn’t dodge bullets on the daily.
In 1990 violent crime was twice what it is now. It dropped heavily from 91’ until 99’.
We just think it is more dangerous now because we can see it every time we reach in our pockets. (And companies make money off making sure we see it.)
I would say school shootings are higher now than any point in U.S. history. Child abuse is always an issue but kids today are more protected than in the 90s.
Yeah I would say they have been abnormally high since 2016, with 2020 being an oddity (COVID).
Murders overall are half what they were in 1990. Meaning we have a lot more targeted attacks for various reasons I’m not going to speculate in because my bias would likely impact what I think reasonings may be.
Yeah, it is safer now then ever before overall. I live in Sacramento. Very big place area wise but 20 years ago… It was dangerous with almost half the population size.
New York in the early 90s was cool but you never went down any alleys. I don’t care what it was. If it rolls down the alley it is the lords then.
Gen X, I presume?
Who is the 50-something in this situation?
It bothers me how Generation X has been stretched out over time. It should be more people in their 60s. Coupland is 63. If you’re 55 now you were barely in high school when his book about late 20s-early 30s people came out.
Intellectually I understand why we gave up on the “Gen Y” stuff once the idea of Millenials surfaced, but I’m in that gradient where during my lifetime I went through waves of being post-Gen X, then a millenial, then all the way back to Gen X, then sorta millenial again once it became OK for millenials to have kids and jobs and be old and stuff.
Generational designators are bullshit anyway, but if you’re in that gap between X and millenials, or between millenials and Gen Z, now going through that exact process, they become annoying bullshit.
Generational demarcations are cultural, so having a hard line in between them is a bit of BS, but there were greater cultural affinity trends thanks to monoculture which has only really existed since WWII. With the way the internet is fracturing media exposure, generational cohorts may fall apart and be meaningless because there’s not one set of TV shows everyone watches together anymore, for example.
The Boomers had a ton of media from 1955-1972 to lean on for self-identification. Gen X and Millennials did the same, but Millennials and Boomers both had large-scale structural changes take place that entrenched their cohort’s cultural baseline. Gen X got screwed by the Oil Crisis, after-effects of the Boomers figuring out how to deal with Vietnam, and the economic downturn in the 70s. Boomers sucked the air out of the room and saved some of it for Millennials.
Gen X had no Moon Landing or JFK in Dallas moments that were a “where were you?” nostalgia. We didn’t get that again until 9/11, which pitches it to Millennials. Gen X had some monocultural elements, mostly phenomenal music and movies, but they weren’t as pervasive as Boomers getting TV for the first time.
I expect you might be part of the “Oregon Trail” cohort, which is the cusp between X and MIllennials - resilience of Gen X, but comfortable with dayglow colors and likely had access to an early computer in elementary school where MECC games like Oregon Trail were common. I think it’s literally people born 1979-1983. It works, though.
See, I kinda see it the other way. Generational demarcations used to be cultural and thus geographically determined back when different places had different media. Now we all have the same garbage social media, so since the 2000s it makes sense that we’re all on the same boat made of crap and hate.
For example, my parents had a moon landing, but it looked, sounded different and meant very different things. Also for example, I had no idea what Oregon Trail was or what it was about until the Internet told me it was a staple of US computer classes. If you think about it for a few seconds it may be no surprise that my equivalent was some combination of drawing dicks in LOGO, Defender of the Crown and Saboteur II.
We have local names for people born in the late 70s to mid 90s, too. After that we just use the US-designed universal names, though.
Late Gen X / early Millennial is called a Xennial. We’re characterized as having been born in a largely analog world and coming of age as consumer technology became more prevalent. I think it informally encompasses 1977-1983.
I was born in '81 and graduated high school in '99. I grew up hearing that I was Gen X, the slacker generation, the whatever generation, the generation where trying was uncool. And that’s exactly the experience I had. I was an adult before I ever heard the term ‘millennial’ and I don’t identify with it at all, though technically I’m on the cusp. Xennial does seem to fit though.
That’s one of the places where it landed. And certainly the stupidest sounding one.
I didn’t make up “Gen Y”, it was a thing you’d hear at the time, it just didn’t stick. Iliza Shlesinger has a comedy special called Elder Millennial, which is also a thing I’ve heard elsewhere. She was born in 83.
It’s all a dumb mess, I guess is my point.
I was born in 96 when my mom was 19. I remember sometime in middle to early high school looking up the generation year cut offs and thinking it was wild my mom and i were considered the same generation; her being the start of the generation and me being the end.
Obviously thats no longer the case with current generation year cutoffs, but im now starting to see 96 included as the first year of gen Z which feels…wierd. I definitely dont connect with people of gen Z easily because it feels like…well…a different generation, but at the same time I feel a disconnect with other, older, millenials because they tend to remember the 90s more than myself. Im not sure about anyone else, but being born in 96 feels like being stuck between two generations that you partially relate to, but not really.
The children
Out of curiosity do you mean the age of the person who posted, the person in the image, or something else? I am a Gen X and my children look about the age of the person in the screenshot.
More the messaging, than the person in the picture…because yeah, they look too young to be Gen X.
I’m Gen X too, and I’m pretty sure we were the last generation where it was considered “normal” to get beaten in public for behavioral reasons.
I’m confused with ages here, have we standardized this?
- Greatest Generation (born roughly 1901–1927)
- Silent Generation (1928–1945)
- Baby Boomers (1946–1964)
- Generation X (1965–1980)
- Millennials (1981–1996)
- Generation Z (1997–2012)
- Generation Alpha (born around 2013–2024)
- Generation Beta (2025–2039)
I’m annoyed by this on principle and across the board, but I do want to point out that “Greatest Generation” all the way to “Baby Boomers” makes zero sense in most of the planet. You can sooooort of get away with Millenials to Alpha because the Internet is a bad idea, and Gen X at least applies to probably most of Europe as well as the US and Canada, although it’s still weird across the board.
But everything before that? Super specifically US-only.
Those generations are common like that at least in Germany too. It’s not as specific as you think. And even if it was then it’s made up regardless so who cares. It’s a useful concept.
You are telling me Germans consider people born in the first 20 years of the 20th century to be “the greatest generation”?
Holy crap, you may hang out with the wrong Germans. Did they seem particularly excited about the recent NRW elections?
Maybe not that. But the silent generation onwards.
I don’t think the names are particularly relevant, but the idea that people born in those years have done shared experience notably different from other times is—to the extent it can ever be true for any specified dates (which is a very low extent)—fairly consistent across at least western countries and their colonies.
Makes sense. Yep, I have multiple friends my age who were on the receiving end of some “tough love”.
Some of my earliest “formative memories” were of getting walloped in the middle of a grocery store aisle, for whining about cereal. My mother said, “pick which one you want”. I thought that meant I could pick something I actually wanted. Apparently not. My choices were shredded wheat or cheerios.
Everything else in that aisle was a decoy, with a spanking attached to it.
I don’t mind rambunctious children, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone, doing ear piercing screaming, or doing something that spreads disease. (Like putting their hands directly into ice cream topping trays instead of using the fucking scoop)
Frequently I see parents be way overly harsh with their kids where I’m at like the parent is terrified of being seen as a bad/lazy parent so they take it out on their kid by way over reacting to a kid doing something disruptive but ultimately pretty harmless.
There are occasional situations where the parent just dumbly stands there doing nothing to stop their kid doing something they really shouldn’t (like that Ice Cream Topping example… which is a thing I recently witnessed). But that’s less common than the former. Might be because I live in a rural conservative hellhole where kids are seen as their parent’s property.
My kids are respectful but they’re kids and I have an autistic 4 year old who is so cute and cuddly but he has the energy of a thousand suns, one time he was skipping around, hopping over cracks in the sidewalk and being happy and laughing loud, we go to a store and hes asking me a million questions and laughing and talking loud while being energetic and hopping. this one old Karen tells me I need to keep him quieter and calm, because he is disturbing others by laughing and being a kid. Without skipping a beat i said “well good thing hes a kid, the world belongs to the kids, not miserable Old people who are gonna die any day now” She had that look that if she were wearing a monocle it would have popped out.
I’m definitely the kind of adult who applies a disproportionately large punishment for small public disruptive behavior from kids I’m watching. It sucks because I know I’m going to far but I’m also so scared of the other adults in the room that I don’t know how else to react. It sucks.
What exactly are you afraid of them doing?
Embarrassing me, which when I say that why should I care if they embarrass me in front of other adults? So long as I’m trying to resolve the situation in a reasonable and mature way, why do I care about what other random adults are thinking.
[S] Is Lemmy better than therapy? [/S]
My mom had 4 kids. 3 of us were well behaved in public and she said “I would look at those parents with screaming kids in the store and think I am doing something right, my kids don’t do that. So God gave me Janet. I was so judgemental, then I got one who screamed in the store.”
It’s pretty hard being a dad and wanting to not hit my kids (which I do not) because I know damn well when they’re throwing shit and having an absolute exorcist level tantrum over some inconsequential shit I just think “yeah my mum would have smacked my ass and I’d not have done that again” for the eighth time each day…
“Calm it down or you’ll lose your tablet time” doesn’t have the same immediate corrective effect.
Talk to them. Make them feel dig. Get right in there and help them determine what their emotions are doing and how to regulate them. That’ll teach them!!
Obviously the solution is to beat them senseless like my parents did, so they can later wonder what they did to deserve that…
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They take your kids away from you now if they hear you beat them.
If you were beating your kids loud enough for me to hear, I’d hope they’d be taken away, too!
